Gemmill 35638 Posted May 3, 2011 Share Posted May 3, 2011 A week from now Stevie will be getting a facefull of noodle minge. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
JonGoodwyn 1 Posted May 3, 2011 Share Posted May 3, 2011 Apparently I forgot to hand in a bibliography with a piece of coursework although I'm almost certain I didn't - meant I was stuck firmly 1% away from a first. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Monkeys Fist 39189 Posted May 3, 2011 Share Posted May 3, 2011 "Fringe like Freddie Boswell"  "The world is crying out for an oriental musical super star who is known worldwide. Fame, fortune, face, image this world needs someone from your part of Asia to be a global phenomenon. Some people probably think you could be it, but not, me you sound like you're fucking murdering a cat! Oh dear." :D  A week from now Stevie will be getting a facefull of noodle minge. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Gemmill 35638 Posted May 3, 2011 Share Posted May 3, 2011 Apparently I forgot to hand in a bibliography with a piece of coursework although I'm almost certain I didn't - meant I was stuck firmly 1% away from a first. A lucky escape. Firsts are for dweebs. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Kevin S. Assilleekunt 1 Posted May 3, 2011 Share Posted May 3, 2011 "maybe if your act involved ping pong balls you could attract a more interested and larger audience?  Good luck anyway."  stevie  I've been down to Speke getting my car scrapped, she's been texting me all day. She texted me in the morning about the Youtube comment. We had some back and forth and she was still saying she is incredibly talented and blessed with talent, which really fucks me off. Not only does it fuck me off, but it's bad for her because she wants to spend several thousand pounds on music courses, which are for people with some understanding of music and music theory, and I think she may end up getting ripped off and made a fool of, because she is deluded about being a talented singer. She's also been saying she had fallen for me and wants to be with me, but I said I told her from the start it was casual sex, and now I've ended it because we clearly aren't right for each other. Her entire family are just as nuts as she is, I've met them once, absolutely fucking barmy. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Barney 0 Posted May 3, 2011 Share Posted May 3, 2011 If you're done poking about in her ramen, just tell her she's a horrendous singer and maybe she should take the youtube comments on-board. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Kevin S. Assilleekunt 1 Posted May 3, 2011 Share Posted May 3, 2011 That's exactly what I have done, in slightly nicer terms, and with explanation to back it up. She's still obsessed with me though and I think infatuated with me, she said she was falling for me during our casual sex phase, despite the fact I told her I wanted nothing but sex, we spent no social time together, and we had absolutely nothing in common. I think it's because I gave so much cunnilingus. That's why I quit it, don't want to string someone on like that, I have to keep remembering that she has an infantile mind and I should really steer clear. At the same time, I like the taste of noodles. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Kevin S. Assilleekunt 1 Posted May 3, 2011 Share Posted May 3, 2011 (edited) She actually won £100 in a karaoke competition round here, think she came in 2nd but her story wasn't straight. She invited me, but I was busy. Feel free to give an objective comment on the video Ant. Edited May 3, 2011 by Kevin S. Assilleekunt Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
trophyshy 6453 Posted May 3, 2011 Share Posted May 3, 2011 If you want to get rid mate, tell her you have specially frozen one of your biggest turds with a view toward bringing her deep forbidden pleasure with it. Â Actually, make it two turds. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
McFaul 35 Posted May 6, 2011 Share Posted May 6, 2011 I've had two fuckin shit days. Everything going smoothly in life, then it's just one thing after another. All I'll say is fuck brummies costing me £6 fuckin hundred quid commission, by not staying 5 more days before chucking it. People just let you down in life and you just have to take it on the chin. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
ChezGiven 0 Posted May 12, 2011 Share Posted May 12, 2011 Lousy lousy moodhaving to miss the queens of the stoneage gig i have tickets for, and just had to cancel my trip to the cousins wedding in the czech republic next month. Â what an utter balls of a day. The bad news is that according to Happy Face that's even worse than missing a Talking Heads gig. The good news is that he's talking bollocks. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
ChezGiven 0 Posted May 12, 2011 Share Posted May 12, 2011 I'm drinking champagne, eating prawns and smoking tack. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Toonraider 0 Posted May 12, 2011 Share Posted May 12, 2011 Lousy lousy moodhaving to miss the queens of the stoneage gig i have tickets for, and just had to cancel my trip to the cousins wedding in the czech republic next month. Â what an utter balls of a day. Â NOOOOO Aw Ant I'd be seriously gutted. Whats up? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Toonraider 0 Posted May 12, 2011 Share Posted May 12, 2011 Lousy lousy moodhaving to miss the queens of the stoneage gig i have tickets for, and just had to cancel my trip to the cousins wedding in the czech republic next month. Â what an utter balls of a day. Â NOOOOO Aw Ant I'd be seriously gutted. Whats up? Â With the tickets literally couldn't give one of them away, people with other commitments etc so just can't make it, couldn't be arsed heading down on my own so just thought fck it sold them on at the start of the week, bit of a bollocks really seeing as it's my bday weekend lol. Â Holiday clashes with some work stuff it would seem and it's too much hassle to get out of, going go visit my mate in cardiff at the start of July instead. Â Is everyone you know fecking crazy? I'd have LOVED to have the chance to see them. I wish they were playing nearer here. Though I have no idea who I'd get to go with me either Most of my mates are girly girls with either no musical taste at all or they like pop music Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Dr Kenneth Noisewater 0 Posted May 12, 2011 Share Posted May 12, 2011 Just caught up with KSA's story. Golden! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Toonraider 0 Posted May 12, 2011 Share Posted May 12, 2011 Lousy lousy moodhaving to miss the queens of the stoneage gig i have tickets for, and just had to cancel my trip to the cousins wedding in the czech republic next month.  what an utter balls of a day.  NOOOOO Aw Ant I'd be seriously gutted. Whats up?  With the tickets literally couldn't give one of them away, people with other commitments etc so just can't make it, couldn't be arsed heading down on my own so just thought fck it sold them on at the start of the week, bit of a bollocks really seeing as it's my bday weekend lol.  Holiday clashes with some work stuff it would seem and it's too much hassle to get out of, going go visit my mate in cardiff at the start of July instead.  Is everyone you know fecking crazy? I'd have LOVED to have the chance to see them. I wish they were playing nearer here. Though I have no idea who I'd get to go with me either Most of my mates are girly girls with either no musical taste at all or they like pop music  new babies and people having exams for their work that week and such, lol i think my social group has hit the stage of us all being grown ups now booooooooo  Hmmm its a sobering thought My son said I'm too old to see QOTSA  But hey, I love them and appreciate how good they are, so what the hell?! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
ewerk 26853 Posted May 12, 2011 Share Posted May 12, 2011 Lousy lousy moodhaving to miss the queens of the stoneage gig i have tickets for, and just had to cancel my trip to the cousins wedding in the czech republic next month. Â what an utter balls of a day. Â NOOOOO Aw Ant I'd be seriously gutted. Whats up? Â With the tickets literally couldn't give one of them away, people with other commitments etc so just can't make it, couldn't be arsed heading down on my own so just thought fck it sold them on at the start of the week, bit of a bollocks really seeing as it's my bday weekend lol. Â Holiday clashes with some work stuff it would seem and it's too much hassle to get out of, going go visit my mate in cardiff at the start of July instead. Â I think Kevin is free that night. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Besty 4 Posted May 13, 2011 Share Posted May 13, 2011 No one would go with you on your birthday weekend? Harsh! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Monkeys Fist 39189 Posted May 13, 2011 Share Posted May 13, 2011 Lousy lousy moodhaving to miss the queens of the stoneage gig i have tickets for, and just had to cancel my trip to the cousins wedding in the czech republic next month. Â what an utter balls of a day. Â NOOOOO Aw Ant I'd be seriously gutted. Whats up? Â With the tickets literally couldn't give one of them away, people with other commitments etc so just can't make it, couldn't be arsed heading down on my own so just thought fck it sold them on at the start of the week, bit of a bollocks really seeing as it's my bday weekend lol. Â Holiday clashes with some work stuff it would seem and it's too much hassle to get out of, going go visit my mate in cardiff at the start of July instead. Â I think Kevin is free that night. He does freebies?? Little fucker always charges me Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Brock Manson 0 Posted May 13, 2011 Share Posted May 13, 2011 Frustrated. Girl trouble. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
JonTheMag 4 Posted May 14, 2011 Share Posted May 14, 2011 Have a story you lot may or may not appreciate. Â I went to my friend's party last night, which was a big bash at Columbia University in NYC. In addition to all the students, a bunch of my old friends from back home were there as well. One of these such friends had been dumped by his girlfriend a month ago, and began the night with the sole intention of hooking up with anything that moved. Â So the party gets going, and theres this one girl there who we were both introduced to, and each chatted up at some point in the night. As the night went on, my mate (we'll call him Brian), got increasingly more drunk, and became very sloppy. This girl (Sally) was also quite drunk and was leaning against a wall. Brian walks up to her, and puts his arms on the wall next to her, trapping her in. She tries to duck out, but he stops her. He tries to put the moves on her and begins to kiss her, an action that she tries to avoid by craning her neck. But Brian was quite content to kiss her neck until she yielded. So they made out for about a minute, when she escaped and immediately came over to me. I think we said something about how Brian was creeping on her, and then we went into someones bedroom to hang out. One thing leads to another and we start hooking up, and this goes on for about 15 minutes or so. I was getting quite close to sealing the deal, when my friend who was hosting the party (Alan) knocks and comes in, saying we have to get out of his bedroom. That I was fine with, he's a good mate of mine and I was totally ok with respecting his boundaries. But then Brian comes in and basically repeats what Alan said, saying that we had to leave. So I get up and leave, and then next thing I know, I turn around to see Brian hooking up with Sally. Not cool. Â I mean, I wasn't that fussed, seeing as this girl wasn't the type of girl I would want to spend time with in any other context. But the fact that he cock-blocked me in such an overt way kind of annoyed me. So yeah, thats the mood I'm in. Sorry if this all comes off as arrogant or Kevin-esque or whatever, but I wanted to get the story down in writing before it escaped my memory. Also, there is a funny bit: Â As Brian was hooking up with this girl, he started trying to talk dirty to her. Apparently it was going well, so she said "oooh keep going". And then he says "You're a dirty slut, aren't you?" She IMMEDIATELY breaks it off and is like "what? are you calling me a slut? what the fuck?" At which point she got up and fucked off Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Gemmill 35638 Posted May 14, 2011 Share Posted May 14, 2011 She sounds pretty classy. And tbf to your mate, he was necking on with her first. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
JonTheMag 4 Posted May 14, 2011 Share Posted May 14, 2011 She sounds pretty classy. And tbf to your mate, he was necking on with her first. Â Yeah I get that, and normally that would be my opinion as well. But the way he went about it initially was a bit rapey. Â And yeah, my favorite part is that she got upset at being called a slut. I mean, you're opening your legs for anyone who comes into the room, what do you expect?! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Gemmill 35638 Posted May 14, 2011 Share Posted May 14, 2011 I just have a mental image of him walking into the room, announcing "You need to leave Jon!" as he walks straight past you and sticks the lips on her. What an opportunist. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Monkeys Fist 39189 Posted May 14, 2011 Share Posted May 14, 2011 My Mrs. hates me calling her that too, but it is the only way to get her attention in a crowded supermarket. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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