Ayatollah Hermione

We talk about Bruce being the lowest paid manager but Charnley will be the lowest paid chairman as well. Bet his Christmas bonus was a £10 Amazon voucher

Ritchie, isn’t it?

How rich is he? Isn’t he just an heir to loads of money? They’ve basically appointed Donald Duck

It’s a fucking shit show, no two ways about it. Not feeling too battered as I’m doing my very best to look ahead to the summer with the vague hope that the warm weather will change things for the better but that’s eradicating with talk of a million variants and fuck knows what else. I’ve been cooking more which has helped but even the routine of spending time with our lass has vast swathes of browsing through Netflix aimlessly and just generally both trying to cheer the other up. I’m not sure it’ll destroy the relationship but fuck me, it’s a bizarre time to be in a relatively new one. I’ve definitely drank and ate too much though and I’m sure that’s not helping. Made a decision to not drink until the pubs open which will be helped by my entering a state of nothingness whenever Newcastle play, they’re not even driving me to drink anymore.

Watching Fulham, and their desire to actually improve the club with a manager who tries to play positive football, it’s probably best for everyone that our husk of a sporting institution go down instead

Rush LimbURGHHHH!, more like

Funny how so few managers walk away when they realise the gig is up these days. The likes of Villas-Boas aside, anyway. Almost like this merry-go-round of “ex-pros” are just as big mercenaries as some players.

All the options on the bench and it’s Joelinton who comes on first

Would honestly rather watch a live stream of MF inspecting his hairy ringpiece than this shit

And they stink

Had to laugh at all of his fellow pundits running into the comments to tell him he looked sharp as a date. Either there’s a running joke that I (and he) don’t get or they’re a collectively embarrassing bunch

Some people just get through life without any real repercussions for their actions and then people pretend that condemning them when they’re in the ground counts as any sort of real punishment. “Ooh, his legacy is tarnished” he’ll not give two hot gay fucks, he’s brown bread

Bet that took a battering after a few drinks in the pre-lockdown party days. “Would anyone like to hear Clocks by Coldplay?”

The new one from The Notwist is good if you want to feel vaguely nostalgic for mid-2000s indietronica. Some genuinely good arrangements around that kind of male indie voice that was everywhere 15 years ago

PRS. FFS, more like. You’ll be playing pentatonic solos in a pub blues band and talking about “proper music” once lockdown is done

Aye, it’s at the point now where I’m thinking Sheffield United might actually finish the highest of the three

Lesson learned: Get back to just disagreeing with Gemmill in this thread, out of principle

Saying that, they have to keep putting him on the side closest to the bench so they can talk him through games so probably not

Bruce said that Joelinton wasn’t a striker the other week so expect him to be thrust in there.

Standing next to Gary Speed. Actually, that’s unfair. He also stood next to Luka Modric

Cole Kitchen just off Roker beach is unreal as well and it has the added bonus of being run by a pal.

Christ, Jermaine Jenas makes my shit itch. Bringing his One Show audition, conversational brain dead energy to the punditry booth wasn’t enough, now he’s trying it on commentary.

Started watching Somebody Feed Phil and regretfully, it is quite good

I actually said out loud “don’t do anything stupid, just keep it there” and he absolutely ignored me. And his new haircut is shit

The kind of player you give the captaincy to, obviously.