Offshore Toon

We better not bloody blow this one.

Tottenham and Liverpool.

8.

CHAMPIONSHIP Live - Birmingham v Newcastle Birmingham host Kevin Keegan's Newcastle in a vital match at the bottom of the Premier League. The BBC is just full of jokers.

The sad reality is that Birmingham will very much fancy their chances against us. I haven't been this nervous in a long time.

I thought Ant had replaced Dec for a second, there.

Care to elaborate?

£8m would be a great price. I think MON would turn him into a CM/AMC. I'm pretty sure he played there most of the time in his loan spell at Villa. Scored a fair amount, as well.

Is there any particular reason why your son can't see the difference between the internet and the television? Sounds a tad retarded.

Nice pep talk an'all, but I'm not convinced.

I can't decide whether I love him or hate him.

What do you think of your season so far? Typical. What are your expectations for the rest of the season? Avoid relegation. Was Kevin Keegan everyone's choice to replace Big Sam, if not who would you have preferred? Nope, although everyone who I wanted was probably out of our reach. Who has been your best player/s so far Charlie. and your worst? Smith. Any young up and coming players that have impressed you? Carroll and Kazenga LuaLua. I also can't help but wonder what happened to Edgar. What sort of line up do you expect that'll play against us? Harper, Enrique, Beye, Taylor, Faye, N'Zogbia, Milner, Butt, Smith, Owen, Martins. I also expect Carroll to come off the bench at some point. Which Liverpool player/s do you think will have to be watched in our forthcoming game? Torres, obviously. Gerrard, if he turns up. Any of your players who you think we'll have to watch out for? Not really. What are your memories, if any, of our previous meetings at Anfield? Alonso scoring from about 60 yards, and a lot of defeats. Where do you expect both teams will finish in the league come the end of the season? 4th and 13th. and finally, do you care to predict the score? 4-1.

It'll teach him not to send it around in PMs, although I doubt anyone will bother doing anything.

You've got to laugh, really.

I'm always happy to see Spurs lose. Today is not an exception.

At least Enrique is playing.

At least there won't be any fans to wind us up when we lose.

I'm making this thread because I'd like to know what you (mostly sensible Newcastle fans) think of this lot. I clashed with a "Toon Ultra" on another messageboard, and he couldn't be more of a joke. Here he is: Personally, I think they're giving other fans another reason to laugh at us. I want SJP to be a cauldron of noise as much as anybody else, but there must be more dignified ways of going about it? Also, feel free to abuse that number.

All we need is a Senegalese left-back and all my dreams will have come true.

At least we're being linked with some different players.

That really is quite shocking. It's quite obviously just been plucked out of thin air.

I'd be more than happy for Viduka to leave. I doubt anybody would take him, though.

N'Zogbia. The rest can go.

I've heard rumours that he was the blonde that Cashley bedded.

£12m seems like too much, but I don't doubt Kev's judgement.