acrossthepond

CT has to be the most boring poster on the board. His posts could literally be written by an algorithm. GET {from_among_NewcastleForum_posts} {PlayerNameMostMentioned;range=last_week} - IF {ReferencedPosts} include {good;great;brill;excellent;quality;class;top;wonder} THEN post @{RandomThread} Nonsense. {Grownups;real men;football fans;most Newcastle fans} know that {PlayerNameMostMentioned} is {rubbish;terrible;poor;letting the team down;a disappointment;a luxury;inept}. Stick to {watching from the couch;playing Football Manager;watching the Spanish league} you {numpties;morons;children} {smileyemoticon}. - IF {ReferencedPosts} include {rubbish;terrible;poor;letting the team down;a disappointment;a luxury;inept} THEN post @{RandomThread} Nonsense. {Grownups;real men;football fans;most Newcastle fans} know that {PlayerNameMostMentioned} is {good;great;brill;excellent;quality;class;top;wonder}. Stick to {watching from the couch;playing Football Manager;watching the Spanish league} you {numpties;morons;children} {smileyemoticon}. p.s. before I get pulled up on it, I know that doesn't reference real code in any way, shape, or form.

I'm not suggesting any such thing. In my post yesterday I made it clear that half the squad needs replacing. While obviously the blame for our pathetic displays and lack of any ambition whatsoever lies with Ashley, Pardew is a net negative and as such needs to be replaced. Just saying "we might get someone worse" or "he's just a symptom" didn't stop us from wanting Allardyce or Kinnear out, because they were fucking diabolical, just like Pardew,

Pardew is a known quantity - he's bloody rubbish, he's a yes man for Ashley, and he's an arrogant git who wants punching. I accept that anyone Ashley brings in will also be prepared to act as his yes man and toe the party line, so there'll be no change on that front. Maybe his replacement will be a better manager (not hard), or maybe he'll be just as shit, but he'll be less of a fucking wanker who I'm embarrassed to have representing my club in front of the world (also not hard.) Willing to roll those dice.

Done with this useless fucker. He needs to go along with the deadwood that clutters our squad. Keep Debuchy (though he'll probably be off), Sissoko, Anita, Tiote, Gouffran (although on the evidence of the last two games...), Krul, Santon, and the kids, chuck the rest, and start over. Of course that'll never happen - it'll still be the automatic excuse generator at the helm next season, minus anyone of quality left, with the few decent players remaining shoehorned into a shit formation, with de Jong signing permanently.

Hmmm...Ashley is a money-grubbing cunt. We got off to a poor start.

I always feel we look better when we have Sissoko coming through the middle to pounce on loose balls at the edge of the box. Both Tiote and Anita are somewhat averse (understandably) to throwing themselves forward, so often one of our strikers ends up out in a wide area with no-one for support. Sissoko should be providing that support from midfield with late runs into the box like Cabaye used to do.

Sissoko's natural tendency is to go inside and Gouffran was utterly useless on Saturday - he looked to be carrying a knock but either way he really didn't fancy it out wide. If we're relying on full-backs to provide our only width, we're in trouble, and I hope that's something that's addressed in the summer.

Christ, that's a bit hard on Ant.

The lack of creativity in our side since Cabaye went is crippling. For all the hard work Tiote and Anita put in, they're virtually clones of each other and offer little to nothing going forward. Sissoko is being wasted out wide when he should be playing behind the strikers, and Gouffran is a definite attacking force, but not much of a creator. Ben Arfa brings a lot of baggage and he's frustrating more often than not, but without Cabaye we simply can't afford not to play him. We need somebody to fashion chances and the rest of the team is not set up to do that. It was Cabaye's role as conductor, but he's gone and Ben Arfa has to step up.

GET IN @%$@!%WQFRWGFWQFTy#@Rt

Poor change. We need more attacking players on since we're so sparse in the box. de Jong should've stayed on with Gouffran off for HBA.

I don't mean to belabor the point but I can't figure out just what Gouffran is doing. He's standing roughly where Tiote usually does and barely moving, just playing short passes in midfield. If he's in the centre, then who's on the wing? Anita? Dummett? It's not working, whatever it is.

