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Alan Pardew - Poltroon sacked by a forrin team

Kid Dynamite

By Kid Dynamite,
in Newcastle Forum

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What does Pardew Deserve?  

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Rayvin
Rayvin

So what we're saying here is that Alan Pardew thinks that football club owners have looked at his track record and chosen not to hire him because they saw a 4 second gif of him dancing once. Stuff lik

Howay
Howay
OTF
OTF

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Guest alex

Guest alex

Posted
Posted
Running out of energy to invest emotion in the Goon show.

 

I've posted passionate rants on here about it being our club and it always will be, but it is so fucking bizarre and detached from the fans now that I think it is clearly lost until Ashley goes. I don't know what it is these days, in the past it has been a rollercoaster with some soaring summits, thrilling twists and painful let downs. Now it's like being dragged by a lunatic driven tractor through a Sports Direct field filled with manure covered breeze blocks, how long can anyone put up with that?

 

Newcastle United is owned by a complete and utter cunt, don't give him your money; nothing. Fuck loyalty, it is stupidity.

I know exactly what you mean. It's almost like it's not really happening. Rather than being gutted like when KK went it's more like I'm watching a tv series with no basis in reality.

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trophyshy

trophyshy 6434

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Posted (edited)
Running out of energy to invest emotion in the Goon show.

 

I've posted passionate rants on here about it being our club and it always will be, but it is so fucking bizarre and detached from the fans now that I think it is clearly lost until Ashley goes. I don't know what it is these days, in the past it has been a rollercoaster with some soaring summits, thrilling twists and painful let downs. Now it's like being dragged by a lunatic driven tractor through a Sports Direct field filled with manure covered breeze blocks, how long can anyone put up with that?

 

Newcastle United is owned by a complete and utter cunt, don't give him your money; nothing. Fuck loyalty, it is stupidity.

I know exactly what you mean. It's almost like it's not really happening. Rather than being gutted like when KK went it's more like I'm watching a tv series with no basis in reality.

 

you can't just fucking dump the team though can you?

 

only possible solution for the individual is to follow them from afar; i.e. not spend any money, and try not to give too much of a fuck. But we all know that's not how it works.

 

He bought one of the best supported clubs in the world and he is seemingly trying to change that one and only thing which has carried us for decades. How long has he been here now? Any further forward on the pitch? Any better off in the backroom? Allegedly the only improvement is in our finances, and I take that with a pinch of salt.

 

What happens to Newcastle if the fans finally see the light and turn their backs? A badly supported club run by a cunt? Is that better or worse than a well supported club run by a cunt? If we continue to pay up then we may be more marketable, but who is going to do any business with these casino pisshead jokers? Reasons to be fearful, 1, 2, 3.

 

There is no solution here till he fucks off and I can't see that happening until he gets a ridiculous offer, which I also can't see happening.

 

My last day of work tomorrow, I should be worried about that really. :razz:

Edited by trophyshy
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Sonatine

Sonatine 10016

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Alan Pardew has been signed up to be boss of Newcastle until 2016. The real question, though, is how many managers the Toon will actually have in the next five years - and whether Mike Ashley's popular 'Buy Cockney' policy is now entering its critical phase. Here are tomorrow's Newcastle United managers, today...

 

 

January 2011: After a tricky festive period, Pardew is sacked. "We failed to win the Champions League, and Alan knows it was him what had to carry the can," says Ashley. Dennis Wise takes over the managerial reins.

 

May 2012: Despite being unpopular with local fans, manager Wise insists that the appointment of "me old china, Jody Morris as Assistant Manager-stroke-coach-stroke-pwopah-nawty-geezah-abaht-taahn" will "show you northern monkeys how football should be done". Newcastle slump to relegation.

 

June 2012: Ashley is in no doubt as to why the club went down. "We went daaaaahn," he explains. "Cos we wasn't Cockernee enough at the highest levels." Barbara Windsor arrives on a five-year deal.

 

September 2013: Life in the Championship is tough for Babs and assistant manager Phil Mitchell, and a falling-out with Mike Ashley is inevitable after the duo fail to deliver the Nobel Prize For Literature success that is Newcastle supporters' birthright. "Leave it Phil, eee ain't worf it," screams Babs, as a tearful Phil tries to attack Ashley, but gets stuck in his panel van, which has been boxed in at the Newcastle carpark by a giant mobile whelk stand.

 

June 2014: Mike Ashley attempts to appoint Dick Van Dyke as boss, but is rebuffed by the board who explain that "he is a fictional character". Ashley retorts: "So was Kevin Keegan." The club once again fail to win the US Presidential election, leading to outbreaks of crying Geordies in Washington DC.

 

October 2014: After a briefly successful period when the club is managed by An Old Joanna, drastic action is needed with the club once again struggling in the third tier. New manager Danny Dyer complains: "There's some well tasty fixtures comin'' up and no mistake, 'ave a banana. Wycombe Wanderers away? Nawty, nawty, boys. Tasty, tasty, meaty, beaty, big and bouncy them lads are. Gertcha!" However, Dyer resigns in tears "after a ball girl looks at him in a threatening manner" at AFC Bournemouth.

 

December 2016: Eric Bristow cannot revive Newcastle's fortunes, and they plummet into the old fourth division. With what many Cockney experts are describing from the driver's seats of their cab as "a last frow of the dice, me old son. Yeah, King Cross to Euston, of course the quickest way's via Clapham, wot are you, some sort of tourist. That's a monkey to you, you caahnt, have a good day mate." Ashley plays his ace: the reanimated corpse of Mike Reid is appointed Director Of Football and Market Stalls and the search begins, once again, for a manager.

