Ayatollah Hermione

It’s canny, aye. Impossible not to read it in the cadence and voice of his PU voiceovers though. He absolutely loved a drink, like

I can see Gemmill in a Fiat 500 these days.

Broad Chare always had an excellent scotch egg, how does it compare?

#PrivateEquity Time to log onto Twitter dot com and check on the Private Equity hashtag. Get caught up on that hot Private Equity news

Klopp has lost the plot, like. Looks like a bloke who needs a year or two off and doesn’t seem like he’s up for the job of building a new team once Salah and Mane have fucked off. Speccy cunt

I Will Destroy You is excellent as well

This Country is one of the best UK comedies of the decade

Woah, let’s keep the dirty stuff to a minimum, please

Would love a 25 point deduction going into next season. 5 of them would be fine but there would be a very real possibility of Arsenal getting relegated which would be great

Sky could really prove they’re so filled with integrity by not charging a kings ransom for matches that you see for a fraction of the price if you have any kind of half-decent internet connection too

What’s even more impressive is that these cunts, to a man, will be absolutely shocked by this reaction. They can pull out all they want, the bad PR is done. Desperately hoping the PL have the bollocks to impose some proper punishments. A 20 point deduction would see SUPER CLUB Arsenal relegated, that would be a good start

Would love to see Charnley putting out a statement like Everton’s. Granted, he’s on such a delay, he’d probably put one out about the death of Maradona.

Parish has come on MNF to look like a man of the people and now Carragher and Neville have talked him into so many knots that he’s basically defending it now

The Americans have been after this for ages since they come from the worlds shittest sport, American Football where it’s all corporate franchises and an illusion of actual competition

Would love to think that these clubs would see huge ramifications for this stunt but Masters and the PL are as weak-willed as it gets.

I’ve got 104 friends

They sorted me a Pfizer jab at another clinic since I’m essentially a national treasure

Absolutely cannot wait for Gemmill getting absolutely chinned. The dog will be having a sly nibble of what it thinks is your corpse.

Has he got the team drawn out on a bit of paper there?

West Ham will have our pants down. It’ll be over by half time considering how completely lost we looked against Burnley of all teams.

Time to run this Ralph character at Southampton through the fraud detector. .... ..... ...... FRAUD STATUS: POSITIVE

Genuinely insane how ASM won the game in 8 minutes but he wasn’t deemed fit enough to start

Off to IKEA to see if they have any purpose built shagging chairs with names that look like a cat has run over a keyboard.

Will Bruce play for a draw? Spoiler: Yes

Setting a dangerous precedent for when the Queen goes. I want 16 days of mourning, all as paid days off