Monkeys Fist

Kamagra?

ISAK!!!!!! @sobonthetyne

He’s a day late.

He’ll be getting chinned this ebening.

Is there something in the water in the Lakes?

You know that kind of drunk where you’re still relatively compis mentis but from the thighs down you’re absolutely bladdered? Aye, well… that. Mrs. and I have just attempted to clean up the post dinner detritus and had to stop several times due to pissing ourselves laughing at our inability to function from the waist down. Festive rattle is postponed

Mrs. F. discovered Baby Guinness ( a double shot of Tia Maria with a shot of Bailey’s on top), on her Christmas night out with her mates, so they’ve been dished out like sweets since 11:00 this morning. Dinner is delayed by half an hour * I’m well on the way to being mildly befuddled.

Here’s hoping all your Fig and Sprout Rings turn out like Fannys.

We must be heard over the Shit Spelunkers!

On The Beach…

Merry Christmas lads! 2 hours from home, can’t wait. Looking forward to tomorrow, big old meal with the families then too much wine spread over the afternoon/evening. Speaking of fingers up arseholes, I’m looking forward to my Boxing Day turd being denser than a Neutron Star, and the glorious feeling of emptiness that follows it… briefly, as I’ll be hitting the drinks fridge and whatever scran is left over. Might even make some proper deep-fried chips! Have a good one you magnificent bastards!

I’m using this shift as my last opportunity to not listen to a single fucking Christmas song Eight hour playlist of Laid Back Grooves man… https://music.apple.com/gb/playlist/laid-back-grooves/pl.u-76oNNX3IWBeo2J

I’ve woken up Thurrock services. On the road in half an hour, hopefully home by 11-ish. Merry Christmas lads! 👍

Let’s just wait and see, aye. 😉

Hope all goes well with your old man KD. Your little ‘un will undoubtedly cheer your folks up on Christmas Day, too.

Please, can we use his proper title?

Dyp

Nowt worse than running out of shit paper, tbh.

Oh, forgot… 5-0

“Let’s see how things are going in the Villa dressing room, Jim”… “ Ok, thanks Jim. “