Monkeys Fist

“ Thread Slayer” His ability to empty a room meant he single-handedly closed Vaux Brewery.

You’ll have to explain that to him, he’s not a military man.

“Pance”

https://twitter.com/tfnufc/status/1082747942702845955

The lads don’t look too upset mind…

This had me confused momentarily.

She’s usually busy doing her homework.

“This kiddie diddler went to market, This kiddie diddler stayed home This kiddie diddler had cheesy chips This kiddie diddler had none This kiddie diddler had extra fingers So did this one And this kiddie diddler wants to play for them again, when he gets home. “

Is that a dig, or are they just saying how many of them bothered to turn up?

Not the first Mackems to get overexcited watching kids play with balls, are they?

Can’t really blame our lads for being behind… … it’s way past their bedtime.

Ffs! Manky bastards.

Pandon Burn Ouseburn Lort Burn. All Newcastle streams. Anyone got any more?

For those who’ve never been to the SOS, I’ve marked the toilets with a cross. Bit drafty.

ET Goatse… ok then.

FYP

The cringe is huge in this article https://www.nzherald.co.nz/sport/news/article.cfm?c_id=4&objectid=12186563 Longpins 1 does, however, deliver a hoof to the knackers. “But the sex wasn't brilliant. I had a lucky escape.”

I thought he was still at Portland Artisanal Manbun Rovers. Wasn’t he double-dipping there, too?

FYP

“Friends of Aslan”

What a pack of wankers. Its not as if there’s any meat in the normal ones anyway

“ What’s his agent’s address Stewart? My mate Adam just wants to go round and shit on his garden bench”.

Aye, South end of Bassenthwaite is officially only a “kick in the arse” away from Keswick. You’re not far from Newlands Valley, which is a really nice part of the area. Cockermouth, in the other direction, is home to Jennings Brewery, if you need a wet weather alternative.

FYP