Sonatine 13479 Posted April 23 Share Posted April 23 1 hour ago, wykikitoon said: My cousin went to the City Baths at the weekend and saw this canny boiler smiling at him.. So he goes over to her and says; 'Alreet Pet, are ye flirtin?' 'Nah Pet, I'm on me tiptoes' 4 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Howmanheyman 43933 Posted May 3 Share Posted May 3 On 23/04/2025 at 13:37, wykikitoon said: My cousin went to the City Baths at the weekend and saw this canny boiler smiling at him.. So he goes over to her and says; 'Alreet Pet, are ye flirtin?' 'Nah Pet, I'm on me tiptoes' On 23/04/2025 at 14:54, Alex said: That’s older than me. Probably older than me dad Here's another one then... A sparkie gets a call out jerb in an Ashington working men's clurb. He walks in and asks the steward, 'where's the mains, mate?' bar steward replies, 'through them doors on the right, next to the ladies.' 2 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
RobinRobin 14503 Posted May 4 Share Posted May 4 4 hours ago, Howmanheyman said: Here's another one then... A sparkie gets a call out jerb in an Ashington working men's clurb. He walks in and asks the steward, 'where's the mains, mate?' bar steward replies, 'through them doors on the right, next to the ladies.' 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Christmas Tree 6697 Posted May 8 Share Posted May 8 4 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Monkeys Fist 50743 Posted May 8 Share Posted May 8 2 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
RobinRobin 14503 Posted May 9 Share Posted May 9 3 hours ago, Christmas Tree said: Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
AgentAxeman 587 Posted May 9 Share Posted May 9 Apparently Indian fighter jets have dropped 500 onion bhajis and 1000 pakora on Pakistan earlier today..... ......and that's just for starters..... 9 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Monkeys Fist 50743 Posted May 9 Share Posted May 9 1 hour ago, AgentAxeman said: and that's just for starters Bomb Bay Duck, anyone? 7 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Ayatollah Hermione 17238 Posted May 9 Share Posted May 9 11 hours ago, AgentAxeman said: Apparently Indian fighter jets have dropped 500 onion bhajis and 1000 pakora on Pakistan earlier today..... ......and that's just for starters..... I shouldn’t laugh but I’ve been cracking up at this all day 3 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
wykikitoon 28542 Posted May 13 Share Posted May 13 https://www.instagram.com/reel/DJltt3FM72A/?igsh=OTE5ZWR2YnRvcDI0 Gemmill is Peter 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
aimaad22 6001 Posted June 1 Share Posted June 1 I pushed a Chinese guy down the stairs yesterday. It was Wong on so many levels. 2 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
PaddockLad 22498 Posted June 20 Share Posted June 20 4 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Monkeys Fist 50743 Posted June 21 Share Posted June 21 I’ve a shit few days, then when I got home I found that someone had ripped the first and last ten pages or so from the 100yr old family dictionary. It just went from bad to worse. 2 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
RobinRobin 14503 Posted June 22 Share Posted June 22 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Toonpack 15593 Posted July 21 Share Posted July 21 (edited) No, monks can't fly, you're thinking of air friars. Edited July 21 by Toonpack Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Kid Dynamite 9340 Posted July 21 Share Posted July 21 I had a patient in A&E yesterday who said he'd been bitten by a wolf. "Where?", I asked. "No, a normal one" he replied. 2 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Gemmill 63200 Posted July 21 Share Posted July 21 A rare visit to this thread for you. Let's hope it stays that way. 3 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Dazzler 16199 Posted July 21 Share Posted July 21 1 hour ago, Kid Dynamite said: I had a patient in A&E yesterday who said he'd been bitten by a wolf. "Where?", I asked. "No, a normal one" he replied. 4 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Howmanheyman 43933 Posted July 21 Share Posted July 21 7 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Sonatine 13479 Posted July 21 Share Posted July 21 5 minutes ago, Howmanheyman said: 4 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Alex 42149 Posted July 21 Share Posted July 21 4 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Dazzler 16199 Posted July 21 Share Posted July 21 52 minutes ago, Howmanheyman said: This is fake news. Connery would have just given her a clout. 3 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Monkeys Fist 50743 Posted July 21 Share Posted July 21 3 hours ago, Dazzler said: This is fake news. Connery would have just given her a clout. Now I have the image of Cilla’s battered old clout in my head, cheers. also 3 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Howmanheyman 43933 Posted July 21 Share Posted July 21 3 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Monkeys Fist 50743 Posted August 13 Share Posted August 13 Took the family for a trip out up Northumberland yesterday, and as we passed this farmer stood in amongst his crops I told the kids that he was a particularly talented farmer. “ Why’s that then, you dodgy old Whopper?” says they. “ BECAUSE HE’S OUTSTANDING IN HIS FIELD!” said I, dodging the blows 3 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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