Monkeys Fist

Fyp

Dumped my trailer so im parked no problem, had a massive shite, shower, first half then bait. The gods are smiling on us the neet! COME ON!!!!!!!

You can say “the word” now, you know. @catmag is too busy flogging her worn grundies to bother much with us nowadays

It’s not as dodgy as Cork.

It’ll probably involve passing seamen, although it’s worth pointing out that to a Sevillan, that means a transient maritime worker, whereas to a mackem, it’s what happens 10 minutes after your Dad pops by to say hello.

If you do pluck up the courage to visit the War Zone CT, it’s vital you ingratiate yourself with the locals. Buy a Guinness top hat, dress like a leprechaun, adopt a terrible attempt at the accent, and tell them jokes… … “How many potatoes does it take to kill an Irishman? None!” etc. I’d look for Airb&b in Divis Tower as a base. Super friendly place.

Considering how it’s meant to set in stone, it’s a load of amendments. Not that Mango Mussolini takes the least bit of notice of any of it.

Had to do a safety refresher today. Apparently the answer to “ What steps would you take if the trailer became detached unexpectedly whilst you were parked.” is not “fucking big ones”.

Nice work if you can get it, I suppose?

I was driving through Belshill in Glasgow in October and there were Christmas Lights up on all the streetlights, IN OCTOBER FFS! I blame all the leftists and brown people tbh.

Captured his essence I think.

I don’t understand the mindset of anyone who reads that article and thinks “You know who should be criticised here? The BBC!” wtf?

Every year that goes by, Bruce looks more and more like an ageing lesbian that runs a community clothes bank.

Aye, they’re meant to go on your feet though.

My first proper lass lived out in the sticks near Hexham, and they had a Rayburn , which is the same as an Aga but does the central heating too. I know you’re all wondering “ But Fist, did you ever rattle her up against it and feel the radiant warmth on your man eggs as you pumped away?” The answer is yes, once or twice, had to been done.

Oh, you want creative? I compared this lads scoring record to the rat in his last season for us, and honestly? There’s not a vas deferens.

Fyp

Is this @sammynb’s Mrs?

Doesn’t that make bidding a tad tricky?

I’m driving up from Leicester to Durham and I’ve kept myself entertained by inventing the bios of Ruben Crispin Tatiana and Carranza, the (married) members of Fish’s local craft collective, Anvil. They are blacksmith/bakers, fucking terrible at it

Being threatened by The Capsicum Kid wasn’t on my bingo card for today How’s life in Cheshire by the way? I heard they’re organising a yoga protest against the closing of the local holistic crystal healing and homeopathy Centre.

He’s 19 until he’s 57