Monkeys Fist

Any mentalists going in just now have hit pay-dirt. Chaz, Anne, Nonce and Whossname are all stood vigilling. I expect there’ll be some involuntary emissions from the flag shaggers.

I wonder if anyone has rang Cliff Richard and told him there’s a bit of rain due overnight? If it’s good enough for Wimbledon, it’s good enough for The Queueen.

Pussycat Pussycat Where have you been? “I’ve been to London to see the dead Queen” Pussycat Pussycat What did you there? “ I waited 24 fucking hours with a bunch of brain dead cunts… meow”

I think perhaps we should consider making it a permanent thing, so that tourists can take part, which would also serve to educate them on British Queue Culture.

But not more gram flour…

Following the fireball the other day , my nephew was on Radio Newcastle discussing it https://www.bbc.co.uk/sounds/play/p0cvkl08?partner=uk.co.bbc&origin=share-mobile Starts at 2:40:00 with a Duran Duran song halfway through.

They should have Sean Lock’s corpse with a carrot.

Aye, either they’re searching for some kind beacon of hope in this meaningless existence, or they’re thick as whale spunk and do what the Mail/Sun tells them. I doubt it’s the first.

Will there be a new queue to join The Queue? ( also, what a very bizarre word queue is).

“ Do the Weeyble”.

I’m surprised tooner hasn’t apologised yet, tbh.

Yvon Chouinard, the owner of the Patagonia company, inventor of climbing kit and all round top chap, has given the company away. Patagonia: Billionaire boss gives fashion firm away to fight climate change https://www.bbc.co.uk/news/business-62906853

I now picture you as Martin Goodman, bumbling about the house with your shirt off because “it’s boiling!”, and coming out with gems of wisdom.

Every few days I hide Mrs. F’s toothbrush somewhere in the bathroom. It’s the little things that make a marriage.

Eltoned YP

One down, two to go. ( poor fucker took a faceplant off the step).

Years of flinging them up Camilla’s horse-mouth* did that. Acid burns. Sorry… sorry * Queen Consort Camilla’s gash.

It’s the anticipation. You know that at some point, Elton John is going to fucking murder something from his back catalogue, you just don’t know when. Draining, tbh.

Was it a Three Star jumper and Bags?

Just lock all the toilets- they’ll self-detonate.

Predominantly older and/or right of centre folks, not really sure what it’s all about but the papers say they should do it. “ It’s about sovereignty…” This is Quexit, and I can’t wait for them to get it done.

So, the fat right German AfD party were campaigning in Lower Saxony, and decided to have gummi sweets made in the shape of their logo. Didn’t quite go to plan…

I’ve invited all the neighbours round for PLANTY JOOBS, but they don’t seem too keen. There’s BBQ, beers, live stream of the grave, song sheets for the singalong, full works, but no RSVPs back yet.

God. Imagine being an Aussie and a mackem. Brutal.