What mood are you in and why?

[Idioteque 0]

Anxious, waiting to go out but have to wait in for my ma and sisters bastard take that tickets

[McFaul 35]

Fucking mint mood, I've had two months where everything has been amazing and not one thing has went wrong. I don't think I've had an argument with anyone this year!

 

Wish I'd taken Tues, Weds and Thurs off though.

Edited April 25, 2011 by McFaul

[Monroe Transfer 0]

Fucking mint mood, I've had two months where everything has been amazing and not one thing has went wrong.

 

Not even the football/betting?

[NJS 3986]

Sick of being sick - had a nasty bout of man flu 2 weeks ago, started to feel almost human by last midweek but have had a bit of a relapse since Friday - either a mutation or a cousin of the original.

 

All this sunshine and I've been as far as the co-op at the top of the street.

[luckyluke 1]

Fed up with work. Got to have a meeting with 3 consultants because someone put in a complaint about me for bugger all whereas in a separate incident my reg broke a whole load of rules on Saturday morning, pissed off the entire theatre staff and I don't think she'll even get spoken to. Mulling over whether to kick off about it when I have this showdown on Wednesday, I don't particularly want to drop her in it but it's bloody unfair. Looking forward to changing jobs really.

 

And if you're thinking about making the usual jokes than go chuck yourself under a bus instead, you boring cunt.

[Gemmill 34637]

I wouldn't drop her in it. It's not gonna help you out any, and you'll just end up looking a twat if word gets out that you did it. Just take your medicine (geddit?) and move on.

 

Good luck finding a new job/with the new job (if you've already found one).

[Kevin 1]

Fucking mint mood, I've had two months where everything has been amazing and not one thing has went wrong. I don't think I've had an argument with anyone this year!

 

Wish I'd taken Tues, Weds and Thurs off though.

 

'cept you've put on a few stone and broke a very sturdy bench in public.

[luckyluke 1]

I wouldn't drop her in it. It's not gonna help you out any, and you'll just end up looking a twat if word gets out that you did it. Just take your medicine (geddit?) and move on.

 

Good luck finding a new job/with the new job (if you've already found one).

 

Yeah I know, I just think her cock up was potentially a lot worse than 'mine' (I've done fuck all wrong) yet one of the fucking panel I have to face has pretty much laughed off the incident form put in about her by the theatre staff. Still, I'll let them sort it out.

 

I'm not quitting or owt - I'm at my current post for a year then I move on to another hospital in August, I don't have to go jobhunting etc.

[Tom 13883]

Tired and hungover. Was helping out at a gig last night which mainly involved wearing a lanyard and getting pissed watching bands. Score.

[catmag 336]

I wouldn't drop her in it. It's not gonna help you out any, and you'll just end up looking a twat if word gets out that you did it. Just take your medicine (geddit?) and move on.

 

Good luck finding a new job/with the new job (if you've already found one).

 

Yeah I know, I just think her cock up was potentially a lot worse than 'mine' (I've done fuck all wrong) yet one of the fucking panel I have to face has pretty much laughed off the incident form put in about her by the theatre staff. Still, I'll let them sort it out.

 

I'm not quitting or owt - I'm at my current post for a year then I move on to another hospital in August, I don't have to go jobhunting etc.

 

What's the craic Luke? (Cock-up wise, I mean..) Are you sticking with anaesthetics?

[Kevin S. Assilleekunt 1]

I'm boinking this woman who believes in ghosts and shit, she's incredibly stupid. I've stated explicitly from the outset this is just a casual thing though, I think she gets it. It's perked me up anyway, feeling good.

[catmag 336]

I'm boinking this woman who believes in ghosts and shit, she's incredibly stupid. I've stated explicitly from the outset this is just a casual thing though, I think she gets it. It's perked me up anyway, feeling good.

 

She must be a good shag then cos it sounds like you're not impressed by much else!

[ChezGiven 0]

Does she also think she is psychic?

[Park Life 70]

I'm boinking this woman who believes in ghosts and shit, she's incredibly stupid. I've stated explicitly from the outset this is just a casual thing though, I think she gets it. It's perked me up anyway, feeling good.

 

She must be a good shag then cos it sounds like you're not impressed by much else!

 

He's not just bonking her he's boinking her!

[Kevin S. Assilleekunt 1]

I'm boinking this woman who believes in ghosts and shit, she's incredibly stupid. I've stated explicitly from the outset this is just a casual thing though, I think she gets it. It's perked me up anyway, feeling good.

