Monkeys Fist

Lape?

No need. Perfect nip. I have also surfed a Canadian canoe on a rapid wave, by moonlight, stoned and nekkid. Which was nice.

I have taken a shit over the edge of a 1000ft cliff and watched it all the way down. Fascinating.

Happy Birthday chap.

The worst thing was it was her first night of a fortnight holiday. The temptation to make fart noises when she walked past was too much, and by the end she was a bit jumpy to say the least.

Giggling like a bairn now.

A lad I worked with on the Med had a 24 hr bender and ended up pulling a tourist lass. We were just getting up when we saw him dash out of his tent at 7am, running kind of awkwardly and holding his hands away from himself. After a quick visit to the shower block, back he came, ducked back into his tent, then seconds later we hear him shouting at the poor lass " You filthy cow! Look at the mess, get out you skank" ( or words to that effect). That night we quizzed him, he'd woken up, realised he'd shit the bed, saw this lass comatose next to him so rolled her in it and hoyed a bit round her stinker. A quick shower, back in to bed , then woke her up outraged at the mess " she" had made of his bed. Once we'd stopped laughing we all agreed he was an utter twat.

Only you …

Acknowledged.

She told me this months ago CT.

Coming soon to select Lancashire towns

"Lape! Lape!" Sorry Charvski, it had to be done.

Brace yourself Sheila.

Clicky Have it !

Taxi rank?

Upside- expect to finish the current job a day early, which means an opportunity for a paid session on the peeve presents itself. Downside- it's in Liverpool.

I refuse to acknowledge this thread until Geordio Armani says cunt.

This season, I are mostly wearing a pissed off look and a binbag.

Happy Birthday chaps.

Aye, ya geet right there Marra, Cush. Tappy lappy. An that. …Oh aye, broon ale

Denzil likes bum & blurt ?????

Doesn't. This one showed up on my Mackem radar a good while ago.