General Random Conversation..

[strawb 3660]

Speaking to my old man today, when he just got with my mam they took his nana out for dinner. She ordered a quiche but pronounced it quicky.

 

General random conversation.

[adios 717]

 Bad jokes thread?

[Renton 17811]

Are you sure she didn't just want a quicky?

[wykikitoon 16703]

[adios 717]

[Monkeys Fist 38786]

What have professional horse racers got to do with it?

[adios 717]

You've completely lost me I'm afraid.

[Renton 17811]

What's a jockey between friends?

 

Fuck knows....

[ewerk 26413]

Quiche -> quicky

Joke -> jockey

I'm guessing. Either way MF is losing his touch

Edited October 26, 2016 by ewerk

[Monkeys Fist 38786]

I have the best jokes.

[Kid Dynamite 5933]

Surely Quiche said quickly sounds like kiss?

[Alex 30440]

Thought this was canny, about a Sicilian photographer famous for her Mafia photos. Reminded me of Weegee's work:

http://www.bbc.co.uk/news/in-pictures-37749921

[adios 717]

Quiche -> quicky

 

Joke -> jockey

 

I'm guessing. Either way MF is losing his touch

Feck me, I'm slow on the uptake.

[adios 717]

I liked it btw.

[Monkeys Fist 38786]

I liked it btw.

[Rayvin 4964]

 

The standard of jokes on here has been shocking recently. Worse than usual and that's saying something.

[adios 717]

You should try living on the continent if you think that's poor humour.

 

What's Chinese banter like?

[Howmanheyman 26898]

You should try living on the continent if you think that's poor humour.

 

What's Chinese banter like?

'Man who fish in other man's pond, often only catch crabs. Amalite?'

[Rayvin 4964]

 

Never been asked that. They have puns and word-play so it's kind of similar to ours. They lack the desolate, embracing-of-the-void style gallows humour of the Europeans though.

 

So for instance, they have a finite number of word sounds, or syllables; English has as many as you can think of, but they're forced to combine the same sounds to make different meanings. Their verb for 'to be' is 'shi'. Shi can also (out of context) mean city, a grammatical particle, certain animals, and the number 10.

 

Therefore, there is a Chinese poem that is made up entirely of the syllable 'shi'. It's multiple lines long, is ridiculous, but actually makes sense. The Chinese find it hilarious:

 

Transcript (traditional Chinese):
《施氏食獅史》
石室詩士施氏，嗜獅，誓食十獅。
氏時時適市視獅。
十時，適十獅適市。
是時，適施氏適市。
氏視是十獅，恃矢勢，使是十獅逝世。
氏拾是十獅屍，適石室。
石室濕，氏使侍拭石室。
石室拭，氏始試食是十獅。
食時，始識是十獅屍，實十石獅屍。
試釋是事。

Phonetically spelled:
« Shī Shì shí shī shǐ »
Shíshì shīshì Shī Shì, shì shī, shì shí shí shī.
Shì shíshí shì shì shì shī.
Shí shí, shì shí shī shì shì.
Shì shí, shì Shī Shì shì shì.
Shì shì shì shí shī, shì shǐ shì, shǐ shì shí shī shìshì.
Shì shí shì shí shī shī, shì shíshì.
Shíshì shī, Shì shǐ shì shì shíshì.
Shíshì shì, Shì shǐ shì shí shì shí shī.
Shí shí, shǐ shí shì shí shī, shí shí shí shī shī.
Shì shì shì shì.

Translation:
« Lion-Eating Poet in the Stone Den »
In a stone den was a poet called Shi, who was a lion addict, and had resolved to eat ten lions.
He often went to the market to look for lions.
At ten o'clock, ten lions had just arrived at the market.
At that time, Shi had just arrived at the market.
He saw those ten lions, and using his trusty arrows, caused the ten lions to die.
He brought the corpses of the ten lions to the stone den.
The stone den was damp. He asked his servants to wipe it.
After the stone den was wiped, he tried to eat those ten lions.
When he ate, he realized that these ten lions were in fact ten stone lion corpses.
Try to explain this matter.

[Howmanheyman 26898]

 

Never been asked that. They have puns and word-play so it's kind of similar to ours. They lack the desolate, embracing-of-the-void style gallows humour of the Europeans though.

 

So for instance, they have a finite number of word sounds, or syllables; English has as many as you can think of, but they're forced to combine the same sounds to make different meanings. Their verb for 'to be' is 'shi'. Shi can also (out of context) mean city, a grammatical particle, certain animals, and the number 10.

 

Therefore, there is a Chinese poem that is made up entirely of the syllable 'shi'. It's multiple lines long, is ridiculous, but actually makes sense. The Chinese find it hilarious:

 

Transcript (traditional Chinese):

《施氏食獅史》

石室詩士施氏，嗜獅，誓食十獅。

氏時時適市視獅。

十時，適十獅適市。

是時，適施氏適市。

氏視是十獅，恃矢勢，使是十獅逝世。

氏拾是十獅屍，適石室。

石室濕，氏使侍拭石室。

石室拭，氏始試食是十獅。

食時，始識是十獅屍，實十石獅屍。

試釋是事。

 

Phonetically spelled:

« Shī Shì shí shī shǐ »

Shíshì shīshì Shī Shì, shì shī, shì shí shí shī.