 

She must be a good shag then cos it sounds like you're not impressed by much else!

 

She's actually terrible in bed. I just don't think I'm in any position to turn down the opportunity of sex, so I took it. She's 25 so I thought she'd be fairly mature and experienced and up for some casual fun. She only had one previous relationship and all she learned in that time (4 years) was 'the helicopter' where she gets on top of me and jumps up and down and swings round violently in a circular motion, nearly tearing my penis off and causing me a great deal of pain in the process. This happened early on after I deployed the cunnilingus during our first sexual encounter, and as a consequence of the pain I didn't finish, even though we were bonking on and off for 5 hours. Now she thinks I'm fucking superman or something.

 

Does she also think she is psychic?

 

She doesn't, but she is very pious and believes everyone needs the bible to give them guidance, even though she's never read it. I said, 'did the bible guide you to suck my cock? You will burn in hell for that.' That's a minor sin according to her beliefs, she doesn't adhere to scripture for that one. She believes in ghosts and on good friday she thought there was a ghost in her house and wouldn't sleep upstairs. I told her ghosts didn't exist, to which she responded, 'Surely they do because my aunt said she saw my grandfather after he died.' This 'aunt is a woman who watches up to 8 hours of filipino soap operas daily, shit you not. She also said that people say aliens don't exist, but they built the pyramids in Egypt so that proves ghosts and aliens exist.

Edited April 25, 2011 by Kevin S. Assilleekunt

[luckyluke 1]

Where did you meet this charmer?

[Kevin S. Assilleekunt 1]

I think I mentioned her before in here, she is half-chinese, half-filipino, met her at a party and she was texting me like crazy afterwards, 'OOHH YOU SUCH UNIQUE WONDERFULL PERSOONNNN OHHHH SOOOO MUCH FUN TO BE WITH SOOOO UNIQUE I APPRECIATESS YOUUU YOU ARE PART OF MY FAMILY NOOWWWW SOOOO MUCH FUNNY TO BE WITH' ad nauseum.

 

So, given that I had adopted my new philosophy of never turning down the opportunity of sex, I decided to try my luck and texted her saying, 'are you free tonight? I have a free house, why don't you come round and we can make a baby so you can have a UK visa?' This was in keeping with the humour I had established the night before. She texted me back saying 'WHAT YOU MEEN MAKE BABY? I AM NOT SLUTTY GIRRLLL I AM ONLY WANTING TO SETTLE DOWNN HAVE FAMILYYY' ad nauseum (she sends texts in batches of 3 with little chinese smiley face cat things on the end, and constantly employs LMFAOOOOO HEHEHEHE BUAHAHAHAHAHA and other such banalities).

 

Basically I persevered and explained we were both young, we should have some fun while we are young before I get too old and my penis isn't functioning. We eventually met up at a hotel and fucked, and we've fucked a total of 20 hours now. I have had one orgasm during that time, and I ended up just wanking myself off for that one. She contributes absolutely nothing in the way of effort or anything during sex. In the hotel, she said 'OHHH I AM SOOO SHYYY, NOT USED TO IN THE LIGHTTT' and just lay on her back with her eyes closed while I went about it. I worked my way down fairly quickly to her vagina and started with the cunnilingus, to great effect. If there's a positive, it's that I've gained some good cunnilingus skills now, getting all the thumbs and fingers involved and everything. Being grateful as I was to be getting laid, I was very eager to give her orgasms. I said, 'Did you have a nice orgasm?' and she replied, 'EVERYTINGGGGG'.

 

Then I got started with some penetration. She wasn't supporting my body-weight at all, so after about 15 minutes I was sweating profusely, dripping everywhere. She piped up, 'YOUU.... WANT ME ON TOPP?' I said yeah sure, then she started up with that fucking helicopter business. My balls were aching the whole day after. During the next session I bent her over a table and took her from behind so I didn't have to support my whole weight, but I could see that this kind of penetration alone would not stimulate her enough for her to come. So on saturday, I lay her up on the edge of the bed and popped her legs over my shoulders and got to work. I reached over with my hands and got my thumbs (one at a time, alternating) working her clitoris at the same time. She started screaming and shit and ended up having a multiple orgasm and ejaculating after a prolonged time in this position. She was dripping on the bed, did I mention this was my parents bed? She was upset that during 4 encounters I had not yet come, so I ended up wanking myself off and accidentally sprayed a bit on the bed and her face. This took fucking ages though as she insisted on blowing me intermittently and she basically just grates my penis with her teeth, it's not that painful, but she has braces and I don't really want them on my penis. The one thing I am thankful of is that she has a clean vagina, because the last woman I was in bed with turned out to be a ponger and that killed any chance of sex, especially given that I like to start with the cunnilingus. I just pulled her knickers down, got one whiff and said, 'no thanks love, I'm going to sleep.'

