acrossthepond

Shit - flush immediately Colback Anita Dummett Gouffran Sels Did a job in the "Champ", best wishes at their next club Hanley Murphy Atsu Permanently crocked/non-features Lazaar Gamez Haidara Aarons Sammy Surplus to requirements/Were never any good anyway De Jong Krul Thauvin Armstrong Riviere Saivet Mbabu Worth keeping for their PL experience Diame Perez Yedlin Mbemba Mitrovic Clark First XI Shelvey Gayle Ritchie Hayden Lascelles (?) Elliott/Darlow This isn't groundbreaking as it's what fans have been saying all along, but fatso better be ready to open up the chequebook, because that squad doesn't have a hope in hell of PL survival without major surgery.

Wretchedly disappointing. That was a game that we dominated and to come away dropping points in the way we did is always going to be a kick in the teeth. I admired the performance that Jansson put in, he was constantly in the right place at the right time. The other Leeds defenders were more of the faux hard-man/dirty fouler/comedy club style of defending and it seemed Jansson was always there to clean up their messes. For me he was a cut above the usual Championship CB and I wouldn't mind seeing him in black and white next season. Mitrovic was really good, too bad next time he plays he'll be back to the disinterested, lazy hothead we've seen turn up far too many times this season. I think Rafa will definitely shift him. Oh well, onwards and upwards, time to put this slog of a league behind us.

We (the West) could've snapped Assad like a twig 3-4 years ago when he was on the brink, but we stood by and did nothing. Now that he's already retaken Aleppo, butchered a quarter of his people and sent another quarter fleeing through Turkey to Europe, feeding the likes of Wilders, Orhan, Le Pen and Farage, NOW some gas is a step too far. A handful of missiles are too little, too late. This is a show of force to prove Trump's independence from Russia and make him look decisive and presidential. He won't escalate in Syria. He won't stop Assad, any more than Obama did.

I'm not following you at all here. How is going to events at mosques, segregated or not (they all are, by the way, as are Coptic churches, many Eastern Orthodox parishes, Orthodox Jewish communities, etc.) representative of a secret leftist agenda to obliterate Islam?

A mistake is what happened when Bruno's da didn't pull out in time. Having your child's mother brutally murdered and fed to dogs is not a fucking mistake. And any club signing that abomination of a human being should be hit with a points penalty for every day the cunt is on their books.

Without him we'd be where Aston Villa are right now. And if he goes when we're promoted, you'll see just how quickly we turn back into last season's Newcastle once Garry Monk or Mike Phelan or Alex Neil is in charge. Our first XI is still relatively uninspiring. McClaren would have this lot around 11th or 12th. The reason we're top is because of Rafa, make no mistake. As for "functional football", how many times have we yearned for a team that could play a solid, drilled defensive game while still in the PL? Now it's arguably even more important, we've got a coach who can actually do it, and the spacka portion of our fanbase is moaning about grinding out wins. Wagner and his delightful passing/pressing side got cut down by fucking Bristol City. Rafa knows exactly what he's about, long may it continue.

I think part of the problem is that Mitro is a "big man" striker who doesn't play like one. In his mind "being a nuisance to defenders" means all you have to do is foul them constantly. He doesn't have the work rate IMO to play the mostly thankless job of being a lone striker. Most of your time in that role should be spent making pointless runs to open space for players behind you, dragging defenders out of position, blocking them off on set plays, etc. On the relatively rare occasion where he gets the ball at his feet, back to goal, and can set up other players, he's shown some good touches. But he seems to think that should be happening on every play, and he takes the huff when he isn't constantly receiving the ball. He's immature and a hothead and to be brutally honest he's unreliable. Which is why Rafa isn't relying on him. On the other hand, Murphy is an extremely experienced pro who has been playing this role for a long time and he looks the part. When Rafa sent him on for 20 minutes against Brighton he knew exactly what the drill was and he stuck to it. Done exactly what we bought him for if you ask me, chipped in with a few goals, and he's got my appreciation.

4 minutes to play and they send the keeper up, not sure what the plan was there but this is how it's came out:

Brilliant finish, crisp as anything. Feeble attempt by the keeper to excuse his own shocking play.

We won't win no cups, we won't win no shields, our biggest match will be HUDD ERS FIELD. Win this one and the league is sewn up imo, but I don't think we will. Going for a 1-1 draw. The message is clear: they see this game as the cup final, not the actual cup quarter-final they just played, and I think they'll come up with a big performance.

A goal worthy of winning any game. That's why we're going up.

Fuck knows we needed some luck from somewhere.

Not sure Diame has touched the ball this half, he needs to be off.

Diame has been atrocious, Gouffran not much better. Experiment is not working. Throw on the mad Serb, we can't do any worse than this. Plenty of threat coming from the wings though, they seem to have no answer to Ritchie when he gets on the ball. Shelvey meanwhile is skulking around like he's going to put the Cruciatus curse on someone. He needs to get out of his own head and into the game.

Knockaert should be called Knackaert, he's one half of a bull's plums.

An absolute nonsense of a penalty. Nothing whatsoever in it.

Maybe I'll run into the cunts.

I've more hair than that.

Ian Woan as well surely?

I coach my school team, third year of doing so. We're not very good and so I have developed quite a list, most of which you don't really see at a professional level. But foul throws are the worst. When one of my players commits a foul throw, the entire team does 50 push-ups after the match.

Mbemba did a job in the PL last year, he wasn't amazing but he was a pretty solid centre-back in an abominable defence. Same with Mitrovic. Neither one has really had a look in under Rafa but I still think they're PL-quality players.

Great build up play even if the finish was lucky.

Perez has been wretched for his entire time in the Championship. To be honest we got more than we deserved. We were dire and in no way look like a title-winning team. Mbemba surely can't be worse than Lascelles/Clark, we need to get him back in ASAP. It's plain there was no Gayle plan B and it's costing us. No Shelvey plan B either. More "cross our fingers" planning from our football genius.

The one I will shortly be taking off you, yes.

You have followed this club your whole life as far as I know. Tell me I'm wrong. We're only ever a "club statement" away from catastrophe at Newcastle United.