Monkeys Fist 38767 Posted November 15, 2021 Share Posted November 15, 2021 “ Sorry mate, that’s a £50 cleaning charge.…” 3 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Ayatollah Hermione 12767 Posted November 15, 2021 Share Posted November 15, 2021 Maybe it was a Fake Taxi and it all got out of hand. 2 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
The Fish 8989 Posted November 15, 2021 Share Posted November 15, 2021 21 minutes ago, Ayatollah Hermione said: Maybe it was a Fake Taxi and it all got out of hand. A Blow (up) Job? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
spongebob toonpants 3603 Posted November 15, 2021 Share Posted November 15, 2021 (edited) 3 hours ago, The Fish said: You get a hamster stuck up your shitter or something? Dogs are mint, better than people and no mistake. Cats also disgusting. Pretty sure this evil monster from next door knows how I feel Edited November 15, 2021 by spongebob toonpants Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
The Fish 8989 Posted November 15, 2021 Share Posted November 15, 2021 Oh Cats can fucking do one, but Dogs... Dogs are brilliant. We're going to have the kitchen done, but as soon as that's done we're getting a cockapoo, a cavapoo, a bordoodle or something similar. You know why? Dogs are mint and you're wrong. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Renton 17782 Posted November 15, 2021 Share Posted November 15, 2021 (edited) 25 minutes ago, The Fish said: Oh Cats can fucking do one, but Dogs... Dogs are brilliant. We're going to have the kitchen done, but as soon as that's done we're getting a cockapoo, a cavapoo, a bordoodle or something similar. You know why? Dogs are mint and you're wrong. I'm not keen on dogs, but live and let live (but keep the fuckers on leads in parks). However, it amazes me the hassle and expense you dog owners put up with. Buying the animal, vet fees, insurance, dog pounds if you go on holiday. And the inevitable bereavement when they die. WHo needs that? And then, you actually pick up its shit. Think about that. You pick up dog shit. Fuck. That. Edited November 15, 2021 by Renton 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Dr Gloom 19825 Posted November 15, 2021 Share Posted November 15, 2021 I didn't realise Renton was of Asian heritage 2 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Ayatollah Hermione 12767 Posted November 15, 2021 Share Posted November 15, 2021 Cats are mint, man. They just roam about sniffing things and then sleep most of the day. The odd meow when they want a pat on the head, easily distracted by shoelaces to save money on proper toys. Piece of piss. 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Gemmill 34464 Posted November 15, 2021 Share Posted November 15, 2021 2 cats and a dog here. Far preferable to all of your kids. Renton thinks you send your dog to the "dog pound" when you go on holiday. Dog Pound is your new rapper name. 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Renton 17782 Posted November 15, 2021 Share Posted November 15, 2021 29 minutes ago, Gemmill said: 2 cats and a dog here. Far preferable to all of your kids. Renton thinks you send your dog to the "dog pound" when you go on holiday. Dog Pound is your new rapper name. No doubt you send them to some pooch pamper palace? Expensive, anyway. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Kid Dynamite 5908 Posted November 15, 2021 Share Posted November 15, 2021 I'm with you Renton. Fuck getting out of bed on my day off to walk the dog. Cat flap installed and neighbours do a twice daily feed when we are away. That's about as difficult as it gets looking after a cat Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Gemmill 34464 Posted November 15, 2021 Share Posted November 15, 2021 24 minutes ago, Renton said: No doubt you send them to some pooch pamper palace? Expensive, anyway. Aye but look at him though. He's the absolute daddy. 2 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
The Fish 8989 Posted November 15, 2021 Share Posted November 15, 2021 1 hour ago, Renton said: I'm not keen on dogs, but live and let live (but keep the fuckers on leads in parks). However, it amazes me the hassle and expense you dog owners put up with. Buying the animal, vet fees, insurance, dog pounds if you go on holiday. And the inevitable bereavement when they die. WHo needs that? And then, you actually pick up its shit. Think about that. You pick up dog shit. Fuck. That. Yeah, why love something if it's going to die at some point?! Don't cat owners have to clean out their pets shit from a little tray that they keep INSIDE THE FUCKING HOUSE?? 2 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
The Fish 8989 Posted November 15, 2021 Share Posted November 15, 2021 Walking a dog is excellent for your mental health. Much better than having a cat ignore you, shred your sofa, then push your Alexa off the counter to it's doom. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Kid Dynamite 5908 Posted November 15, 2021 Share Posted November 15, 2021 7 minutes ago, The Fish said: Walking a dog is excellent for your mental health. Much better than having a cat ignore you, shred your sofa, then push your Alexa off the counter to it's doom. Being me is more excellent for your mental health to tbh. It wouldn't be fair if I got more mentally well 2 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Christmas Tree 3997 Posted November 15, 2021 Share Posted November 15, 2021 6 minutes ago, The Fish said: Walking a dog is excellent for your mental health. We’ve got people coming this afternoon and as she can very excitable I decided to give “Marley” an extra long walk to tire the fucker out. Little twat decides to roll in fox shit 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
The Fish 8989 Posted November 15, 2021 Share Posted November 15, 2021 8 minutes ago, Christmas Tree said: We’ve got people coming this afternoon and as she can very excitable I decided to give “Marley” an extra long walk to tire the fucker out. Little twat decides to roll in fox shit Were you talking to her? If so, I can fully understand. 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Renton 17782 Posted November 15, 2021 Share Posted November 15, 2021 42 minutes ago, The Fish said: Walking a dog is excellent for your mental health. Much better than having a cat ignore you, shred your sofa, then push your Alexa off the counter to it's doom. I love this excuse. You can always just go for a walk yourself you know. Go where you like. Not have to put up with your dog sniffing every other dogs' arse, worried about it being attacked or attacking another dog or cat, getting hassled by people and having to do small talk, and, most of all, not having to pick up its shit, literally. As for the point about loving something that's going to die, well that's why you should try where possible to love things that will outlive you. Children and trophy wives*. * Too late for me to follow this advice now. 2 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
spongebob toonpants 3603 Posted November 15, 2021 Share Posted November 15, 2021 Rents is right! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Gemmill 34464 Posted November 15, 2021 Share Posted November 15, 2021 Dogs are great, cats are great, pets in general are great. Only the weird don't like them. Seriously Renton, get your kids some pets or they WILL grow up to be weird, like you. Everybody has dogs these days. Eventually your daughter with the fear of dogs is gonna want to go to sleepovers at a friend's house with a dog. Or a party at a house where a dog lives. The best thing you could do for her is get her a puppy. Do it now. Do it tonight. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Gemmill 34464 Posted November 15, 2021 Share Posted November 15, 2021 3 minutes ago, spongebob toonpants said: Rents is soulless! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
TheGingerQuiff 2412 Posted November 15, 2021 Share Posted November 15, 2021 I've had the same dog shit bag for years, a prop solely for the benefit of anybody nearby. The routine of bending over and then tying a knot in the empty bag is now so entrenched that I am more accomplished at performing the role than William Roache is at playing Ken Barlow. 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Monkeys Fist 38767 Posted November 15, 2021 Share Posted November 15, 2021 This fucking retard brings shame to the Canid family. If he went up against an amoeba in an IQ test he’d have his arse handed to him. 1 2 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Blastronaut 1236 Posted November 15, 2021 Share Posted November 15, 2021 Our cat is a wee dick like, I can't stand him but since our neighbours have been really vocal about how much they hate cats I've been seriously considering getting another one. 5 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Monkeys Fist 38767 Posted November 15, 2021 Share Posted November 15, 2021 That’s Pro- level pettiness. Nice one Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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