[Monkeys Fist 38843]

Next time , poop chute and donkey punch.

[StoneColdStephenIreland 74]

You little studmuffin

[ewerk 26485]

Well I just came.

[Kevin S. Assilleekunt 1]

 

 

 

Here she is, you can see the braces in the last pic, like fucking jaws or something. I think she might be lying about being 25 because she looks about 12 and has the intellect of a 3 year old, maybe she's just angling for a Visa, I could care less. I don't spend any time with her socially, but from the conversations we have had between bunga bunga sessions I'd be hard pressed to find someone I have less in common with.

Edited April 26, 2011 by Kevin S. Assilleekunt

[Ayatollah Hermione 12768]

Send her my way.

[Brock Manson 0]

She was half-chinese, half-filipino. Akabusi had met her at a party and she was texting him like crazy afterwards, 'OOHH YOU SUCH UNIQUE WONDERFULL PERSOONNNN OHHHH SOOOO MUCH FUN TO BE WITH SOOOO UNIQUE I APPRECIATESS YOUUU YOU ARE PART OF MY FAMILY NOOWWWW SOOOO MUCH FUNNY TO BE WITH' ad nauseum.

 

So, given that Akabusi had adopted his new philosophy of never turning down the opportunity of sex, he decided to try his luck and texted her saying, 'are you free tonight? I have a free house, why don't you come round and we can make a baby so you can have a UK visa?' This was in keeping with the humour he had established the night before. She texted back saying 'WHAT YOU MEEN MAKE BABY? I AM NOT SLUTTY GIRRLLL I AM ONLY WANTING TO SETTLE DOWNN HAVE FAMILYYY' ad nauseum (she sends texts in batches of 3 with little chinese smiley face cat things on the end, and constantly employs LMFAOOOOO HEHEHEHE BUAHAHAHAHAHA and other such banalities).

 

Akabusi persevered, explained that they were both young, they should have some fun while they were young before he got too old and his vibrant black mamba wasn't spitting venom. They eventually met up at a hotel and fucked, and had fucked a total of 20 hours now. Akabusi had one orgasm during that time, and ended up just wanking himself off, screwing his eyes shut tight in the vinegar strokes and yelling AWOOGA! for that one. She contributed absolutely nothing in the way of effort or anything during sex. In the hotel, she said 'OHHH I AM SOOO SHYYY, NOT USED TO IN THE LIGHTTT' and just lay on her back with her eyes closed while he went about it. He worked his way down fairly quickly to her vagina and started with the cunnilingus, to great effect. If there's a positive, it's that he'd gained some good cunnilingus skills now, getting all the thumbs and fingers involved and everything. Being grateful as he was to be getting laid, he was very eager to give her orgasms. He said, 'Did you have a nice orgasm?' and she replied, 'EVERYTINGGGGG'.

 

Then Akabusi got started with some penetration. She wasn't supporting his anti-olympian body-weight at all, so after about 15 minutes he was sweating profusely like Josef Fritzl in a B&Q, dripping everywhere. She piped up, 'YOUU.... WANT ME ON TOPP?' He said yeah sure, then she started up with some fucking helicopter business. His balls were aching the whole day after.

 

During the next session he bent her over a table and took her from behind so he didn't have to support his whole weight, but Akabusi could see that this kind of penetration alone would not stimulate her enough for her to come. So on saturday, he lay her up on the edge of the bed and popped her legs over his shoulders and got to work. He reached over with his hands and got his thumbs (one at a time, alternating) working her clitoris at the same time. She started screaming and shit and ended up having a multiple orgasm and ejaculating after a prolonged time in this position. She was dripping on the bed like a minimilk left on a wall in the summer.

 

She was upset that during 4 encounters he had not yet come, so he ended up wanking himself off and accidentally sprayed a torrent on the bed and her face. This took fucking ages though as she insisted on blowing him intermittently and she basically just grated his penis with her teeth, it's not that painful, but she has braces and Akabusi don't really want them on his penis. The one thing he was thankful for is that she had a clean vagina, because the last woman he was in bed with turned out to be a ponger and that killed any chance of sex, especially given that he liked to start with the cunnilingus. He just pulled her knickers down, got one whiff and whispered 'no thanks love, I'm going to sleep. Awooga,' in her ear and patted her on the fanny.

 

FYP.

[Gemmill 34637]

I think I mentioned her before in here, she is half-chinese, half-filipino, met her at a party and she was texting me like crazy afterwards, 'OOHH YOU SUCH UNIQUE WONDERFULL PERSOONNNN OHHHH SOOOO MUCH FUN TO BE WITH SOOOO UNIQUE I APPRECIATESS YOUUU YOU ARE PART OF MY FAMILY NOOWWWW SOOOO MUCH FUNNY TO BE WITH' ad nauseum.

 

So, given that I had adopted my new philosophy of never turning down the opportunity of sex, I decided to try my luck and texted her saying, 'are you free tonight? I have a free house, why don't you come round and we can make a baby so you can have a UK visa?' This was in keeping with the humour I had established the night before. She texted me back saying 'WHAT YOU MEEN MAKE BABY? I AM NOT SLUTTY GIRRLLL I AM ONLY WANTING TO SETTLE DOWNN HAVE FAMILYYY' ad nauseum (she sends texts in batches of 3 with little chinese smiley face cat things on the end, and constantly employs LMFAOOOOO HEHEHEHE BUAHAHAHAHAHA and other such banalities).

 

Basically I persevered and explained we were both young, we should have some fun while we are young before I get too old and my penis isn't functioning. We eventually met up at a hotel and fucked, and we've fucked a total of 20 hours now. I have had one orgasm during that time, and I ended up just wanking myself off for that one. She contributes absolutely nothing in the way of effort or anything during sex. In the hotel, she said 'OHHH I AM SOOO SHYYY, NOT USED TO IN THE LIGHTTT' and just lay on her back with her eyes closed while I went about it. I worked my way down fairly quickly to her vagina and started with the cunnilingus, to great effect. If there's a positive, it's that I've gained some good cunnilingus skills now, getting all the thumbs and fingers involved and everything. Being grateful as I was to be getting laid, I was very eager to give her orgasms. I said, 'Did you have a nice orgasm?' and she replied, 'EVERYTINGGGGG'.

 

Then I got started with some penetration. She wasn't supporting my body-weight at all, so after about 15 minutes I was sweating profusely, dripping everywhere. She piped up, 'YOUU.... WANT ME ON TOPP?' I said yeah sure, then she started up with that fucking helicopter business. My balls were aching the whole day after. During the next session I bent her over a table and took her from behind so I didn't have to support my whole weight, but I could see that this kind of penetration alone would not stimulate her enough for her to come. So on saturday, I lay her up on the edge of the bed and popped her legs over my shoulders and got to work. I reached over with my hands and got my thumbs (one at a time, alternating) working her clitoris at the same time. She started screaming and shit and ended up having a multiple orgasm and ejaculating after a prolonged time in this position. She was dripping on the bed, did I mention this was my parents bed? She was upset that during 4 encounters I had not yet come, so I ended up wanking myself off and accidentally sprayed a bit on the bed and her face. This took fucking ages though as she insisted on blowing me intermittently and she basically just grates my penis with her teeth, it's not that painful, but she has braces and I don't really want them on my penis. The one thing I am thankful of is that she has a clean vagina, because the last woman I was in bed with turned out to be a ponger and that killed any chance of sex, especially given that I like to start with the cunnilingus. I just pulled her knickers down, got one whiff and said, 'no thanks love, I'm going to sleep.'

 

 

I particularly liked "we've fucked a total of 20 hours now". Have you got an app on your phone or something?

[McFaul 35]

 

 

 

Here she is, you can see the braces in the last pic, like fucking jaws or something. I think she might be lying about being 25 because she looks about 12 and has the intellect of a 3 year old, maybe she's just angling for a Visa, I could care less. I don't spend any time with her socially, but from the conversations we have had between bunga bunga sessions I'd be hard pressed to find someone I have less in common with.

 

You think?!?!? You asked her if she managed to get Gadd's autograph?