Monkeys Fist

Everything you ever wanted to know about farts. *poot*

cheers one and all. Ironically I just picked up a hire car today from Europa and their big thing was that their petrol was cheaper than getting from a petrol station! I guess you're buying a whole tank though, so make sure you're going to use at least that much. Should do, driving from London to Newcastle. Got a stack of Xmas presents to take up and a load of awkward sized crap to bring back down (Signed Newcastle shirt in frame etc.) Doubt I'll need a car to bring down ASDA vouchers mind Use them to fill up… … and get a diesel man.

Fist is still at it as I recall. I've bred two who are immune as well.

Been rumours in the Barney household of putting the 2girls into the same bedroom thus giving me back my box room/nerd chamber. Seems to good to be true...must be a trap. It is. She's after a third and is making room!

I hear C. Ronaldildo isn't happy. Loan move in January?

Was it sunny?

Bloke: What's the weather forecast Ken? Ken: *grnnngh* Shitty.

Dude. They're fucked up, they're a bloke who dress up as lady! Doesn't mean you've got to let your standards slip. Unless there's an unwritten rule you've got to dress like the lass from Aqua. If that's the case, I reckon the lass behind he/she is sporting 'meat & two' as well.

Thanks for that Father Kevin. Now back to your prayers for the choirboys.

It's bang out of order to let a 5 yr old go through that. Making him sit in dirty pants all afternoon, with a shit parcel in his bag, is almost as bad as not letting him go in the first place ( especially since he asked twice!). I'm not a one for shouting for people's heads, but I'd be making a huge fuss about this mate. Why weren't you told he had dirty pants on? Why weren't you told his soiled pants were in his bag? Why wasn't he allowed to go after asking twice? Why didn't another member of staff step in and clean the poor lad up? Give em some ice cold fury. Btw, take notes in your meeting with the Head Teacher. It'll keep you calmer, and they FUCKING HATE IT!

http://www.readytogo.net/smb/showthread.ph...2112&page=3 Looks like they've locked the thread, but not before this pearler was posted…

Stray balls in the box - bane of his life.

All hail the Prophet Al Dente! Pastafari

http://en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/Feral_children Fails to mention the Pig Boy of Derry. Struggles with normal human interraction, pig shit thick, eats garbage.

One for Gejon

I've used Enterprise in the past. They'll deliver the car and pick it up from your gaff at the end. Pretty reasonable prices. http://www.enterprise.co.uk/car_rental/home.do Ask for a diesel btw.

Americy should crash a plane into it with " How D'you Like Them Apples?" written on the side.

First they came for Paul Wynn and I didn't speak out because I wasn't a fat paedo Then they came for Deano and I didn't speak out because I wasn't a billionaire gardener charity thief Then they came for the minge obsessed tit freaks and there was no one left to speak out for me. No one is safe

An American Senator who is facing charges of sexually abusing male youths. His name is R. Soles Jr. Wikiclicky

Comic for J69

yersh

Sean Connery did some DIY at my house recently, but the wooden plank on brackets was not horizontal. When I told him it wasn't good enough he said "I'm ashamed of my shelf".

I've got a 4 yr old and 1 yr old. The simple answer is yes, you will be permafucked for the next 6 years at least. Routines work well- bath, warm milk, story and bed. No matter how early/late mine go to bed, they're up and bouncing off the walls by 6.30am at the latest. We don't let the youngest nap after 2pm, otherwise the little shite gets a second wind at about 7pm. It'll all be worth it in about 25 years when they become real people

Best of luck mate. Hope it goes well for you.