Monkeys Fist

I should have it as my avatar tbh.

Just how I like em

Shove it up your arse Topical, I suppose. You took that well… Fnarr Fnarr gak.

Recipe? Follow any basic lentil soup recipie from the web (I use red and spring onions instead of normal). Brown onions, garlic and ginger in a pan before addign veg stock, lentils, crushed toms and a couple of tablespoons of barley cook for approx 35-40min. Judge the water yourself obviously depending on amount of lentils. I add haricot beans (the white ones canned is easiest). About 10 min before the end I add micro diced streaky bacon that I've fried off seperately and a good handful of hand chopped fresh corriander (for zing). Add single cream when serving to taste. Welcome to the palace of the gods. Nice!! Pyramid of the Gods, Shirley?

Happy Birthday sir. Have a nice sit down.

Recipe?

Thith thumth up my feelingth towardth Jamie. Cracking bait, but twat. Twat twat twat. And he fucking slathers everything in olive oil.

Wtf? They had their noses up their foreskins? Mein Gott!

I predict an adolescent outrage later.

There was some hoo ha here in Germany as the blokes all sit down to piss the fekin girls that they are....I refuse to sit. When we visit Mrs P's parents I can feel them listening outside for the trickle of a standing pisser. Would have thought natural selection would have done for the sit down wipers...Slow to react to the approaching mountain lion and so on.. It cost them the War. Whereas the Wehrmacht required suitable squatting stations for pissing and wiping thereby slowing their advance (and retreat), the Tommies could just " piss & go".… assuming they didn't trip over their massive floppy foreskins.

That sounds lush tbh.

How did " Kevin sausage jockey" do in the ratings ?

Stand up/ nose breather. Ner ner

The sit-down pisser's excuses are as bad as the sit-down wipers. And some of the foreskins here must be baggier than Sticky Vicky's gammons if they force you to sit down to avoid a golden shower.

Yes, thats right *starts car, bent double* Apparently you only ever breathe through one nostril at a time. ( those of us at the higher end of the evolutionary ladder ) http://www.samizdat.li/2009/03/random-fact-of-day-you-only-breathe.html And when I'm standing up to wipe, neither, bad stink.

True, except we say them the right way, they don't.

No excuses. Prepare yourself.

If any bloke on here admits to sitting down to piss, I will hunt them down and mercilessly laugh and point at them.

Aye, so ye have , to be sure, so it is. At all at all. Bejaysus. Begorrah.

Tuscan bean soup. http://www.bbc.co.uk/food/recipes/tuscanbeansoup_82379 I've made it with canned beans and it's fine.

Shit Geordie accents on telly- Michael McIntyre being the prime, murderous rage inducing example.

He should've left the "in Cider" bit off.

This is how Ray Mears does it. http://www.thespeciousreport.com/2007/v704b_one_sheet.html And he stands proudly whilst he " does the digit"

I meant inspecting your turds, not the resulting artwork on the paper.

Aye, it'll start in Pallion though. Rapists, drive-by shootings, assaulting cripples, incest. It's made for it tbh.