Dr Kenneth Noisewater

A Guy Called Gerald - Voodoo Ray

What do you call an Asian with a job? Asif.

Is Nathan Porritt still coming to us?

Button is alright. In footballing terms, he is uefa cup level rather than champions league.

He can go fuck himself tbh. There's rumours abound that he's been stomping around the factory at Woking like Veruca Salt with a serious case of PMT because the new kid isn't letting him win. He's got so used to a situation at Renault whereby Flav did everything to keep him happy and he's obviously expected the same sort of treatment at McLaren (particularly as Hamilton is a rookie). Not a chance, for over 25 years now Ron has not implemented any team orders and I don't expect him to start now. Fernando, make your driving do the talking, what's sad about all of it is he was far and away the most complete driver until Lewis came along. These two could 'race' together for years and bring the degree of spectacle back to the sport. It seems Alonso wants him to move to one side and let him win though and it doesn't work like that. The kid is awesome but the press are setting him up for a massive fall by almost suggesting he's bullet proof. He's not, and one day he is going to get it wrong. Just hope we don't have a massive post-mortem when it does. As an aside, how fucked off must Jenson be? That Honda is a complete pile of dogshit! Didn't McLaren have a team orders situation a few years ago at the first race of the season in Oz? I'm sure I can remember Coulthard having to slow down and let Hakkinen past. How long is Alonso's contract? I can see him flouncing off to Ferrari in a year or two, especially if Kimi continues to under perform.

The backlash begins! "Typical Brit, cutting corners and doing things by halves..." Just like the fact you're only half gay. The bottom half?

Same situation as Tiger Woods a few years back. Sponsors are willing to pay him handsomely because they think he could open up new markets to them.

To be fair it isn't a popular sport there and there are no US drivers. Except Scott Speed. But I take your point. I expect they were all at home watching NASCAR.

Shame there were more empty seats than at the Stadio de Plop-Plop today.

Brought this to mind:

Jimbo, you look like one of those Corinthians figures. Your head/bodysize ratio is way out.

I'm supposed to be going to York races tomorrow, my first saturday off for ages. But looking out the window, I'm guessing its going to be abandoned.

I'm thinking more along the lines of "Joey" from Friends I'm thinking more along the lines of Joey Deacon.

Prostitutes have been standing on street corners for ever and a day. Wherever the do it, they get moved along and no more. If they were outside my house it would only be a matter of time before they were moved somewhere else. But all these adverts must be costing a million or more? That million could have re-surfaced someone's street. Or buy a kidney machine. Or numerous other, more valuable, things than attempting to curtail something that will just never stop imo. Well don't come whinging to me when your kids have to step over bad aids condoms and used needles to get out the house. I agree with you really, they should have a designated area to ply their trade. Probably an industrial estate away from residential areas.

I expect you'd have different opinions if the hookers were turning tricks on you're doorstep.

I'll admit to it, although protection would be a must. Paper bag over her head and yours (in case hers falls off) you mean?

Are you Anal is disguise?

If anyone else had dared to come up with shit like this, Scott would be giving them hell and rightly so!

Jimbo, no. Tell me you're not having a tug over that

He was outstanding against them when he played for Colchester last season. I can remember Gatesy raving about him on the Legends before he got sacked. I thought he might have made a decent signing for us prior to the Ashley revolution substantially raising our sights.

Good piece on Hamilton from yesterdays Telegraph, prior to his win.

heh heh, poor-mans pizza. I have that sometimes after a night out. Do mine with cheese, tomato sauce and a sliced up pepperami.

What sort of preparation is that for an exam?

Strawberry & banana smoothie.

They're not sat next to you are they?