Ayatollah Hermione

How having a worse season than last years constitutes a “success” is a queer one to me, Jamaal

Left after 0-3, I believe. By the time I got to wherever I was drinking, it was 4. By the time I was served, it was 6. I can’t even imagine what it would have been with Suarez playing.

Capitalism is a disease. And here was me thinking that this might speed up its demise. Still naive after all these years.

Sacked again

That Satori just looked happy to be out of the house. He was overwhelmed by everything

The takeover isn’t even done and we’re signing Coutinho

I can't be arsed to walk up Dean Street

Morrissey is a complete racist shithouse but this is class, to be fair to the cunt.

Can't see it being announced on a Sunday but I can see a half day being put in tomorrow if it's announced.

I'd probably have that guitar though. Whip it out to play Local Hero on. And then I'd play the guitar.

Fuck sake

You lot cheered a nonce tbh

I am looking forward to FacundoFerrerya96's planned protest though. Maybe spell out "SAUDIS R POO" in skywriting.

Fuck me, I could not care less about what Bolton have to say about Newcastle United. I barely care what most of our fans have to say

Sadly, they both drank bleach and died. RIP

LOL @ us completely outbidding everyone to host Joshua/Fury

Fuck it, let them eat bleach. I seriously doubt they’ll be missed by the world at large.

Will be a thorough thrapping of myself happening when it’s through. Scented candles, binaural audio filtering through Alexa, sheets down, the lot.

Man Utd would sign one little Chinese fella and they’d make it back. FACTAMUNDO

They’d probably make that back fairly sharpish with Man Utd because their sponsorship and commercial deals are leagues ahead of ours. The lack of money we make on the commercial side of things is embarrassing. Largely because we exist as a way for Ashley to beam Sports Direct across the globe.

And then their tune changed to telling us why exactly we shouldn't love him so much. Like the silly Geordies needed an explanation about why he hadn't actually done a good job and everyone else actually knew better.

Funny how the rest of the countries “stay in your lane, you Geordies” sentiments come out in times like this. We’re not allowed to actually enjoy anything, players won’t want to come because the north is a shithole and we’re all too stupid to grasp that the Saudis have done some bad shit. I’d want to be cut adrift from the lot of them if I didn’t want to categorically smash all their football teams to bits in the next 4 years.

To be fair, that’s all Steve Wraith’s doing. Pretending to be Colombian by speaking in stilted English ffs

Norwich probably have less than 0.1% of the total wealth tbf

How does this keep getting better?!