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Well, might as well be. from .co.uk - http://www.nufc.co.uk/articles/20130301/club-statement-nile-ranger_2281670_3094148 Fucking waste of space that lad is.

Who do you reckon we'll sell, and how much will we get for them? de Jong - £5m Saivet - £3m Riviere - £1.5m Satka - £0 Toney - £0.5m Armstrong? - £1.5m Vuckic - £0.25m ------- Sels - £4m Haidara - £1m Gamez -£0m Good - £0m Hanley? - £3m Colback - £4m Anita - £0m Ameobi - £3m Gouffran - £0m Aarons? - £1m Murphy - £1m transfermarkt puts their respective market values as above. I've adjusted a few because of their age, contract status or performances (all negatively). Returns about £28m None of them are first team, and few should even get in the squad. That'd do, right?

Keeps calling Karl Henry Kalvin, going on about him playing the big un. Entertaining as always.

Newcastle United have completed the signing of striker Dwight Gayle from Crystal Palace Newcastle United have completed the signing of Dwight Gayle from Crystal Palace. The 25-year-old striker arrives at St. James' Park for an undisclosed fee and has put pen to paper on a five-year deal. Gayle began his professional career at Dagenham & Redbridge and spent time on loan at Bishop's Stortford and Peterborough United before joining the latter permanently in January 2013. However, just six months later Palace made their move for the front man in a then-club record switch, and Gayle spent three seasons at Selhurst Park, finishing as the Eagles' top scorer in each of them and featuring in the 2016 FA Cup final at Wembley. "It's a dream come true to be at a big club like this," said Gayle. "Newcastle has a massive fan base and a great history so it is amazing to be here. "I can't wait to get started, prove myself and score the goals that take us back up to the Premier League. It's where this Club belongs." Newcastle United manager Rafa Benitez added: "Dwight is a great player, a proven goalscorer, and it is fantastic news that he has joined us. "He has a big personality, a lot of energy and pace. He is a good finisher also, so he will add goals to our squad, for sure. "He knows English football well, too, and that is important in the Championship. "I am sure Dwight will want to prove he can make a big difference to our team and I am looking forward to working with him." Welcome to Newcastle!

Two of the great players of my lifetime. Who was the greatest?

http://www.themag.co.uk/2017/03/daryl-murphy-calf-injury-confirmed-scan-newcastle-united/ This could be a big blow to us with Gayle not yet up to speed & Murphy the preferred option over Mitrovic let's hope the scan doesn't show reveal anything serious.

Midfielder Mohamed Diame has become Newcastle United's latest arrival, after signing from Hull City for an undisclosed fee. The 29-year-old Senegal international has agreed a three-year deal at the Club and becomes the eighth player to join the Magpies' first team squad this summer. Diame began his career with French side Lens, before moving to Spain, where he turned out for Linares and Rayo Vallecano. He joined Wigan Athletic in August 2009 and has spent the last seven years in England, turning out for the Latics, West Ham United and Hull City. Last season he scored the only goal in the Championship play-off final at Wembley, as the Tigers booked their place back in the Premier League. At international level, Diame has won 28 caps since making his senior debut in March 2011, and featured for his country at the 2012 Olympics. "It is a great feeling to be a Newcastle player," he said. "Everybody close to me knows how desperate I am to play in the Premier League again, but when Newcastle comes in for you it makes you think. "I am looking to the future. Newcastle is a big name, a massive club and will be back in the Premier League, for sure." Newcastle United manager Rafa Benitez added: "Mohamed is a strong, attack-minded player with a lot of fight and determination to his game. "He is also someone who will provide the team with goals and assists from midfield. "He has good experience of the Championship and the fight needed to win promotion, which will be important for us." Welcome to Newcastle!

Usually a player gets their own thread months before he signs!!!! We must be slipping Anyway, heard a few people on the radio today who have followed his football and reckon we are getting a really top notch player at a steal. Talking in similar terms to Cabaye in regard to what an excellent signing he will be for us. If Cabaye misses tomorrow I wonder whether is viable to start him given he may not even have trained with our players. Probably not.

Passed his medical and set to be confirmed tonight, by all accounts. 24 year old keeper which suggests Krul is away, possibly to Everton, possibly to learn how to make saves with his right hand, who knows?

As usual I know nowt about our latest signing but I must say I like the look of his you tube compilation. Now I know anyone can look decent in a few minutes of highlights, but I particularly like the many different type of goals he scores. The flicks, the round the keeper, the power shot, the dribble and score, the poacher. Now I'm sure given his age and lukewarm reception he's probably in the donkey category, but I am actually excited to see him play http://youtu.be/LvA6nErcnD8

He finally signed: Got lost in all the Sissoko news. Don't really know much about the bloke other then seeing a canny goal from him at the ACoN, hopefully he does well since Aarons is out for a while.

