Dazzler

James Urn Jones

Looks like someone dropped a Christmas ham on a barbers floor.

“There I was causing bother in a bar, winding up a group just trying to enjoy a game of football. One of them had enough of my obnoxious behaviour and told me to wind my neck in otherwise there’d be trouble. I declined his offer and continued to be a prick, and even grassed him for good measure. Good job he’d had a few or he’d have chinned me when he eventually took his swing. Aren’t I fucking mint lads.”

Who ruins a sausage roll on the Lord’s day? Fuck you sir, fuck you sideways.

It’s nice that mr Wonka gave Angel Gomes the day off to represent his country tbh.

TAA is fucking awful man.

His ma. She gets proper frothy when he takes charge.

Cost a combined £205m - Worth is subjective. By that logic we have a £80m world class centre back in defence too

It must sting that they are two of our most bang average too.

Fucking hell, I think it’s time for Higgins to go and live on a farm

“Ahm not defending him or owt marra, but hews ta sayah that his bairn didn’t want to bey buh’reed undah the patio.”

Will respond later. Too upset.

Carsley played for Ireland. He’s not daft. He’s probably just scared James McLean will leave something ticking under his bike seat.

I think it depends on the shade of shooter tbh.

4 just means brother dad claimed the wrong hole on aunty sister over the pond.

This would have been a more appropriate reaction tbh:

It's impressive that they've found a Glaswegian staffy capable of handling multi-million pound contract negotiations tbf.

I hope you've won just so we get to witness Eddie Howe's shithousing corporate sponsorship mags tbh.

A lot of stuff written in half eaten crayon, I'd imagine.

This may be the reality but this is what RTG actually saw: