Monkeys Fist

I pulled the intercostal muscles under my left tit the other day whilst digging out a new patio area in my garden. Random movements produce a feeling like someone has stuck a molten iron rod through my chest. I’m due to start my 4 day driving shift tonight too

My old man had a mixed history when it came to cars- he owned, at various times, a Triumph TR6, several Minis, a Saab 69, Ford Anglia, Lancia Beta, but he fucked it big time by buying not one, but two Austin Allegros.

Mrs. Gloom after nearly a week of “Royalty”…

Adam Pearson; Toonpack, if I tried to say the v-word, you’d drown and my tongue would strangle itself. Let’s say you had a jab, yeah?

Q;What does her minge smell like? A; Herbie.

Shift manager at Nissan gave it the thumbs up, so Plod was happy.

That’s a bit low- do you not think they’ve suffered enough?

5-0 A double hat trick from the Handsome Chook, with a bit of badge kissing to send the Scouse mackems home to their hovels in fighting mood. Extra-time winner from Ollie Bernard

If the Wimbledon fans don’t pick up all their litter at the end of the match there’s going to be hell on.

You’re not taking in to account that we’ll need a new Trophy Wing…

I think my old man took us to Washington when he went to the old hall? It clearly made a lasting impression

I aim for the little cunts.

He’d have to find a disabled good buddy to drive for him though.

“Mr. Fist , the tests show you have a degenerative neurological disease “ “Shit Doc, I only came in to have my prostate tickled. “ ” Don’t worry, it’s one of the good ones”

Give him a break- he’s had to attend his Coronation … … I think that’s what he meant when he said, ” Fuck me , I’m crowning! “

Nah, he’s immortal- he just flounced.

Thanks for reading my post.… …You heard it here first

Fyp

Btw, are we accepting that essembee has carked it?

Alreet Dr. Barlow

He’s got as much right to be King as the real one tbh.

I can recommend a great elocution tutor if you make the move- Tadger Armstrong, lives in Percy Main. Mrs. W. is a Scab, isn’t she? No worries- much like Callum, he does couples too.