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Mac-Toon

Mac-Toon 1

Posted
Posted
Alan Pardew has been signed up to be boss of Newcastle until 2016. The real question, though, is how many managers the Toon will actually have in the next five years - and whether Mike Ashley's popular 'Buy Cockney' policy is now entering its critical phase. Here are tomorrow's Newcastle United managers, today...

 

 

January 2011: After a tricky festive period, Pardew is sacked. "We failed to win the Champions League, and Alan knows it was him what had to carry the can," says Ashley. Dennis Wise takes over the managerial reins.

 

May 2012: Despite being unpopular with local fans, manager Wise insists that the appointment of "me old china, Jody Morris as Assistant Manager-stroke-coach-stroke-pwopah-nawty-geezah-abaht-taahn" will "show you northern monkeys how football should be done". Newcastle slump to relegation.

 

June 2012: Ashley is in no doubt as to why the club went down. "We went daaaaahn," he explains. "Cos we wasn't Cockernee enough at the highest levels." Barbara Windsor arrives on a five-year deal.

 

September 2013: Life in the Championship is tough for Babs and assistant manager Phil Mitchell, and a falling-out with Mike Ashley is inevitable after the duo fail to deliver the Nobel Prize For Literature success that is Newcastle supporters' birthright. "Leave it Phil, eee ain't worf it," screams Babs, as a tearful Phil tries to attack Ashley, but gets stuck in his panel van, which has been boxed in at the Newcastle carpark by a giant mobile whelk stand.

 

June 2014: Mike Ashley attempts to appoint Dick Van Dyke as boss, but is rebuffed by the board who explain that "he is a fictional character". Ashley retorts: "So was Kevin Keegan." The club once again fail to win the US Presidential election, leading to outbreaks of crying Geordies in Washington DC.

 

October 2014: After a briefly successful period when the club is managed by An Old Joanna, drastic action is needed with the club once again struggling in the third tier. New manager Danny Dyer complains: "There's some well tasty fixtures comin'' up and no mistake, 'ave a banana. Wycombe Wanderers away? Nawty, nawty, boys. Tasty, tasty, meaty, beaty, big and bouncy them lads are. Gertcha!" However, Dyer resigns in tears "after a ball girl looks at him in a threatening manner" at AFC Bournemouth.

 

December 2016: Eric Bristow cannot revive Newcastle's fortunes, and they plummet into the old fourth division. With what many Cockney experts are describing from the driver's seats of their cab as "a last frow of the dice, me old son. Yeah, King Cross to Euston, of course the quickest way's via Clapham, wot are you, some sort of tourist. That's a monkey to you, you caahnt, have a good day mate." Ashley plays his ace: the reanimated corpse of Mike Reid is appointed Director Of Football and Market Stalls and the search begins, once again, for a manager.

:razz:

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Christmas Tree

Christmas Tree 3997

Posted
Posted
Quite clever PR from the club making him do the conference by himself. No photos of him and Derek grinning together, lessens the perception that he's their man etc.

 

Might all be accidental like, but if not it was a good idea.

 

I can imagine the conversation just before they went into the press conference.

 

Pardew: "Are you coming in with me Derek?"

Derek: "Oh, erm, yeah I..I just need to get something from the car. Be right back."

*Patter of running feet, car door slamming, car driving away, plane taking off*

 

 

:razz::razz::D

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LeazesMag

LeazesMag 0

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WOULD YOU TWO SHUT THE FUCK UP

 

jesus christ every bloody thread, should've kept skidmark banned at least that stopped the majority of this shit

Sick of it noo me like, truly.

Leazes must just be some young kid, man. Absolutely no idea what he's talking about. I've used this site about 2 month now and all I've read from him is wet shite.

 

I actually think in this case he knows he's wrong, and just not wanting to give in.

 

I'm absolutely right lad.

 

Highlight what I say is shite if you don't mind ? And show how....

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LeazesMag

LeazesMag 0

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Anyone any idea how many season ticket holders there is now? The numbers of casual ticket buyers, myself included, is going to take a pretty big hit over the next few months I'd imagine.

 

is this the beginning of a spectacular u-turn ?

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LeazesMag

LeazesMag 0

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It's all kicking off on here today like.

There's been only one arranged net fight on here to me knowledge.

 

Who was that between ?

When J69 said he wanted to batter me.

He's said similar to me, as it happens :razz:

 

wasn't it you and HTL ?

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Guest alex

Guest alex

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It's all kicking off on here today like.

There's been only one arranged net fight on here to me knowledge.

 

Who was that between ?

When J69 said he wanted to batter me.

He's said similar to me, as it happens :razz:

 

wasn't it you and HTL ?

Forgot about that one :razz:

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LeazesMag

LeazesMag 0

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Where are all the WUM's? Thought we'd be absolutely inundated by now, yet all we've really had is CT :razz:

 

I take it that, ref earlier in the thread, you understand by now - finally - that it isn't the "plan" that matters but the person ?

 

Serious comment. I'm wondering if you actually have actually woken up yet.

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LeazesMag

LeazesMag 0

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Posted
It's all kicking off on here today like.

There's been only one arranged net fight on here to me knowledge.

 

Who was that between ?

When J69 said he wanted to batter me.

He's said similar to me, as it happens :razz:

 

wasn't it you and HTL ?

Forgot about that one :razz:

 

 

the only one I was aware of, apart from skidmarks saying he would leave the board if he lost his cyberfight :D

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