The Fish

Well thank fuck for Onana, I say. If it wasn't for him, school drop off this morning would have been a fucking nightmare. Also, the Man City fans knew better than to try and gloat off the back of pasting Ipswich. Only one who's got anything to say is the Everton fan.

Kelly is not our 3rd choice Centreback. Botman, Schar, Burn. So he's 4th at best. You then go on to list what next season situation will be, pushing your boy Kelly further down the pecking order. Botman, Burn, New RCB, Schar, and then Kelly. Unless of course he's usurped by one of the young CBs we've been accumulating for the youth team. So far, you're arguing that we keep a hold of our 4th, or 5th choice centreback. We'd get no money for Schar or Burn. We definitely don't want to lose Botman. So Kelly is our most saleable asset in an area of the pitch where we actually have depth. Put that up your shitter and fluff it. Now find me an up to date and accurate reading of his speed. If it's not nigh on as fast as Gordon I think it's fair to say he doesn't have "Pace to burn". There is a LOT of assumption being passed off as fact in this post. You're assuming that the fees grow steadily with the value of the player, which isn't necessarily true. Kelly isn't a young lad with loads of potential, like Tino or Hall. He's not an established Champions League player like Tonali. He's not a goal scoring attacking midfielder valued at around £40m. He's Lloyd Kelly, a middling 26yr old Centre Back, on a free, from Bournemouth. Kelly being a solid pro is not a good enough reason to keep him around when we can get c£10m for him. I wasn't disrespecting Eddie Howe, I was disrespecting you. He's Jack Colback, Jamall Lascelles, Isaac Hayden. He's not good enough for where we are, let alone where we're aiming to be. He's exactly the kind of player who, if you saw he was starting against Bournemouth you'd suddenly be very concerned. If we can sell him now for £10m, that is the most we're ever going to get for him. And we can bring in a warm body to replace him for less. Maybe a warm body who has the potential to push for a start. Have you not been paying attention? Growing the business side of the club is the only way we can compete on the football side of the club. Selling Kelly makes good business sense and also good football sense. Club seems fixated on Trafford, so we'll possibly seem him join. I agree we need a RCB, and a RW as soon as possible. I agree that Wilson will likely get an extension and I hope Osula improves. So CF isn't a priority for the summer, but lets just say it is. Back up RB will likely be a Krafth/Kelly type player, but it's a want not a need, but again lets say that it is. At most that's 5 players. Since the takeover we've signed 5-6 players each season. Hell, this summer just gone we signed 4 already (not counting Hall) and we were all pretty nonplussed. So in this window, say we sign a goalkeeper, or the backup RB, or maybe even the RW or Centreback we need. That one or more of the 5 areas you insist are priorities. Diego knows his onions. I know my shit.

Schar's reportedly in talks for a new contract and Burn's deal runs out in 2026. Lascelles and Krafth will be moved on, no doubt, but that's a problem for the Summer when we'll need to replace our - check notes- 4th and 5th choice CBs. Kelly absolutely does not have pace to burn, that's just not true. He's not ponderous, but there's no way I'd call him quick. He's 26 and hasn't shown much more promise than Premier League squad player. He's not going to be as good as Schar, let alone Botman. so at best he's going to be a squad player. The £10m pure profit is PSR accounting. That £10m on the books could pay for a much more expensive replacement. He cost us nothing in transfer fees so whatever we sell him for is pure profit. Oh, and there's absolutely no fucking way we paid £6m as a signing/agent fee for Lloyd Kelly. In 23/24 we paid £18.8m on agent fees, when we signed; Tonali, Barnes, Livramento, Minteh, and Hall. There's no way Lloyd Kelly's agent got nearly 32% of their combined outlay. Eddie might like the lad, he may think he's a super cool fun dude, but the lad is fundamentally not a top 6 centre back and if we want to improve the squad, he's exactly the type of player we need to be moving on. Him, Almiron, Longstaff and Dubravka (in the summer).

I don't read the Mail Online. Sorry.

It was supposed to say that "Just like Mrs Guardiola, you were full of Pep last night." The match thread was you at the height of your ebullience.

