Ayatollah Hermione

Hook it to my veins

if that was a delicious marinade, I would slather it on all of my food

Fernandez, Almiron, Saint-Maximin, Dubravka and the Longstaffs are the only ones I could see hanging around a decent squad for a good period of time. I would begrudgingly take Willems for a bit if someone told him that he's allowed to block crosses. I suppose with the right coaching, Lascelles could get back to being the tank of old and he does seem like a very effective on-pitch leader, especially when our backs are against the wall. I'd be willing to give Joelinton another year just to see, as said, if there's any chance he could improve. Plus, he cost 40 million and that's probably enough for most people to try and persist with him for a bit. Give Carroll the "Terry Mac" ceremonial position of putting the bets on and putting the cones out.

Shearer keeps saying it on MOTD and it makes him sound like a team leader in Wilko.

The first signing will probably be someone like Ryan Fraser on a freebie. Who had a bad year this year but is still some degrees better than Atsu.

I think it would be hilarious to see Atsu meeting Coutinho for the first time. Like Homer meeting Darryl Strawberry in the softball episode of The Simpsons. "You're Phillipe Coutinho" " I am" "Are you better than me?" "Well, I don't know you but....yes"

13th of June for the Premier League. It'll be 7 weekends at neutral grounds. #ITK

Not as much as that bastard dentist. Me and Richard Branson both live in England, it doesn't make me an expert on going into space.

Just think of the headlines when we have to go back into lockdown because nobody can be trusted to not be a fucking idiot.

“When”?! It might as well be Farage’s personal message board

God, I’m wasted on you lot.

Blatantly been to a brothel iyam

What’s a scared Japanese bloke’s favourite ice cream? IT’S VANILLA (Godzilla)!!!

People are absolutely moving about more, like. Leaving work today and it was like a normal day.

Emile Sande She's about as relevant as the rest of the list, I suppose.

Never knew Sega advertised in the Viz. Great early 90s behaviour.

Aye, as always in football, the simple answer is usually the right one. And you can’t argue with any of DKs post but all of those points have been articulated to Edwards dozens of times and he simply won’t have it because, as Alex says, he won’t say anything because he doesn’t want to lose his source.

“What matters most” is not being the worst attacking side in the league.

Fucking hell, we struggle to score across 90 minutes, never mind a shortened game.

Can’t wait for this to be linked to the lockdown being extended further when the people doing this are all on top of each other after 6 Carling.

https://www.football365.com/news/back-septemvber-coronavirus-anonymous-footballer A somewhat-cynical view from a current player but it’s hard to argue with a lot of what he says i.e. the Premier League will rush it back to stop the whole game collapsing.

He'll get plenty of government meals in prison, though.

Aye, talking about Ant putting a virus in his PC and that.

Leazes once replied to my mate with a massive tirade about Toontastic out of nowhere It went over about 8 tweets.

The table doesn’t lie