JawD

Happy Birthday! Ok, late I know...

Doesnt fancy Cheryl Cole and insists he is straight. Well one of them is a fucking lie!

Joe wanted to buy a motorbike. He doesn't have much luck until one day, he comes across a Harley with a 'for sale' sign on it. The bike seems even better than a new one, although it is 10 years old. It is shiny and in absolute mint condition. He immediately buys it, and asks the seller how he kept it in such great condition for 10 years. 'Well, it's quite simple, really,' says the seller, 'whenever the Bike is outside and it's gonna rain, rub Vaseline on the chrome. It protects it from the rain.' And he hands Joe a jar of Vaseline. That night, his girlfriend, Sandra, invites him over to meet her parents. Naturally, they take the bike there. But just before they enter the house, Sandra stops him and says, 'I have to tell you something about my family before we go in.' 'When we eat dinner, we don't talk. In fact, the first person who Says anything during dinner has to do the dishes.' 'No problem,' he says. And in they go. Joe is shocked. Right smack in the middle of the living room is a Huge stack of dirty dishes. In the kitchen is another huge stack of dishes. Piled up on the stairs, in the corridor, everywhere he looks, dirty dishes. They sit down to dinner and, sure enough, no one says a word. As dinner progresses, Joe decides to take advantage of the situation. So he leans over and kisses Sandra. No one says a word. So he reaches over and fondles her breasts. Still, nobody says a word. So he stands up, grabs her, rips her clothes off, throws her on the table, and screws her right there, in front of her parents. His girlfriend is a little flustered, her dad is obviously livid, and her mom horrified when he sits back down, but no one says a word. He looks at her mom.. 'She's got a great body,' he thinks. So he grabs the mom, bends her over the dinner table, and has his way with her every which way right there on the dinner table. Now his girlfriend is furious and her dad is boiling, but still, Total silence. All of a sudden there is a loud clap of thunder, and it starts to rain. Joe remembers his bike, so he pulls the jar of Vaseline from his pocket... Suddenly the father shouted....'I'll do the fucking dishes!!!

Another decent game. Fling.

Tbf, if I was going through the motions with her, I'd be making noises like I was being murdered as well.

Sounds like Bollocks to me.

Will be Too many broken hearts if he goes there like.

By the time it runs out we will be growing beef steaks out of a petri dish and bring water back from Mars. sorted. Mind, we'll all have two heads and walk sideways.

Happy Birthday

Course there is http://iphoneapplicationlist.com/2008/02/12/touch-911/

Not sure if the point has been made, but what does a man with all the money in the world (so to speak), a fantastic house, wife, child etc want? what can he possibly want? Something he cant or shouldnt have. I certainly dont condone it, though Id love to be in the position to have the dilema. As said though, you make your bed (or someone elses) etc etc

uh oh. Get your popcorn ready. Sky

Im interested to hear how Android handles multi-touch? One of the things I like about the iPhone UI. Oh, and Playstation

Big difference betweem leaving at half time because you think its shite and leaving with 10mins to go every week. I remember last year when I was really puzzled when all of the bus leavers still left 10mins early even when there was no busses on...

Meh. I cant be bothered with any more reports about potential sales of the club.

Happy birthday etc, both ya.

Mobile Tech Addicts

Frigging Swansea Was Peterborough man ffs.

Lazy fucker. He has 1 outstanding game in 10. Some excellent set peices and could whip in a cracking ball. But would he fuck work for the team.

Stick it into iTunes and it will tell you if there is a firmware update available for your phone

JawD - Swansea & Rochdale

I prefer dogs to cats but own neither, people who own "hard dogs" are just as big a wank as you in my view. Small cock syndrome. Why would you want to own a hard dog? Unless you lived in Liverpool under fear of burglary? There's some great dogs like black labradors, them ginger ones, and boxers, so why would you want a doberman or a Rottweiler, unless you're a German war history enthusiast? Agree there like. Ive only ever had dogs. Labs are great family pets and the last two I had (border terriers) were excellent dogs. Any time I see someone walking a pitbull type dog I just think "Twat".

By the way, for the new iPhone users, you may not know but if you are viewing a list (contacts, sms list etc) you can tap the top of the screen (where the time is) to jump to the top of the list (instead of scrolling).