Dazzler

I take it you're neck isn't 2 and a half foot long.That's where you're going wrong.

Got his passport from Kanu's mate. Kanu was introduced to his mate by his great grandad Obafemi Martins.

Aye two appointments reporting to a sporting director we don't have are temporarily reporting to a CEO on his way out - is a bit mental. Surely, getting a sporting director and CEO first makes infinitely more sense. That's why it won't be what we've done

In fairness to he Doumbia loan he was rapid and strong and had been knocking in goals for fun in Russia and Switzerland. On paper, he was worth the risk. He was just a pensioner by the time he got here.

28 he was here by the way. He looks like someone's dad showing up at his kid's five a side

He's also fucking massive for a centre mid. He's lanky, but I reckon he might be the one that would offer some of the shit we lose when Joelinton gets injured (which is fairly often).

Never before has someone who never set foot in Liverpool looked so much like someone who has never left Liverpool. Fucking flared trackies man, what a tit

It's about time we had representation from the giraffe community

Bruno Fernandes enters the chat.

Quite a bit judging by the constant bed wetting we see on here.

I’m still trying to say his surname without the goodness gracious me head wobble.

It’s all about the churn. This cunt would have had us getting knocked back by John Stones a week after Palace moved the goalposts the first time.

This is fake news. Connery would have just given her a clout.

I'm lucky that I try to get in the family end with the bairn. I think it'll probably set me back £58 for both of us.

I don't think there is any evidence to support that the Saudis have lost interest. There is evidence that they've agreed to play by the rules to get the club from Ashley. There is even more evidence that the rules were changed almost immediately. In fact, we know they were. And purely because of the threat we posed. We've strongly backed Man City in their battle over related-party sponsorship. The problem is that we're competing (or trying to) on an uneven surface. We were miles behind when the sale when through and it's been made almost impossible to catch up because the EPL have done what Arsenal, Spurs and Liverpool (among others) have told them and made it so nobody can break into their club. If Man City win their case I think we suddenly start taking the piss on sponsorship deals. The executive level shit need fixed though, Eales has had other things to worry about and should have already been replaced. Mitchell and Ashworth were dreadful appointments in hindsight.

He jumped before he was sacked. It was so painfully obvious. He came in, called everything shit and instead of getting the wet wipes he dropped his drawers and curled out a belter on top of the pile. He's the reason we might lose Isak. The one player the Saudis were adamant we couldn't lose.

If this was an Ashley window we’d all have been pleasantly surprised at the fact he not only spent £55m but did so on one player tbf.

A lad from Nice with dreadlocks? If he does step overs then there’s going to be a fake bogan gushing at their imaginary flaps somewhere. Farken.

Well they fucking are now. Son’s crying now, nice one.

“Tragedy struck this evening as a 20 yard thunderbastard hit the new smaller net for t’birds in the Euros catapulting into the crowd and killing a man and wounding three others.”

Spanish for “wor kid from dewn the pits”. Don’t have a clue why the Spanish used it for thick as two short planks.

Isak was linked to arsenal all last summer and I don’t remember them leaving him at home.