Monkeys Fist

Well, that’s a bummer.

I have say, and I don’t say this lightly, but I’m disappointed in you. I was expecting one of the fat trolls from your Penshaw Monument pics, but instead we’ve just got mackem David Brent (who, granted , looks authentic as he’s baffled by cutlery). 5/7.

Fingerblast or Beanflickery?

I doubt I’ll find it.

This one?

Get yer sou’wester on, she wants to call in to Peover on the way back.

Let me guess- he’s from Wideopen?

@Howmanheyman- how’s the eyesight these days?

Me and Mrs. F. are having a filthy weekend away at Fingringhoe. We might stop at Clitheroe on the way.

Soz. I feel a bit deflated now, tbh.

Ironic that the most famous baked goods advert ever is on a street originally built by some royal lad who burnt cakes.

I won’t go in to detail, but it was a blind lad that invented the first Scratch and Sniff cards.

Ok Stoner.

I’ll just add that the real reason the uk housing market is fucked is thanks to Margaret Thatcher, who was from Generation Cunt.

You’ve got a cheek, mind Fish.

Rumours going round that he was tyred of life.

Oh, it will be, give it a day or two until his dad sobers up.

You know when you’d put your shoes on your knees as a kid and pretend to be a dwarf…

On the phone to cock-eyed Mala asking him how many fridge packs of Fosters he wanted shoplifting?

I’m utterly convinced that there’s a secret selection process at the end of training where they put the sexy wenches in to the most embarrassing department’s and the plain Jane’s and boilers get put in the dept’s where you can keep your dignity. “ Oh, Mr. PL, your face looks like a badly topped meat feast pizza, and I see you need a prostate exam too? Follow Nurse Trixie Fox and she’ll utterly destroy any self esteem you once had. “ You need a foot x-Ray? Gunhilde here will be glad to take care of you, just try not to look at her face for too long.”

X-Ray booked tomorrow for yay/nay on a new hip. I’ll be taking along £25 and asking if they can sort me out with a bit of medicinal green, too.

Black mam, White mam in a hijab, Chinese bairn- Gammon bingo house!