Gemmill 53516 Posted December 11, 2023 Share Posted December 11, 2023 I think they went for An Audience with Kylie as the title. Snappier than yours. 3 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Howmanheyman 38632 Posted December 11, 2023 Share Posted December 11, 2023 23 minutes ago, wykikitoon said: Our lass watched Kylie last night. Basically it was Kylie (shes got some right thighs on her now) with a bunch of celebrities who've no doubt paid fuck all singing and bum slapping each other. Even now she's starting to show her age..... 5 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Holden McGroin 8222 Posted December 11, 2023 Share Posted December 11, 2023 On 10/12/2023 at 00:30, Renton said: Welcome to a world of pain anyway. Mine is half tracker, half fixed (for 2 more years I think). 14 successive rises on the former, about 500 quid per month I think in total. 6k a year ffs.on top of energy and food. Got credit card debts as well, honestly never felt poorer*. * Realise these are first world problems for me, there are the nice things I can cut out or reduce. A lot of people with mortgages are going to be fucked rhough when they negotiate their next deal. Thanks Liz. You need to start gambling Renton…and I have a little inside knowledge for you. Lump on a months salary on whoever Newcastle play away….sorted. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Monkeys Fist 47046 Posted December 11, 2023 Share Posted December 11, 2023 4 hours ago, Holden McGroin said: You need to start gambling Renton…and I have a little inside knowledge for you. Lump on a months salary on whoever Newcastle play away….sorted. You seen Renton’s gaff? Not even a successful gambling habit would raise enough for the heating and window cleaning bills… 7 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Meenzer 16941 Posted December 11, 2023 Share Posted December 11, 2023 That must have been taken a while back - I can see you nearby, preparing to wipe, but you've still got a full head of hair. 6 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Renton 24865 Posted December 11, 2023 Share Posted December 11, 2023 22 minutes ago, Meenzer said: That must have been taken a while back - I can see you nearby, preparing to wipe, but you've still got a full head of hair. I read that as a nod to his window cleaning days but no, this is toontastic, and its a reference to MF having a shite. The filthy stander. 2 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Dazzler 12985 Posted December 11, 2023 Share Posted December 11, 2023 22 minutes ago, Meenzer said: That must have been taken a while back - I can see you nearby, preparing to wipe, but you've still got a full head of hair. He's just launched a roll of old carpet over the barrier which may or may not have the choked body of a local prostitute inside. 5 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Monkeys Fist 47046 Posted December 11, 2023 Share Posted December 11, 2023 1 minute ago, Dazzler said: He's just launched a roll of old carpet over the barrier which may or may not have the choked body of a local prostitute inside. I WILL NOT be accused of littering!!! 3 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Dazzler 12985 Posted December 11, 2023 Share Posted December 11, 2023 2 minutes ago, Monkeys Fist said: I WILL NOT be accused of littering!!! Not in broad daylight at least. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Monkeys Fist 47046 Posted December 11, 2023 Share Posted December 11, 2023 Had a drop at Central Station in town today. Parked at the top end nearest the Life Centre, unloaded, rang the number to find out where they wanted it. Me-“ Hello, I’m at the staff car park with your pallet, where would you like it?” TAFMG* “ Errh, I’m near the Hotel…” Me “ Oh, OK, which hotel?” TAFMG “ The one next door” Me - “ Next door to the station, ok, are you at the hotel or at the station?” TAFMG -“ I’m on me own “ Me * muttering “ Jesus-titty-fucking-christ… Erm, Ok mate, if you tell me where you are I’ll come to you. “ TAFMG- “ I’m next to the Hotel” Me, now thinking I’m actually dealing with a special needs lad-“ Ok mate, can you see the buses where you are, or can you see the trains?” TAFMG - “ No, I’m near the hotel” Eventually found the fucker, at the other end of the station, in the goods yard next to the Long Stay car park. Not special needs, he was just, without a shadow of a doubt, the stupidest fucker on these fair isles. * Thick As Fucking Mince Gadgie 5 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Kevin Carr's Gloves 4484 Posted December 11, 2023 Share Posted December 11, 2023 54 minutes ago, Monkeys Fist said: Had a drop at Central Station in town today. Parked at the top end nearest the Life Centre, unloaded, rang the number to find out where they wanted it. Me-“ Hello, I’m at the staff car park with your pallet, where would you like it?” TAFMG* “ Errh, I’m near the Hotel…” Me “ Oh, OK, which hotel?” TAFMG “ The one next door” Me - “ Next door to the station, ok, are you at the hotel or at the station?” TAFMG -“ I’m on me own “ Me * muttering “ Jesus-titty-fucking-christ… Erm, Ok mate, if you tell me where you are I’ll come to you. “ TAFMG- “ I’m next to the Hotel” Me, now thinking I’m actually dealing with a special needs lad-“ Ok mate, can you see the buses where you are, or can you see the trains?” TAFMG - “ No, I’m near the hotel” Eventually found the fucker, at the other end of the station, in the goods yard next to the Long Stay car park. Not special needs, he was just, without a shadow of a doubt, the stupidest fucker on these fair isles. * Thick As Fucking Mince Gadgie @LongTimeAdmirer what did you get? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Monkeys Fist 47046 Posted December 11, 2023 Share Posted December 11, 2023 10 minutes ago, Kevin Carr's Gloves said: @LongTimeAdmirer what did you get? 2 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
ewerk 34863 Posted December 11, 2023 Share Posted December 11, 2023 You finally found goods in at the goods yard? 3 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Monkeys Fist 47046 Posted December 11, 2023 Share Posted December 11, 2023 16 minutes ago, ewerk said: You finally found goods in at the goods yard? Of course, it’s 5 minutes and 43 seconds until Judge Wapner … Wapner, five forty three. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
RobinRobin 13184 Posted December 12, 2023 Share Posted December 12, 2023 One for @Monkeys Fist https://www.abc.net.au/news/2023-12-12/big-lebowski-gear-et-animatronic-head-to-go-under-the-hammer/103220828 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Monkeys Fist 47046 Posted December 12, 2023 Share Posted December 12, 2023 9 hours ago, RobinRobin said: One for @Monkeys Fist https://www.abc.net.au/news/2023-12-12/big-lebowski-gear-et-animatronic-head-to-go-under-the-hammer/103220828 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Kid Dynamite 8081 Posted December 12, 2023 Share Posted December 12, 2023 On 10/12/2023 at 00:30, Renton said: Welcome to a world of pain anyway. Mine is half tracker, half fixed (for 2 more years I think). 14 successive rises on the former, about 500 quid per month I think in total. 6k a year ffs.on top of energy and food. Got credit card debts as well, honestly never felt poorer*. * Realise these are first world problems for me, there are the nice things I can cut out or reduce. A lot of people with mortgages are going to be fucked rhough when they negotiate their next deal. Thanks Liz. Im trying to see it as a glass half full. I've only got half my mortgage going up, and hoping the rates drop when the other half is due in 2 years! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Gemmill 53516 Posted December 13, 2023 Share Posted December 13, 2023 The national obesity crisis has reached the avian world now too. Look at his belly hanging over the fence. Resting his head on his tits. 4 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
ewerk 34863 Posted December 13, 2023 Share Posted December 13, 2023 ‘Sorry boss, I can’t make the Christmas party, some fat cunt pigeon has landed on my fence so I’m spending all afternoon taking the piss out of it’. 6 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Dazzler 12985 Posted December 13, 2023 Share Posted December 13, 2023 He's got one of them flat heads on the top too. A quick bic of that and the fat cunt is ready to march against Muslim grooming gangs with his EDL brothers. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Monkeys Fist 47046 Posted December 13, 2023 Share Posted December 13, 2023 3 hours ago, Gemmill said: The national obesity crisis has reached the avian world now too. Look at his belly hanging over the fence. Resting his head on his tits. One of his shithawk pals showed him this… ” Here, Percy, ya kite is aal awa the web mate” Percy now sucks in his belly when out on car-painting missions 3 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
PaddockLad 20138 Posted December 15, 2023 Share Posted December 15, 2023 I imagine we’re now one day closer to possibly seeing that fucking cunt Morgan in the dock . Can’t say I’d want to have a pint with the Duke but am loving seeing him hunt that bastard down 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Howmanheyman 38632 Posted December 15, 2023 Share Posted December 15, 2023 As it's Christmas.... I like to think this lad's poor old dad was a Bob Cratchit figure who worked for ewerk but had a good Christmas that year. 4 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
The Fish 11523 Posted December 15, 2023 Share Posted December 15, 2023 Sly Bailey and Marcus Partington? Are these baddies from Paddington Bear or something? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Gemmill 53516 Posted December 15, 2023 Share Posted December 15, 2023 Sly Bailey is CT's Christmas drink of choice. 4 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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