Dazzler

It would have to have been c-section at 10lbs. She'd be in a wheelchair now if it wasn't Good luck with the bairn though, it'll turn out to be worry over nothing I'm sure and I can't see them saying anything other than that which is what's best for the baby and your wife.

Nah that cunt probably thinks we should abolish the government as they're all the same, and we can all live hand in hand in a Mad Max style utopia.

This is the bit I am not certain of (due to not working in football) - the standard process for selling an asset would be that the £50m would be written off in the year you sold them as you can't depreciate an asset you no longer own. There may be different accounting procedures in football that means you can still amortise the fees even after a player is sold though but it seems to be an odd one as you'd be recognising a physical asset (a player) that now also sits on the balance sheet of another club. In my plant and machinery brain it goes: Purchase for £100m - Fixed Assets depreciated over five years (assuming the limit is applied retroactively) Depreciation - £40m - Assuming the player has been with the club for two full seasons at point of sale. NBV - £60m after two seasons Transfer fee £40m - That leaves a balance on the fixed assets of £20m and this would be written off at the point of sale to the P&L as one hit. I suppose in the above example at the start of year three it's cost neutral (from an accounting perspective) as you're going to amortise that £20m anyway, so suddenly £40m isn't so bad and after year 3 starts to actually become profitable in the P&L - if the amortisation limit is not applied retroactively then Chelsea are stuck with these players for much longer before it becomes even close to viable to sell for realistic fees.

In player sales, do the accounting entries not work as they would selling any other asset? E.g. Profit/Sale of asset - so the amortisation would cease at the point the sale is recognised in the accounts as the value is written off the balance sheet. I suppose the above only works with players purchased within the last five years, which Chelsea will find increasingly difficult to do, given the inflated fees and contracts they've dished out. I'd say they have a tonne of kids on their books that could fetch upwards of £5m each though, which seems like it's never ending - similarly with Man City. They will always need a handful of those to fetch £20m-£30m+, and unless they start bringing some through they could be royally fucked in a year or two. They have (I would think) five years at around £200m in amortisation costs just from the Boehly spunkfest to cover.

Tbf, his injury record so far is a niggling injury last season he tried to play through and made worse and a broken back which can't really be accounted for. He was looking a lot fitter, stronger and composed in the minutes he got before his injury this season and was starting to look like he could cut it at this level so I agree it's a bit early to write him off. If Longstaff is still struggling with an injury, with Tonali and Joelinton out for the remainder of the season and with Bruno having a two match suspension hanging over him you'd think there's going to be plenty of game time between now and the end of the season for him to get a chance.

Aye, he never really lived up to that fee at Spurs. Prime (NUFC) Sissoko in a Howe midfield would be an interesting player though as he was a fucking beast of an athlete. Him and Joelinton either side of Bruno could have caused carnage.

Hasn't Howe already more or less said that Hall will be here next season anyway, albeit indirectly. He said something to the tune of he has helped out short term and we expect him to be a big part of the club's future - this was before new year.

They'd be heavily armed, Shirley.

The Lib Dems haven't shifted at all which is surely a massive failure on their part. You'd think they'd at least be able to scoop up some of the fence sitters if they weren't so incompetent.

That can't be right surely. The description is the exact bracket I fall into and I couldn't be closer the bottom left point from a voting perspective in the coming election. Is it assuming that most lads in their 30s from the north east who live in a suburban area with a mortgage and university education are automatically from money? Perhaps Dame Allen and RGS tory boy cunts are skewing this result.

Carroll and Perez - Some of the greatest bits of transfer business of all time when you look at how shit they were almost immediately after they left. I would include Wood in that but the cunt went on to put three past us at SJP so it doesn't seem fair.

“Remember the rules - they’s was very clear. Be nice, be fucking nice. Soon we asks him, and then we knows. We musts wait the three posts rule before we calls him it. Soon, precious.”

Thurts n prairs

Beside eez sairl aah hord. The wairks to the bus station just airn't the same without Lucky.

You have to feel for Burb Durbson though, aah herp shus fund airlreet.

These people disagree

Phillips - No goals, zero assists, 3 own goals and a red card Henderson - Chased a ball once and celebrated in front of the fans Southgate -

This video always leads me to this missing durg poster

It will do it's intended job, even if it's not the greatest bit of bants. "I say, Suella have you seen this tweet from the labour party?" Suella:

My personal favourite

You just need a good, powerful stream of piss to take care of that. Enter 777 Partners.