I know Forster's just went out on loan, but I reckon Harper will be off as well. Harper's not injured either. A lad from work is best mates with Derek Wright's son, and he told him he was just left out of the squad on Saturday.

Im exactly the same as the fans at the minute - Im one of them. I pay for my ticket and Im the same. I am entitled to my opinion. It hasnt been pleasant watching to be honest. Its been poor. With Newcastle in the bottom three going into the dark evenings Shearer feels that the problems at United havent just unfolded overnight. He said: It has been poor since January this year, The quicker we can get out of it the better. But he feels a tough scrap against relegation could lie ahead. He said: I dont hold too much hope for us this season. I think it could be a long hard season for us. Pardew will prepare his players for another crunch fixture on Saturday against Leicester amidst a backdrop of pressure with sections of the Toon Army still on his back. Now Shearer believes there can be no excuses going into the battle with former Newcastle coach Nigel Pearsons newly promoted Foxes. Shearer said: Nobody can make any excuses. The simple fact is we havent been good enough. You can make whatever excuses you want. Injuries, too many games or confidence. Put all of that to one side, the simple fact of the matter is we just have not been good enough. We havent been unlucky. We havent been ravaged by injuries. We havent been done by dodgy decisions. We just havent been good enough. Its simple. Thats the harsh reality of it. Things have to improve and they have to improve pretty quickly or we could find ourselves in a hole.

http://news.bbc.co.uk/sport1/hi/football/t...ugh/6595395.stm An absolute steal if he can stay fit.

Bit of insight into what Blackburn fans think of him http://www.brfcc.com/mb/index.php/topic/31201-grant-hanley/page-1

Next in apparently. 31 and can play both full back positions. Makes sense, would allow Dummet to move inside. Would need to hit the ground running at the age however Stevie will be happy

Can anyone help me to identify the following autographs? Any help greatly appreciated, the ball (yellow background) is from somewhere between 1999-2001, and the shirt is the 2006-07 third shirt Thanks in advance

Just seen this. Gazza advert for Umbro for the Euro's, man he is fucked.

sad to see gascoigne on piers morgan show last night - constantly on the verge of tears - totally fked up in the head but seemingly on the mend

Yep Gazza will be the new boss of Garforth town, slap some cash on it

I'm black and white through and through. That will never change no matter what league we're in and will still keep turning up to St. James Park. But the Keegan trials and tribulations need to be spoken about from as neutral as possible. And I do not believe that he cares about the club as much as you or I would like to think. But from the figure that he wanted from the court case, had he got it, could of potentially spoilt any takeover and put the club into administration. I was asked whether I thought Keegan would take the money if it would put us into admin, and my answer is yes! I understand that the agreement was not met on Ashleys side, but if he loved the club why sue? I was also asked by a fellow magpies fan what should of happened with the money if he loved the club? He said that why didnt he donate it to the academy, or training facilities. Also why not hold on to it until new owners and then donate it to the club? Simple, he doesnt love us as much as we love him. And the fans need to stop treating the Kevs and Shearers as gods. Now to the legend No. 9, Shearer. Loved him as a player, loved and still love his dedication to the Toon, but he should not manage the club (at least not yet). He is not mature enough as a 'manager' to take charge. Bellamy was sold because Shearer didnt like him and refused to play alongside of him. Look at him now, one of the next best things we had after Shearer and look what he is still doing. And also the way he treated Joey Barton when he was in charge end last season. If he doesnt like the player, he would get rid. But Barton in this case is one of the harder working players we have, plenty of skill and great vision. Never mind the off pitch antics and the attitude, I think he needs to play, period. Shearer only has the experience of playing, and the respect from the players and fans, but no experience of managing a team at all. All you have to do is look at Southgate and Keane. Neither of them have amounted to anything, and I would hate that to happen to Shearer.

