Monkeys Fist

Some familiar faces there

I don’t.

I’m seeing this ending up as a Wolf of Boldon scenario, with CT off his lips on Bongludes, trying to open the door of his taxi with his foot, whilst Big Crypto is siphoning his accounts. Margo Robbie does not get her blart out, though.

I’m trying to convince the little shite that Lezzet is Greek, but he’s digging his heels in on the Greek thing. Stubborn wee feck.

I think he got a message from the scammers and misunderstood “ Show us your ring, or else”

Amirite?????

Sounds like Yorkshire/Lancashire. Hard to tell the difference

Greek gaff’s in the city centre please gents - Mrs, Jnr, and I are getting our Soutzoukakia on this Saturday.

Aye, me too, and several tens of thousands others as well.

Well, it’s a sad day in the Kinnear household …

How could I ever refuse?

Watched one the most bizarre films last night. Not bizarre in its subject matter or anything, but more bizarre as in “wtf is this?” Nobody. 2021. Bob Odenkirk is a retired hitman. Doc Brown is his ageing father. Gladiator’s posh bit on the side plays his wife. It’s like the Equalizer, in that he is a one-man killing machine, but it has moments of comedy too. I just wasn’t sure if it was a serious “badass” movie or a spoof. I quite enjoyed it, tbf, once you get past Bob Odenkirk as a hitman, and the finale is fucking hilarious.

Life on the poverty line, eh? Please don’t be shy when it all goes tits up My lass has some useful contacts in sunderlands homeless shelters.

I agree. We need a bit of seriousness in the Funny Pictures Thread…

The weather hasn’t been conducive to digging up rusty spoons lately.

A finely balanced game between two teams, each vying for a European spot, each with their own problems to address. 5-0 to us. We always beat these cunts.

He’s like their Quiff, constantly in denial that he’s been cucked by the one he loves.

Btw, note it’s “our member “ as opposed to “one of our members”

I’d drink a glass of milk every night before bed, but I’d get these weird nightmares where I had no feet and was stuck in a nest of giant, social insects ( like termites). Turns out I had Lack Toes n’ Taller Ants.

These three lads are walking along the beach when they find an old oil lamp in the sand. One of them picks it up, rubs it for a laugh , and, bugger me, out pops a Genie. It says. "You have finally freed me after all these years, so I'll grant each one of you 3 wishes." The first lad, Davey, immediately blurts out, "I want a billion pounds." POOF, he's holding a printout that shows his account balance is now in fact £1,000,000,000,003.50p The second lad, Johnny, thinks for a bit, then says, "I want to be the richest man alive." POOF, he's holding papers showing his net worth is now well over £300 billion. The third lad, Mick, thinks even longer about his wish, then says, "I want my left arm to rotate clockwise for the rest of my life." POOF, his arm starts rotating. The Genie tells them it's time for their second wish. Davey says: "I want to be married to the most beautiful woman on earth." POOF, Salma Hayek wraps herself around his arm. ( the jammy twat). Johnny says, "I want to be good-looking and charismatic, so I can have every girl I want." POOF, his looks change, and Salma immediately starts flirting with him. Mick says, "I want my right arm to rotate counter-clockwise until I die." POOF, now both his arms are rotating, in opposite directions. The genie tells them to think very carefully about their third wish. Davey, after a while, says, "I never want to become sick or injured, I want to stay healthy until I die." POOF, his complexion improves, his acne is gone, and his knees don't bother him anymore. Johnny says, "I never want to grow old. I want to stay 29 forever." POOF, he looks younger already. Mick smiles triumphantly and says, "My last wish is for my head to nod back and forth." POOF, he's now nodding his head and still flailing his arms around. The genie wishes them good luck, disappears, and the men soon go their separate ways. Many years later, they meet again and chat about how things have been going. Davey is ecstatic: "I've invested the money and multiplied it many times over, so me and my family will be among the richest of the rich pretty much forever. My wife Salma is a freak in the sheets, and I've never had so much as a cold in all these years." Johnny smiles and says, "Well, I built charities worldwide with a fraction of my wealth, I'm still the richest cunt alive and also revered for my good deeds. I haven't aged a day since we last met, and yes, Salma is pretty wild in bed." Mick walks in, flailing his arms around and nodding his head. "Lads, I think I fucked up."

Fyp. ( Sorry, I absolutely despise the cunt, more than any of the shambles that came after him).