Ayatollah Hermione

Fuck me, what did you watch after that? “The Top 50 Aircraft Disasters” on BBC 3?

Shut up, you thick cunt.

Last season was built on graft, industry and a siege mentality, borne out of being a newly promoted side in a league full of people who saw us as easy targets. Despite it all, we finished tenth and, once more, there was minimal outlay. Now, the lack of quality still exists but you can't rely on the previously mentioned qualities because they're completely unique to a newly promoted side. As a player, it's impossible to have an underdog mentality when you finished in the top half of the Premier League. You expect progression, you expect more quality, you expect depth and more importantly, you expect all of those things to alleviate the massive pressure you were under last season. Those things didn't arrive and you absolutely cannot expect these players to do that again. The pressure on Ritchie, Shelvey, Lascelles and Kenedy remains huge and it would take truly great players to succeed in this current situation, especially when the players around them, God bless them, are trying, but remain not good enough. Today was awful and, right now, Rafa Benitez is largely irrelevant. If Pardew was the manager of these players, I'd sympathise with him as well. They gave everything to the cause last season and it's ridiculous to expect the same again. They see through the ownership's bullshit and there's only so far that the respect Rafa creates can take you. We're fucked.

Reckon that's a Keith Bishop PR "masterstroke" i.e. he's been called a negligent owner so he's showing up at matches to say he's not. He's also, coincidentally, in a tailored suit after being roundly slagged off for his regular fashion.

On one hand, you have to be cynical since we're rumbling close to January and this is Ashley's favoured tactic to get out of spending any money. On the other hand, I'm so desperate for the prick to fuck off that I'm on board with believing it.

Looks like we’re playing Man United at a good time which certainly means that Mourinho will be sacked on Monday morning

You can't hoy Perez up top against Harry Maguire, man You need SOME height in there.

Bitch, you had better DOUBLE CHECK your facts

They timed this week’s Always Sunny to perfection

Hiring PR is more about exposure than actually making people think you’re alright

Bournemouth took these apart last week and they should be much better considering the young talent they have on show. I’m going for a optimistic 2-0 win to get us rolling

You’ve made the decision to completely uproot your life very easily there. I’d take a week or so to think about it

That sort of stuff is well known to us but probably isn’t to the wider crowd. I imagine for them, the excerpts are twice as interesting.

Well in HowmanHeyMam also.

May’s claims that she won’t change her tack on Brexit hold about as much weight as my claim that I’m not ordering a pizza in tonight

Class, mate. Enjoy whatever vice is yours and then boot your lasses back doors in with renewed vigour

Breaking Bad was decent but was a victim of its own hype at the time. That finale is of variable quality, to say the least

Enjoy Burton away

Been made to look stupid now.

Think when we go to Krakow, we're going to the shooting range and, with it being Eastern Europe, you just know that health and safety rules will be applied very loosely and I'll end up blowing my mate's fingers off with a Kalishnikov.

Can't get to this today but will be in town for it. Where even shows matches anymore? DM me if you don't want to blow up their spot

I'm discovering that Post-Peter Green but Pre-Buckingham Fleetwood Mac are sorely underrated

We desperately need flogged before his chickens come home to roost, mind.

at all of that. Can’t believe they’ve cut it down though, it was a masterpiece in its original form

Ploughing my money into crypto currency. Don’t need a bank if your cyber coins are held in the info cloud