Bombadil

Joe wanted to buy a motorbike. He doesn't have much luck until, one day; he comes across a Harley with a 'For Sale' sign on it. The bike seems even better than a new one, although it is 10 years old. It is shiny and in absolute mint condition. He immediately buys it, and asks the seller how he kept it in such great condition for 10 years. "Well, it's quite simple, really," says the seller, "whenever the bike is outside and it's going to rain, rub Vaseline on the chrome. It protects it from the rain." And he hands Joe a jar of Vaseline. That night, his girlfriend, Sandra, invites him over to meet her parents. Naturally, they take the bike there. But just before they enter the house, Sandra stops him and says, "I have to tell you something about my family before we go in." "When we eat dinner, we don't talk. In fact, the first person who says anything during dinner has to do the dishes." "No problem," he says. And in they go. Joe is shocked. Right smack in the middle of the living room is a huge stack of dirty dishes. In the kitchen is another huge stack of dishes. Piled up on the stairs, in the corridor, everywhere he looks, dirty dishes. They sit down to dinner and, sure enough, no one says a word. As dinner progresses, Joe decides to take advantage of the situation. So he leans over and kisses Sandra. No one says a word. So he reaches over and fondles her breasts. Still, nobody says a word. So he stands up, grabs her, rips her clothes off, throws her on the table, and screws her right there, in front of her parents. His girlfriend is a little flustered, her dad is obviously livid, and her mom horrified when he sits back down, but no one says a word. He looks at her mom. "She's got a great body," he thinks. So he grabs the mom, bends her over the dinner table, and has his way with her every which way right there on the dinner table. Now his girlfriend is furious and her dad is boiling, but still, total silence. All of a sudden there is a loud clap of thunder, and it starts to rain. Joe remembers his bike, so he pulls the jar of Vaseline from his pocket. Suddenly the father backs away from the table and shouts, "All right, that's enough, I'll do the f*cking dishes!"

I can only think the reason that Baba and Carr haven't gone is because they would need a sizeable payoff due to length of contract, lets just hope they are sold or contracts mutually terminated asap. It would also leave us with no recognised and PL experienced full backs. Aye, I know they've both been shit, but I would think the club would try and bring in a couple of half decent full backs before letting either go. Due to money problems we might be stuck with them as back up in the short term. i would think they would be replaced quite easily, lets face it we couldnt possibly buy any worse. Especially considering their outrageous wages. £40,000 a week for Babayaro, was it? Carr is probably on a decent wedge too. Fucking wasters.

He's different from Dyer in that he's fairly tall and stronger. He's also played in defensive midfield this season. Had a bit of bother with his knee in the past IIRC.

creative enough to supply the kind of ball that would keep both Martins and Owen happy? I'd say his main strength is running at the opposition with the ball at his feet. He's quite strong and quick, works hard and is quite versatile. It looks like he's on his way this summer, Dortmund were interested in him in January. It may be a bit too early for him though, it's a big step up for a Swiss player to play abroad.

As it happens, I went to see Basel vs. Sion last night. Gelson had a quiet game, but Sion were generally poor and didn't really create anything. I'm not sure about him, when he's on form he's creative, but he doesn't score many. He's had a decent season, but there are about five or six other Swiss players that I'd prefer over him.

I'd take Senderos in a shot.

I was thinking the same thing. Butt as well.

Oh fuck off and stop embarrassing yourself.

I really don't think Souness is a good manager - he is a dinosaur, a bully and he admitted himself he wasn't even interested in the modern aspects of management. The fact that he was a complete failure wasn't accidental - he was bound to fail from day one. I don't think he'll get another job at a Premier League club again, which sums him and his outdated methods up perfectly. Roeder probably knows more about modern management than Souness, at least in theory. His problem is that he has no charisma and authority whatsoever. Do you think Roeder will ever manage in the Premiership again? I don't know, probably not. I guess he's more likely to do so than Souness though.

BBC Sport Online chief football writer BBC Sport Online chief Liverpool fan, more like.

24, and I have a licence.

He's not talking about Dyer, Owen or Parker tbh. He's talking about N'Zogbia, Luque and Babayaro. Agreed, I don't understand why Parker gets so much stick. He may not be as good as we all thought he'd be, but I don't think there are questions about his commitment. I guess Butt meant Carr as well.

I really don't think Souness is a good manager - he is a dinosaur, a bully and he admitted himself he wasn't even interested in the modern aspects of management. The fact that he was a complete failure wasn't accidental - he was bound to fail from day one. I don't think he'll get another job at a Premier League club again, which sums him and his outdated methods up perfectly. Roeder probably knows more about modern management than Souness, at least in theory. His problem is that he has no charisma and authority whatsoever.

If he can genuinely do this: then the team will have effectively got a huge "free" boost and I could even see something better than mid table next year. Glenn Roeder never talked about injuries tbh.

Yes.

Souness and Roeder both said a lot right things (at the start) - so like every other manager Allardyce needs to be judged by actions, not by intentions. Souness started coming out with shit about "proper players", "trenches" and "lady luck" right from day one. I'm really optimistic now, should be an interesting summer. Funny how that wanker Oliver keeps stressing that Allardyce is "not everybody's cup of tea" - he didn't mention a thing when Souness and Roeder were appointed. Souness did a nice interview with Radio Newcastle after a few weeks. Shame I couldn't fulfil even one of his false promises. True, I'd forgotten about that. I'll never forget his bum chum Hansen's "humble pie" article though.

Souness. No competition whatsoever.

Souness and Roeder both said a lot right things (at the start) - so like every other manager Allardyce needs to be judged by actions, not by intentions. Souness started coming out with shit about "proper players", "trenches" and "lady luck" right from day one. I'm really optimistic now, should be an interesting summer. Funny how that wanker Oliver keeps stressing that Allardyce is "not everybody's cup of tea" - he didn't mention a thing when Souness and Roeder were appointed.

He was never really any good though, was he? He only lasted that long because the media went completely over the top after he won his first few games and had a decent start to his first season. Oh, and because he came up with one or two nice quotes after every match. PEARCE FOR ENGLAND OMMG!11LOL1

Agreed - he will be the only major striker around who's not cup-tied for Europe.

I imagine they will at least try to speak to Allardyce about it. Come on, Fat Fred, get him signed up.

That's a strange one. I guess he won't last long.

Oliver is loving it.

I agree. It's terrible, but the media have gone completely hysterical. I've stopped reading when I see any mention of it.