Howmanheyman

Not sure if I've posted it before but..... Queen Victoria gets shown around the field hospital in some far flung part of the empire to boost the morale of the wounded soldiers, a finely moustachioed Sergeant Major showing her around. (Wails, moans!) QV: "Oh my goodness! What is wrong with this poor fellow?" SM: (Shouting) "Hemorrhoids, Ma'am!" QV: "Oh dear. What is the medical treatment, Sergeant Major?" SM: (Shouting) "Wire brush and dettol, Ma'am! Scrub it out of 'em!" QV: "Oh dear, that sounds very painful. What are your hopes my good man?" Groaning Soldier: "Arrgh! Nnnnnn! To, (gasp) get better and, arghh....fight for Queen and country, your Majesty." QV: "ooh that's so nice of you, here's a medal for your bravery." She pins a medal on his chest and moves to the next bed. (More wails, moans and groans). QV: "Oh my goodness! What is wrong with this poor chap?" SM: (Shouting) "Crabs, Ma'am!" QV: "Oh my goodness. What is the medical treatment, Sergeant Major?" SM: (Shouting) "Wire brush and dettol, Ma'am! Scrub it out of 'em!" QV: "Oh dear, that sounds very painful. What are your hopes my good man?" 2nd Groaning Soldier: "Arrgh! Nnnnnn! To, (gasp) get better and, arghh....fight for Queen and country, your Majesty." QV: "ooh that's so nice of you too! Here's a well deserved medal for your bravery." She then moves on to the end bed and Wee Paddy of the Irish Guards. (More wails, moans and groans). QV: "Oh my goodness! What is wrong with this poor fellow? He doesn't look too well at all!" SM: (Shouting) "Tonsillitis, Ma'am!" QV: "Oh dear. What is the medical treatment, Sergeant Major?" SM: (Shouting) "Wire brush and dettol, Ma'am! Scrub it out of 'em!" QV: "Oh that sounds so very painful. What are your hopes my good man?" Paddy of the Irish Guards: "Arrgh! Nnnnnn! To, (gasp) get, (arrrgh) the wire brush and dettol before them Dorty bastards, Ma'am!"

Excellent! My Mam just had scans, bloods etc and there's no trace of her cancer cells after her Op and chemotherapy too. It's a relief.

I hope CT never changes tbh.

It's a worry what booby traps the cunt would leave and whether that would put people off.

I wondered at the time you put pics up of it on here how long it would be till you sold it. PL's pimped up van.

Gotham town was shit, years since I've been in there. My biggest memory of it is walking past to go on nightshift when we played the mackems in the Gullit/Shearer fiasco. Pretty sure it was 1-1 when I left the house and I got off the bus, looked in at the telly to see the score. Bastards! Can't remember which one popworld is, is it the Lowther? That's shite as well.

Hayden is fucking tragic tbh. I didn't realise he was playing for half an hour. Murphy's decision making is also piss poor. When you're relying on the likes of joselu and Manquillo to possibly play due to injuries and suspension you know you're fucked. Rafa's a magician if he keeps some of that lot up. Fucking loathe what Ashley's turned this club of ours into.

No surprise, is it?

!ol back!

That's cheered me up a bit.

disappointed in myself I didn't let go on 30 years of pent up anti-arsenal bile now I knew we had an audience.

We all wished the lad our best, he wasn't what we we needed in a mike Ashley funded squad, end of story. (He was blowing out of his arse in too many games I saw him start for us and blowing early on.).

Of course not. I've never read PC weekly.

I'm laughing but I'm on AOL. Is that still current?

I got panned for not having WhatsApp when I tried unsuccessfully to get a pic from a mate's phone last night. So I'd get WhatsApp to save yourself the same ridicule and derision.

Seen this the other day and it was a 65+ only map. Just about all of England and the whole of the north east was Tory including my own constituency which hasn't had one of those things since the 1950s. Unless those over 65s are all about 80, what's made them change their votes? (If you take the poll as gospel?).

City of God. Been meaning to getting round to this as I've seen it recommended many a time and wasn't disappointed. A bit violent at times but brilliantly shot. (For those who haven't seen it......It's about a budding young photographer growing up in the Brazilian slums in the 60s then 70s and the gangsters/drug gangs around at the time). Excellent film.

Have that hoddle!