Late to the party but here's my two-penneth on Kelly (and Almiron). Lloyd Kelly was a free transfer that excited not a soul. He is a warm body and, while he's not going to be on the rumoured £150k per week, he is gobbling up wages while providing not a lot. Botman, Schar and Burn are the three first choice Centre Backs. Krafth and Lascelles can provide a similar level of cover that Kelly can and neither of them would attract anything like an £11m fee. Maybe Alex Murphy is good enough to be 4th (FOURTH) choice Centre back? We also have Hall, Burn, Targett as PL proven left backs, plus Livramento and Trippier who can all fill in at Left back to the same standard as Kelly. So, here's a saleable asset, not vital to our short or long term targets, who isn't going to improve much, and who's attracting interest. Fucking sell him now. If a defender of Lloyd Kelly's ability is the difference between getting Champions League football and not, I'd argue our troubles run a lot deeper than even the most pessimistic cunt could imagine. If we can get c£20m in January for Almiron and Kelly we should absolutely fucking do it. We should have wriggle room due to our caution in the summer, add £20m pure profit to the book in January it should mean we've money to spend now AND money to spend in the summer.

ffffffffahhhhkin Hell Rayvin, just enjoy it man. Worry about the worries another day.

0:04 seconds in and I pause it for laughing out loud. I was going to try and type it out phonetically but... fuck me It's how he says "the long stairs at St James' Park" Absolutely bodies me and I can't get past it. p.s. @Gemmill Just like Mrs Guardiola, you were full of Pep last night weren't you?

Just the midfielders bought/signed during the Dark Ages under Ashley, and their fee in euros.

apropos of absolutely nothing whenever anyone says "Dumbass" my mind immediately goes to Ol' Franky boy.

I think you're about 15hrs behind

Could have saved yourself a lot of hassle and just written this, to be honest.

Eddie can win cups. Then he can win titles.

Hayden was fine for the Championship campaign. I'd put him at the same level as Dummett.

Dan Gosling too.

A one off title challenging season? Not a lot. Key players stay fit, bit more quality in 1 or two positions. Bit of luck. To consistently be a title challenging club? Fucking loads. We need a conveyor belt of talent from the youth teams to provide both depth for the first team squad, and a reliable revenue stream. We need recruitment to consistently find players that can evolve the options we have on match days (so we don't become predictable) without veering too far from the overall identity of the football we play. We need to get the balance right between selling players that are valuable, without selling players that are priceless. We need commercial deals that can give us the freedom to go off and sign the finished article, in that key position we need. We need a manager that has won things, who can instil in the squad a winning mentality. et-fucking-cetera

He's a guaranteed money maker for me. "Ryan Yates 2+ fouls" tacked onto any bet.

They want fucking shooting if they sign him and don't sing Badé Badé Bawoddladye daye, um Badé Badé

All fart nee shite. @Diego21 will back me up.

Off the top of my head, McClen, Brady, Bassedas, Geremi, Dumas, Faye, Hamilton, Pancrate, Georgiadis, Ireland... does Muto count?

I'd 100% get rid of Barnes if the fee was what we paid for him or more. He's a great option from the bench, as has been mentioned, but only in games where the opponent is stretched. If they're happy to cede ground and possession, only really putting us under any pressure when we get 25yds from their goal, well I don't think he can play round an entrenched back line, I don't think he has the alacrity of thought. His trick is unbelievable. Phenomenal finisher, good pace. But it's one trick. Gordon and Murphy (to a lesser degree) have more variety to their game. Shove Barnes and Almiron into a Transmogrification Device and we'd have a helluva a player.

He lists a few things that he think disproves the notion they're a small club; Young talent - plenty of smaller clubs have young talent on the pitch, plenty of big clubs don't. One of their players walking through their shit tip town centre - has no bearing on the 'size' or tinpot-ness of the club 40k league crowds - would be impressive and would point to a bigger club, but they don't get that, now do they? Big signings for the Championship - small(er) clubs can make impressive, surprising deals. Le Fee (I assume they're talking about him) could be an amazing signing, or he could be Aphonso Alves-esque