Meenzer

Oh you're definitely on good territory there then. Anything from Big Drop or Mikkeler gets my vote right away. I'd say Beavertown Lazer Crush is decent enough among the high street ones too. Alcohol-free Leffe is surprisingly nice as a drink too, as long as you accept it's not going to feel like the real deal.

I've ordered from https://drydrinker.com several times - you can build your own mixed case and they've got a ridiculous range, including lots of foreign stuff. A decent number are showing as unavailable but of what they've currently got in stock, there's plenty of lagers if that's your preference. Though if you can get friendly with pale ales (and the alcohol-free ones are easier going anyway) then that widens your scope massively. Of the more commonly found 0% lagers (i.e. decent pubs or Waitrose-level supermarkets), Brooklyn Special Effects is probably my go-to. I find Days to be a bit easier than Lucky Saint, although the fact that some pubs even have the latter on tap now is kind of amazing compared with how things were a decade ago. Corona Cero is fine for something that tastes like holidays, too. Whereas I keep assuming I'll like the 0% Asahi and never actually do.

Been driving since the heavenly wondergoal and was I fuck going to listen to the match on the radio, so I've just seen how it ended. Lovely stuff. Did they sub off Jota's ghost at half-time?

McCoist didn't respond to the 20 minutes thing at first so he kept saying it until he did Pathetic.

He's 28 until he's 25.

Counting on my fingers... bit late for Dalglish's peak, maybe McCoist?

This little ditty is doing it for me at the minute

Farage, man. Absolutely shameless.

Nice to see @DanTheMan, it's been a while

And my favourite of all:

Live footage of Newcastle United getting summer transfers over the line

Ah, you've finally remembered his name then

Howay man.

These lads will know

I think I'm friends with him on Strava. Not convinced either of us knows how that happened.

Also it got the biggest viewing figures of anything this year. But aye, they shouldn't have shown it because it annoys some men.

That might be my new favourite random claim to fame

You're a white middle-class parent so it definitely won't be your fault according to them.

Aren't we all, aren't we all

No, only 5

In terms of what I've read recently that might fit the bill (if a little tangentially), I reckon Christopher Brookmyre's The Cracked Mirror could do the trick.

It's not the most obvious suggestion for a father of the bride speech but it might just work...