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Monkeys Fist

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Everything posted by Monkeys Fist

  1. Monkeys Fist

    1998

    "...and then I woke up and here I was in 2011 on the internet!" heh heh cunterhead lol
  2. Doesn't surprise me, always thought you were a thoroughly decent chap
  3. Who's there? Dunnap Which is about as exciting as it got today.
  4. Two pints of lager and a packet of crisps please. Or The Chicken Song
  5. Monkeys Fist

    1998

    Just asked Mrs. Fist what else we did in 1998- silly me… … we got married.
  6. Monkeys Fist

    1998

    My 30th birthday was on the day of the France-Brazil WC final. Got absolutely spackered in the Forth, supporting France as I'd not long moved back from living there. Lived in Lonsdale Tce, Jesmond, and was cheffing.
  7. The Ski Sunday? That's how you might stand to have a shit in a field. Not how you should be wiping your arse in a toilet. I genuinely believe that you lot just haven't graduated from doing this stuff as part of potty training. Several years of French "Holes in the ground" shitters have honed my Ninja wipe to perfection. I assume if you sitters had to shit outdoors, you'd use the Canine Arse Drag ?
  8. So as you stand up, a trickle of liquidated shit dribbles down your scrote and tails off on the shaft unnoticed? Nowt liquid about my dung. Eat more fibre matey. Sitty Downers = Squirters.
  9. See, I adopt a "crouching Tiger" stance. The feet stay firmly planted, butt parts company with bog seat, but the all important cheek separation is maintained by the Ninja stance.
  10. What's your exact method Gemmill, do you go betwixt the legs, frontally, or is it a rear approach?
  11. is it racist too ? The Jocks aren't a race, more an evolutionary mistake.
  12. I meant Jan, but if HF wants to go Jap, fill yer boots.
  13. I want to know what Jan was doing hanging round an overgrown graveyard? Clearly not looking for stiffs.
  14. fuck me! I'll keep an eye out for the Bush Meat Butchers stall.
  15. Yo , Who is you calling blud, you jive assed,cracker bitch? Don' make me come ova there...
  16. Might nip in myself tomorrow if I get a flyer. You've got me hankering for dead marsupial.
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