On the back wall, there is a giant canvas of Sir Bobby waving to the Toon faithful before his first home game in charge, an 8-0 win against Sheffield Wednesday in which Alan Shearer scored five goals. Hanging to the right is a picture of Sir Bobby and his squad beaming as they pose in Barcelona's Nou Camp before a Champions League game. Sir Bobby Robson and Steve Harper In tune: Sir Bobby Robson and Newcastle keeper Steve Harper agree on the importance of today's clash It is hard to believe it was less than seven years ago that Newcastle were mixing with Europe's elite. Today, Sir Bobby is not interested in looking back and wondering where it all went wrong for his beloved club. This is no time for recriminations as Newcastle, with Shearer in charge, go to Aston Villa for arguably the most important game in the club's history. Lose at Villa Park and Newcastle will be relegated from the Premier League, resulting in an immediate financial hit of £30 million and a potential cost to the club which could last years if, like Leeds United, they continue to plummet. At 76 and fighting cancer for a fifth time, Sir Bobby is no longer a man who can save the club himself, but he knows a man who can: goalkeeper Steve Harper, who can make himself a true Toon legend if he can keep Newcastle in the top flight this afternoon. There is a special bond between Sir Bobby and Harper. Both are from County Durham mining stock, born 15 miles apart; Bobby in Sacriston, Harper in Easington. Harper rates Sir Bobby as the best of the 10 managers he has played in his 16 years at Newcastle. In turn, Sir Bobby believes Harper would have played for England had he not been so unselfish and stayed at Newcastle as Shay Given's understudy. 'Big match on Sunday, son,' are Sir Bobby's first words as they greet each other. 'That's an understatement,' says Harper. Kevin Keegan Harper was in goal for Sir Bobby the afternoon Shearer put five in the Wednesday net, and when Newcastle beat Juventus 1-0 in one of St James' Park's most famous European nights. 'You told the world's media before that game that I had to be absolutely faultless. I was sitting there thinking "no pressure, then!", recalls Harper. 'Aye, and you will have to be faultless against Aston Villa as well. Completely faultless,' replies Sir Bobby. 'Your time has come. You have waited patiently for years for an opportunity. Now you have the best chance of your career to be a hero. One save might be crucial, the difference that keeps Newcastle in the Premier League. 'Steve, I think an important area is set-plays. Villa are fantastic in the air with Emile Heskey and John Carew. You have to keep everybody in front of you alive and awake, switched on. Newcastle need leadership at the back. It's your responsibility.' Harper is in agreement with his former boss. 'We've worked on it in training this week. Villa are also a very quick team, good on the counter-attack. They have a lot of pace and width in the side, like we had when we were in the Champions League with Craig Bellamy and Laurent Robert. 'I know James Milner at Villa very well - you signed him for Newcastle and we became good friends. I've been texting him this week, telling him to put all his crosses in Row Z! 'We need 11 heroes, maybe 14. It is a strange situation. We could win and get relegated, or we could draw and stay up. Our problem has been scoring goals. We haven't scored five in our last seven, but you can be sure every player knows how big the game is for Newcastle. Anyone who doesn't shouldn't be at the club.' The permutations in the drop-zone this weekend are enough to give Stephen Hawking a headache. Newcastle will definitely go down if they lose. If they draw, they can only survive if Hull lose at home to Manchester United. If they win, they will stay up unless both Hull and Sunderland (at home to Chelsea) also win. Harper says it is important to understand the scores in other games, particularly in the closing stages. 'Every player must be aware of what is happening. If we are drawing the game, we have to know if we need to get a winner or if it's better to hold on to what we've got. 'I'll definitely go up for a corner if we need a goal in the last minute. I was a striker until I was 17. In fact, I played up front for 12 minutes in a friendly at Celtic a couple of years ago and set up a goal for Milner!' Harper has seen Newcastle rise and fall since joining from local club Seaham Red Star in 1993. But it is only since January, when Given left for Manchester City, that he has become the undisputed No 1. 'What made Sir Bobby stand out was his man-management. He knew intuitively which players needed an arm round the shoulder and who needed a kick up the backside. I will go round the other players just making sure they are all OK, giving them a pat on the back. It is important because it's such a massive game.' Sir Bobby has not given a team talk since he was sacked in 2004, after finishing fifth in the Premier League. But he knows what he would say if he was in the dressing room at 10 to four today. Alan Shearer Shear pressure: How Newcastle could do with Alan Shearer's goalscoring prowess on the pitch 'I would tell the players to win their individual battles. Win your one-on-one battles. If you are Steven Taylor, make sure you stop their centre forward getting chances, beat him in the air. There are 10 outfield individual battles. If you win seven and lose three, you win the game. If you win three and lose seven, you lose the game. 'On top of that, Steve has to be up for it every single second. There is more pressure on the goalkeeper than any other position. One mistake from the goalkeeper and the whole team plan goes out the window.' Harper concurs: 'I know what Sir Bobby means about goalkeepers. My son is six next month and every time he wants to go in goal in the garden, I won't let him! He should try and score goals - there is more money in it! I know I have to play part on Sunday, but we all do. It is not about individual glory; it is about Newcastle United being united. I'd rather win 7-6 and stay up, than play a blinder, win 1-0 and go down.' Frail health means Sir Bobby will not be able to travel to Birmingham to watch his team play. Instead, he is contemplating an outing to Sunderland for their game against Chelsea. The role of Shearer will be crucial for Newcastle today. Sir Bobby has been enthusiastic about his former ace striker taking charge. 'He has great football knowledge and the pressure won't bother him,' he says. 'I'm sure if Newcastle are winning near the end he will want his strikers to protect the ball in the corner -he was good at that himself.' 'The older he got, the earlier in the match he did it!' quips Harper, in a flash. 'I call him Gaffer now. It was strange the first time I said it, I'd always known him as Alan. But it seems right now - he is the gaffer.' Sir Bobby, the former gaffer, nods in approval. Newcastle's future is no longer in his hands, but it could be in Steve Harper's.