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Joelinton

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1 hour ago, Noelie said:

Question.

                What Newcastle No.9 has had the longest goal-drought?

Jackie Milburn? 

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i appreciate this is hardly an exact science, however just for a chuckle....

 

playing for a premier league team against 3rd division opponents our £40m (i know) brazilian is notchimg up goals at the incredible rate of 1 in 3.

equate this scintilating strike rate to the 27 games played by our mackem mates regular opponents and he'd be on 9.

a quick look at the third division scoring chart means he'd be in joint 11th place with 7 other fuckers i've never heard of.

well, apart from sunderland's chris maguire, who i think they all hated but now probably think is the dogs bollocks because he's better than charlie wyke.

interestingly, joelinton's 1 goal for every 270 minutes played compares very poorly with those he's vying with in 11th place; so perhaps he's not even that good?

lastly, top goal scorer in the 3rd division is ivan toney on 18. twice as many as that projected for our transfer record shattering striker. toney is knocking them in at the rate of 1 in 134 minutes, twice as quickly as our former hoffenheim, bundesliga superstar.

just for further comparison, toney reportedy cost peterborough in the region of £650,000

i wonder if things are a bit strained between our mikey and nickson?

 

:icon_lol:

  • Haha 2

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On 15/01/2020 at 10:34, Dr Gloom said:

the goal-fest for big Joe starts here

Scored two yesterday 

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We need to employ a ball boy to blow a whistle before every shot he takes. That’s thirty goals a season right there.

Edited by ewerk

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1 hour ago, ewerk said:

We need to employ a ball boy to blow a whistle before every shot he takes. That’s thirty goals a season right there.

 

in my sports science like analysis of projected goal scoring figures for joelinton in the third tier of english football i discovered that peterborough supporters sang a song about ivan toney having a big knob. this may or may not have helped toney to hit the ground running with 7 goals in the first 7 games.

regardless of whether joelinton has a big cock or not a favourable ditty that he has could very easily see the goals start flowing?

also, it'd be more pleasing to the ear than 'brucey giz a wave' maybe.

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5 hours ago, Ayatollah Hermione said:

Doesn't even have to be about him having a massive cock. It could just be a song about him being mint at licking out.

Joelinton! Woa-oa-oah!

Joelinton! Woa-oa-oah!

At scoring goals he's shit!

But he's a maestro at the clit!

(Repeat to fade).

  • Haha 2

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4 hours ago, Howmanheyman said:

Joelinton! Woa-oa-oah!

Joelinton! Woa-oa-oah!

At scoring goals he's shit!

But he's a maestro at the clit!

(Repeat to fade).

Joelinton! Woa-oa-oah!

Joelinton! Woa-oa-oah!

Ashley finally splashed the cash

On a player who’s total gash

Joelinton! Woa-oa-oah!

Joelinton! Woa-oa-oah!

His shooting makes me cringe 

He’d rather munch some minge 

  • Haha 1

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all subjective of course, but this is just one list of many of footballing flops...

 

https://www.90min.com/posts/6272728-30-of-the-worst-signings-in-football-history

 

some noteable premier league striking inclusions...

shevchenko to chelsea

torres to chelsea

mutu to chelsea

benteke to liverpool

alves to middlesbrough

jo to manchester city

soldado to tottenham

carroll to liverpool (ranked no.1)

 

all of the above have a superior record for their clubs than joelinton has for us.

bearing in mind the above list was made in early 2019, is it not beyond the bounds of possibility that in a new list joelinton could leap straight to the top of the charts as the biggest flop in football history?!

 

 

 

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9 minutes ago, thebrokendoll said:

all subjective of course, but this is just one list of many of footballing flops...

 

https://www.90min.com/posts/6272728-30-of-the-worst-signings-in-football-history

 

some noteable premier league striking inclusions...

shevchenko to chelsea

torres to chelsea

mutu to chelsea

benteke to liverpool

alves to middlesbrough

jo to manchester city

soldado to tottenham

carroll to liverpool (ranked no.1)

 

all of the above have a superior record for their clubs than joelinton has for us.

bearing in mind the above list was made in early 2019, is it not beyond the bounds of possibility that in a new list joelinton could leap straight to the top of the charts as the biggest flop in football history?!

 

 

 

Liverpool signings one and two on that list is rather funny.

 

Some of the players on that list when on to different clubs and achieved great things, i doubt Joelinton will.:icon_lol:

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I think he is yet to find the right partner in a double act. Toshack and Keegan or Rooney and Tevez some players need to have an understanding with someone in particular.  He has height and strength and his overall game  seems ok its just his choice of movement off the ball taking him away from his mission as a striker. I would like to think it will work itself out somehow.

Edited by 37quidman
better choice of words

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10 minutes ago, 37quidman said:

I think he is yet to find the right partner in a double act. Toshack and Keegan or Rooney and Tevez some players need to have an understanding with someone in particular.  He has height and strength and his overall game  seems ok its just his choice of movement off the ball taking him away from his mission as a striker. I would like to think it will work itself out somehow.

His overall game is ok? So his trapping, passing, tackling, close control, reading of the game etc are all ok?

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varies from game to game, not ideal by any stretch of the imagination, but he is young, big, fit, and has assisted play in some big games.. needs time. Drop him if you like, but dont give up on him

Edited by 37quidman

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While I don’t think he’s very good he managed 7 in the Bundesliga last year, and his confidence by this point is shot to shit.
The bigger problem iyam is the formation isn’t working yet Bruce keeps persisting with it and with the same players in the same positions. Like I say I don’t think he’s that good but I also don’t think he’s as bad as he looks at the minute, which applies to basically the whole squad really. 

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When he drifts away from the  centre forward  position he still looks  clueless,that’s why I have serious doubts whether he’ll ever be good enough.He’s never impressed on the ball,facing the opposition.He’s never impressed with his crossing or passing.He’s never taken a man on and convincingly beat him.He’s dross in the air.Is he doing ‘ A Shola’ , jumping and intentionally  missing the ball .His hold up play is as bad as I’ve seen.His chest control is as bad as I’ve seen.He’s certainly no Wyn Davies in that respect !!! ( ask your Dad ) .

We all hope he improves to a level where he is an asset to the team but he’s a million miles away from that.

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already in troduced myself on the introductions thread. If you are going to attempt to gang up on me in true internet message board fanny style then crack on. If the flack gets really bad I will act like a submissive dog and roll over and pull out the fact that my ancestry hails from Pelaw.

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I wouldnt pay 37 quid to go to the stadium of light because its a new stadium and I have little to no interest in new stadiums, its an age thing. I would pay 37 quid to go to say Newcastle or Leeds, because these are the grounds that I went to on the specials as a teenager. These places still hold a historical interest to me. New stadiums don't.

Edited by 37quidman

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