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Monkeys Fist

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Everything posted by Monkeys Fist

  1. Monkeys Fist
    What’s so bitingly, hilariously true is that whilst Don Jnr is pictured just below his father’s nappy, the Trump Prince Edward- Eric, is way over on the left, last in a line of minor cunts.
  2. Monkeys Fist
    I reckon no actual mackems went to their hosted concerts, Beyonegetonefreeonce, and …err… the others on account of them being too expensive for the average Morlock. If we really wanted turn the screw on our nether-neighbours, we’d open a weekly evening of The New Blue Monkey in the fucking car park or wherever, pumping out that mind-melting shite all Vauxhall Nova owners love to share with the neighbourhood. Tickets sold on a postcode basis, NE codes only. RTG would actually explode.
  3. Monkeys Fist
    4.8 seconds too slow.
  4. Monkeys Fist
    I knew a lad, dwarf, who was a heroin addict. I asked him why he got in to drugs and he said ” To get high”.
  5. Monkeys Fist
    They should call it the Summit Stadium as it’s all downhill from there.
  6. Monkeys Fist
    It is.
  7. Monkeys Fist
    Fyp
  8. Monkeys Fist
    Anything can happen in a cup-final, so I’m going to break with tradition and say 5-0 to us.
  9. Monkeys Fist
    Just make sure you put the location and KO time (in the correct time zone), in the title. Or face the consequences
  10. Monkeys Fist
    Bruuuno!
  11. Monkeys Fist
    Areola? Looks like a right tit.
  12. Monkeys Fist
    Away kit ✅
  13. Monkeys Fist
    Just another day struggling on the poverty line, eh?
  14. Monkeys Fist
    Pun- a joke exploiting the different possible meanings of a word or the fact that there are words which sound alike but have different meanings. Oxford Dictionary. Welcone to Pun Club, I knew you’d crumble eventually.
  15. Monkeys Fist
    We not counting the Roomba you just dumped like a bag of laundry when the dog replaced it in your affections?
  16. Monkeys Fist
    Also… Gemmzi making puns????
  17. Monkeys Fist
    What’s impressive is that’s just the tip…
  18. Monkeys Fist
    Spoilers man!!!
  19. Monkeys Fist
    It was the way she held his season ticket.
  20. Monkeys Fist
    That’s the bastard! The size of her fiver! You could build a couple of new-build housing estates on the thing. Nae chebs, like.
  21. Monkeys Fist
    Just heard that Roy Ayers died last week, aged 84. Fucking legend. Here’s him at 77 doing a Small Desk Concert. He does a tasty version of his most well-known track from 16:00 onwards, but if you can’t be arsed with that, here it is
  22. Monkeys Fist
    I can’t remember the name of the lass who brought him down, but she looked like she’d had Bell’s Palsy and also had an absolute fivehead. Presumably registered blind, too.
  23. Monkeys Fist
    100% guarantee that our resident bitcoin expert has eaten more than one tin of that.
  24. Monkeys Fist
    As is often the case with these feckin’ eejits, they’ll take a harmless fact- powdered aluminium was tested, mildly successfully in the 60s, as a cloud seeder to encourage rainfall, and then put it through the loony tunes mill and come out with a completely arse-backwards, tooth-looseningly stupid “theory” which, surprise-surprise, is the Shadow Gubmint’s doing but only the “enlightened” realise.
  25. Monkeys Fist
    Which of the following peer-reviewed scientific sites did he use to do his research? Facebook, Tik Tok or Twatter?
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