Monkeys Fist

I'm currently working around Cumbria/Ayrshire inspecting bridges , with a proper Greenham Common old skool lesbican. ( No shit, she's fucking superb, does not give the slightest of fucks*) She wouldn't be seen dead in CT's Skechers as they're just toooo Dykey. ( yes, I showed her them and asked the question) * Carillion auditor turned up today on site and started asking questions regarding our rigging. Milly Tant shot him down in flames, saying, in the nicest way I've ever heard, that he wasn't fit to even spell Rope Access, never mind question us about it. He basically did the head down, "Sorry Miss" schoolboy apology. It was a joy to behold

Fucking great man.

Look up his paternal grandfather and great grandfather- Osman Kemal and Ali Kemal respectively.

Did you buy it at Boundary Mills when you bought your Grandad shoes?

Someone please do AntAndDec, replacing the large fore headed Ant with the insect variety.

Aye. I'd never played the first two. You'll get the shit kicked out of you in fights for the first few hours, but it's absolutely, without question, worth sticking with it. One of the best games I've played.

M Scat? Dirrrty beeatch.

Immunity is great.

So, when you discover your beautiful, sensitive, copper-haired 8yr old daughter has caught the dreaded dickies from some little skip-rat at school, Mrs.Fist reckons it's immature to back in to a corner, making a cross and hissing " Unclean! Unclean! Burn the Witch!" Obviously, I disagree.

Woah, dude! Get off of his back!

He would, if it wasn't in fucking Yorkshire

Were baked potatoes involved?

How many shares do you own in The Yorkshire Fucking Show Plc?

Look Tubs, after three or more years, has it not sunk in? No one wants to drive to Yorkshire to look at a feckin cow beauty contest. Except you. Stop it

What's the current population? Exhausting.

Up the Natalies.... Fnarr fnarr etc

Are you also Natalie Imbrogogliogliogogoliogia?

Don't be daft man, leave them at Grannies

You would say that, you're one of them

You've seen Coldsnooze three times, man. Pots and Kettles here

Ffs, do we have to do everything for you? Here you go, then

Not quite, but you're getting Whaaam.

Condolences Stevie.

It was as you'd expect with a group of excited 6yr old boys- high pitched fucking mayhem. I also played Blartwatch, unusually, the ratio of Milf:Munter mothers in his school year is about 70:30 in favour of the Milf,so birthday parties aren't all bad. (He didn't get a tank, but seemed pleased enough)