Shì shíshí shì shì shì shī.

Shí shí, shì shí shī shì shì.

Shì shí, shì Shī Shì shì shì.

Shì shì shì shí shī, shì shǐ shì, shǐ shì shí shī shìshì.

Shì shí shì shí shī shī, shì shíshì.

Shíshì shī, Shì shǐ shì shì shíshì.

Shíshì shì, Shì shǐ shì shí shì shí shī.

Shí shí, shǐ shí shì shí shī, shí shí shí shī shī.

Shì shì shì shì.

 

Translation:

« Lion-Eating Poet in the Stone Den »

In a stone den was a poet called Shi, who was a lion addict, and had resolved to eat ten lions.

He often went to the market to look for lions.

At ten o'clock, ten lions had just arrived at the market.

At that time, Shi had just arrived at the market.

He saw those ten lions, and using his trusty arrows, caused the ten lions to die.

He brought the corpses of the ten lions to the stone den.

The stone den was damp. He asked his servants to wipe it.

After the stone den was wiped, he tried to eat those ten lions.

When he ate, he realized that these ten lions were in fact ten stone lion corpses.

Try to explain this matter.

To be fair, it's no worse than Michael McIntire.

[ewerk 26413]

 

Translation:

« Lion-Eating Poet in the Stone Den »

In a stone den was a poet called Shi, who was a lion addict, and had resolved to eat ten lions.

He often went to the market to look for lions.

At ten o'clock, ten lions had just arrived at the market.

At that time, Shi had just arrived at the market.

He saw those ten lions, and using his trusty arrows, caused the ten lions to die.

He brought the corpses of the ten lions to the stone den.

The stone den was damp. He asked his servants to wipe it.

After the stone den was wiped, he tried to eat those ten lions.

When he ate, he realized that these ten lions were in fact ten stone lion corpses.

Try to explain this matter.

 

[Rayvin 4964]

Exactly.

[Meenzer 14055]

« Shī Shì shí shī shǐ »

Shíshì shīshì Shī Shì, shì shī, shì shí shí shī.

Shì shíshí shì shì shì shī.

Shí shí, shì shí shī shì shì.

Shì shí, shì Shī Shì shì shì.

Shì shì shì shí shī, shì shǐ shì, shǐ shì shí shī shìshì.

Shì shí shì shí shī shī, shì shíshì.

Shíshì shī, Shì shǐ shì shì shíshì.

Shíshì shì, Shì shǐ shì shí shì shí shī.

Shí shí, shǐ shí shì shí shī, shí shí shí shī shī.

Shì shì shì shì.

 

 

Shine on.

[Rayvin 4964]

 

I was gonna post a video of someone saying it but really, it's not worth watching.

 

To be fair to them though, Hong Kong comedy films have always been pretty good. Kung Fu Hustle is superb

[adios 717]

 

Never been asked that. They have puns and word-play so it's kind of similar to ours. They lack the desolate, embracing-of-the-void style gallows humour of the Europeans though.

 

So for instance, they have a finite number of word sounds, or syllables; English has as many as you can think of, but they're forced to combine the same sounds to make different meanings. Their verb for 'to be' is 'shi'. Shi can also (out of context) mean city, a grammatical particle, certain animals, and the number 10.

 

Therefore, there is a Chinese poem that is made up entirely of the syllable 'shi'. It's multiple lines long, is ridiculous, but actually makes sense. The Chinese find it hilarious:

 

Transcript (traditional Chinese):

《施氏食獅史》

石室詩士施氏，嗜獅，誓食十獅。

氏時時適市視獅。

十時，適十獅適市。

是時，適施氏適市。

氏視是十獅，恃矢勢，使是十獅逝世。

氏拾是十獅屍，適石室。

石室濕，氏使侍拭石室。

石室拭，氏始試食是十獅。

食時，始識是十獅屍，實十石獅屍。

試釋是事。

 

Phonetically spelled:

« Shī Shì shí shī shǐ »

Shíshì shīshì Shī Shì, shì shī, shì shí shí shī.

Shì shíshí shì shì shì shī.

Shí shí, shì shí shī shì shì.

Shì shí, shì Shī Shì shì shì.

Shì shì shì shí shī, shì shǐ shì, shǐ shì shí shī shìshì.

Shì shí shì shí shī shī, shì shíshì.

Shíshì shī, Shì shǐ shì shì shíshì.

Shíshì shì, Shì shǐ shì shí shì shí shī.

Shí shí, shǐ shí shì shí shī, shí shí shí shī shī.

Shì shì shì shì.

 

Translation:

« Lion-Eating Poet in the Stone Den »

In a stone den was a poet called Shi, who was a lion addict, and had resolved to eat ten lions.

He often went to the market to look for lions.

At ten o'clock, ten lions had just arrived at the market.

At that time, Shi had just arrived at the market.

He saw those ten lions, and using his trusty arrows, caused the ten lions to die.

He brought the corpses of the ten lions to the stone den.

The stone den was damp. He asked his servants to wipe it.

After the stone den was wiped, he tried to eat those ten lions.

When he ate, he realized that these ten lions were in fact ten stone lion corpses.

Try to explain this matter.

 Quality banter.

 

I find the gallows/sardonic humour to be unique to Ireland/UK/Australia for the most part, and it's one of the reasons I ultimately find it difficult to live anywhere else.