Goofy looks completely fucked. Standing around in the centre of the pitch doing absolutely nothing. I didn't see an injury but he's just strolling and doesn't look fit to continue.

It gets really flat after a little while. I played it during closed beta and it got old quite quickly. OK to durdle around on a tablet with if you're watching TV or something, and it is free so nee bother if you stop liking it, but it's not the most strategically deep game out there.

He'll be on his arse when the season's over, I think. Man U are already so deep in debt that they can't afford to forfeit a legitimate source of revenue in the CL, not to mention the drop in shirt sales/overseas sponsorship/etc as their "fans" abroad begin to desert after - God forbid! - a season as also-rans.

I think you should take some more time off or ask for reduced hours for a while, if possible. The sensitivity and dizziness are classic signs of a recurring concussion. It takes time to restore normal brain function after a concussion and it happens in stages - any overwork, physical or mental, during any of the stages and a re-injury might occur.

That's what we've been saying for windows and windows. Colo's off? Step forward, Curtis Good. Adam Armstrong, Vuckic, and that ginger lad (Campbell?) as Remy and de Jong replacements. (I don't actually think it'll come to that, but I put nothing past the fat one any more. Expect a new DoF, possibly someone with Spurs links, appointed sometime in mid-July who we couldn't get in any earlier because we had to make sure we had the 'right man for the job', then a disappointing lack of signings attributed to the fact that we didn't have enough time to carefully scout each signing and make sure that they're a perfect purple. But not to worry because our powder's still dry for January, blah blah, rinse and repeat.)

Do we really need this thread right now? It's going to end in tears. (No knock on you Anorthernsoul, I just remember what a disappointment the "Jan Transfer Nonsense Thread" was.)

Two summers ago I was at our preseason match away to Hartlepool. Quite apart from the pair of total charva morons in front of us, there was a bloke with his little boy, six years of age perhaps, standing behind. Every so often this young Socrates would offer up sage observations on the game. I particularly liked "the referee's a seal", but there was also a period of 5 minutes or so where he stood bolt upright in his dad's arms, pointing straight at a Pools player, squealing "FATTY! FATTY!" at the top of his little lungs. Bless.

The clip of some of those scruffy fuckers, Christ. It's worse when you have to smell them. Neckbearded, overweight, mostly unemployed white dudes whose idea of personal hygiene is washing their Cheeto-covered hands with cold water until they aren't visibly Gerrard's-lass-coloured any more. ...and I should know, as I am one. Minus all that shit about being unemployed, neckbearded, filthy, and white.

Re-reading this I had a chuckle at how right ajax-andy was. What an astonishing waste of wages this clown has been. I cringe every time I see him in black and white, which is thankfully rare.

If you don't have anything constructive to say, don't say anything at all. I personally think the police will have no trouble connecting the dots and piecing together a case on this one.

Don't mean to derail this thread again, but I wanted to go back to Bioshock 2. Been playing it and though it's canny, it feels like a straight ripoff of the original. I got both off a Steam sale for around $5 each so I'm not too bothered that 2 feels like 1.5, but if I'd paid full price for both games, I think I'd be a bit cheesed off. Same universe, practically the same setting, some of the same characters, mostly the same weapons, mostly the same enemies....

Yes, I'm angry about Sunderland. I'm angry that we're always in their shadow...oh, wait. I'm angry about how much better their squad is...hang on. Um, I'm angry about how much classier they are than us...no, not that one either...er, I'm angry that, uh....we won't get to play Middlesbrough next year? I don't bet and I certainly wouldn't spend money on your excuse for a club. That's why I'm on this board, supporting and discussing the club I love. Not hanging out on our rivals' board stinking up the place with my diabolical craic. You might try it.

Reading my local paper wouldn't tell me much about NUFC. Getting back to something more pertinent, you're a sad, obsessed mackem bastard whose club gleefully accepts our "convicts" and castaways and who spends more time thinking about NUFC than SAFC. Enjoy your away days in Bournemouth next year, and those fascinating Wear-Tees derbies.