Monkeys Fist

Lest we forget

Some radgepacket Vikings killed the top dog in Northumberland by cutting his ribs away from his spine, pulling his lungs out of the resulting hole-the blood eagle* * which in all probability, didn’t ever happen.

Aye, wor Aethel was Guthrum before he became a Jesus freak.

One burnt cakes, the other burnt Kent.

Proper edgy. I bet he’s pro-Aethelstan and anti-Alfred.

I can even afford to go on holiday without me Mam.

To be sure, to be sure, so it is.

He should be Canadian.

If you read this with a Brummie accent in mind, it sounds even fucking dumber.

He is from the Midlands

I’ll tell you what, the quality of WUMs these days is piss poor. You could spot spot this one a mile off, and his patter is rancid.

And you’re out of work at the moment. Its subsidised.

Dense Blurt.

How much you got left on it?

We’ve got 2 in a very small city though- concentrated minge.

Out of interest, how much is your mortgage down there?

As far as I can tell, he’s genuine. ( Yes Space Cadet, we know all about your sordid real life ).

That seagull changed you, man.

Plenty O’Toole washing her arse.

For fucks sake man!

The sun is out, I’m having a cheeky pint, time to post some Bond Girls. Here’s Claudine Auger from Thunderball. Have at it, gents.