Dazzler

based on this 1.3m being dead is at least 1.9m too few

Got me bog rolls ready for wah trip tew the fountain, marra just in case there’s another pando and ah cannit nick any from Herrons. Ahm not yewsin me socks again, ahm still pickin peanut shards out me toenails from tha playoff final.

Looks like Matty Longstaff is off to Toronto FC.

Just been reading up on this as I knew he was facing a ban but hadn't been arsed enough to pay much attention. So they find testosterone metabolites in his system and provisionally suspend him - he then calls bullshit and demands a counter-test - which also returns a positive result I think he's probably been done over by someone here, as he's had every opportunity to come clean and have a more lenient punishment but has fought it (despite knowing he was facing a four year ban) which I can only think he's done because he had no idea he was ingesting PEDs - I wonder if any other Juve players were tested, as let's be honest, it's not like they aren't the most corrupt and devious club to ever grace the game.

Can't wait to see Man City and Chelsea competing in the final of the FA Vase after each win the Conference North and South, respectively.

The former? Pass. But I reckon the latter loves belting out a bit of Bee Gees on the karaoke when he's had a few whiskeys.

Does it say how much they are over? Surely it's just a case of selling one of their main players really like Ramsay or Watkins - I couldn't imagine they are miles over the threshold. Cunts should have sold us Ramsay when we asked for him

There's is literally zero indication that the club is looking to peddle Howe at any point - it's fucking mental how much the media is trying to put pressure on the bloke - No wonder he looks like he's aged 10 years in the last few months.

Aye limitless win was a load of shite tbf

Still better than Fergie's (Black Eyed Peas, not the noncey princes ex or the plonkey cunt that managed Man Utd) attempt.

It's like Ant losing Dec (or vice versa) really. They were probably closer to being a long term married couple than just mates - I got the impression they did just about everything together. It's fucking shite. As MF said he seemed like a proper decent bloke.

I fucking it! I knew there had to be a reason we won that game that couldn't be explained by "a premier league team with a smidgen of remaining confidence (at the time), and quality players overpowers middling championship team with zero premier league quality, whilst never getting out of second gear". Fucking Saudis man, ruining the game - just like they ruin the carpets in embassies - bastards.

This reads like my cover letter

A home draw vs Man City would have been nicer, and I doubt a good number of reserves will be in for them in the FA Cup like they were in the league cup so that adds to the difficulty level of the draw but we're still in it until we're not - We've still got a punchers chance of going through. Though our form lately, this could be the punch in question:

I'm pretty certain he will. It's low hanging fruit to go after them for really - though the way the tories are going the fruit is actively falling from the trees, at a rapid pace - so Starmer will need a fucking hard hat.

Last time we won a penalty shootout in a cup run we made the final - it was a massive 12 months ago - we are still in the running until we're out of the cup (which will most likely be at the Etihad but still).

I think she could hold more than that up there tbh.

I think "visiting owl" was largely on the button to be honest, it's the tragic cunt replying to them that is mental/lying. I do think a portion of our overweight, topless ticket holding wall punchers would have probably started to turn had we gone out last night. It would have been a minority though. I loved the commentator trying to make the same point last night saying he'd spoken to fans before the game that had said lose this and they would turn - only to be completely drowned out by chants of "Eddie Howe's black and white army"

Looks like someone drew a face on a balloon and squeezed the bottom

Klopp 10 minutes into the welcome party at the new monkey: