Monkeys Fist 27932 Posted February 13 Share Posted February 13 Showed my mates the tattoos I got recently in Malaga, and they were surprised at the level of detail on them. I said, aye… I’ll just see myself out, thanks. 9 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
RobinRobin 5363 Posted February 14 Share Posted February 14 7 hours ago, Monkeys Fist said: Showed my mates the tattoos I got recently in Malaga, and they were surprised at the level of detail on them. I said, aye… I’ll just see myself out, thanks. 1 2 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
RobinRobin 5363 Posted February 27 Share Posted February 27 I was attacked today by six dwarves ... Not Happy 6 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Dr Gloom 14390 Posted February 27 Author Share Posted February 27 1 hour ago, RobinRobin said: I was attacked today by six dwarves ... Not Happy stop stealing my jokes! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
RobinRobin 5363 Posted February 27 Share Posted February 27 26 minutes ago, Dr Gloom said: stop stealing my jokes! Clearly steal them from the same place you do. 🙂 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Meenzer 11381 Posted February 27 Share Posted February 27 48 minutes ago, Dr Gloom said: stop stealing my jokes! All right, Grumpy. 2 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Dr Gloom 14390 Posted February 27 Author Share Posted February 27 14 minutes ago, Meenzer said: All right, Grumpy. more like sleepy today 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Craig 6076 Posted February 28 Share Posted February 28 What do you call a dog without a bone? Floppy 3 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
spongebob toonpants 2573 Posted March 14 Share Posted March 14 Person 1 : My surname is Smith because my father was a Smith. He used to spend all day every day beating metal and creating weaponry. Person 2 : My surname is Plumber. My father was a plumber. He spent all day every day clearing pipes and making sure the water flowed where it should. Person 3 : My surname is Dickinson… 5 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Dr Gloom 14390 Posted March 14 Author Share Posted March 14 I once had a fight in a toilet. Serious shit went down. 3 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Monkeys Fist 27932 Posted March 14 Share Posted March 14 We went wild camping and the only drinking water was from a deep hole in the ground. I took a bucket but it was too wide for the hole. It didn’t go down well. 4 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Dr Gloom 14390 Posted March 14 Author Share Posted March 14 3 hours ago, Monkeys Fist said: We went wild camping and the only drinking water was from a deep hole in the ground. I took a bucket but it was too wide for the hole. It didn’t go down well. that reminds me. I saw an old man the other day who fell into a well i guess he couldn’t see that well 3 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Monkeys Fist 27932 Posted March 14 Share Posted March 14 3 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
RobinRobin 5363 Posted March 15 Share Posted March 15 15 hours ago, Dr Gloom said: I once had a fight in a toilet. Serious shit went down. 11 hours ago, Dr Gloom said: that reminds me. I saw an old man the other day who fell into a well i guess he couldn’t see that well 2 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
RobinRobin 5363 Posted March 15 Share Posted March 15 My pet mouse "Elvis" died last night. He was caught in a trap. 🙂 7 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Alex 22599 Posted March 15 Share Posted March 15 I’m suspicious about the veracity of that story 3 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Monkeys Fist 27932 Posted March 15 Share Posted March 15 8 minutes ago, Alex said: I’m suspicious about the veracity of that story These things happen in the low income, single ethnicity, areas of cities. Usually on cold grey mornings. 3 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
RobinRobin 5363 Posted March 16 Share Posted March 16 15 hours ago, Monkeys Fist said: These things happen in the low income, single ethnicity, areas of cities. Usually on cold grey mornings. 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Howmanheyman 19018 Posted March 18 Share Posted March 18 Bloke suspects his missus is having an affair so he pretends to go to work but goes on a drive before returning an hour later. Lo and behold he he sees movement upstairs so he lets himself in to hear their lass screaming in ecstasy, he goes ballistic, grabs a knife lying on the bench, runs upstairs and sees his pal giving his wife a good scudding. Blinded by rage and hurt he plunges his knife in the ex-pal and as his mate slumps to floor dead his missus says, 'Well if that's how you're going to go on you'll have no mates left!' 4 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Sonatine 8353 Posted March 18 Share Posted March 18 4 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Monkeys Fist 27932 Posted March 18 Share Posted March 18 Bloke fell in a vat of liquid nitrogen and had a body temperature of -273.15°C when they pulled him out. They pronounced him dead but he was OK. 3 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Howmanheyman 19018 Posted March 18 Share Posted March 18 Bloke died in the brewery after falling into a twenty tonne beer tank. It was a slow death as he ended up crawling out five times for a piss before finally drowning. 7 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
RobinRobin 5363 Posted March 19 Share Posted March 19 3 hours ago, Monkeys Fist said: Bloke fell in a vat of liquid nitrogen and had a body temperature of -273.15°C when they pulled him out. They pronounced him dead but he was OK. 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Dr Gloom 14390 Posted March 21 Author Share Posted March 21 On 15/03/2023 at 11:47, RobinRobin said: My pet mouse "Elvis" died last night. He was caught in a trap. 🙂 :lol: Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Dr Gloom 14390 Posted March 21 Author Share Posted March 21 I've opened a gym, where the instructors would go from door to door, to tell people about the benefits of joining it. I’ve named it Jehovah’s Fitness 2 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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