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if you heard a joke today, post it


Dr Gloom
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This has been a miserable slog to wade through. And after the effort I feel you deserve this abortion.
 

My dyslexic raver mate set up a climbing company in Jamaica. 
 

Parties of the Carabiner. 
 

 

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1 hour ago, Monkeys Fist said:

What do you call a Chinese lass with a Kenwood Chef on her head?

 

 

 

7im4m6.gif

 

wibble. 


He’s Japanese, you careless racist. 

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1 hour ago, trophyshy said:


He’s Japanese, you careless racist. 

Aye, and he’s asking what you call a Chinese lass with a Kenwood Chef on her head. 
Then he’s telling you. 
I never said he was Chinese. 
DO YOU THINK THEY ALL LOOK THE SAME?????

 

Leported

 

 

So, a snake walks in to a bar and the barman says,

” How’d you do that?” 

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2 hours ago, Kevin Carr's Gloves said:

Chinese guy walks into a bar with a parrot on his shoulder.

Barman says “where did you get that”

Parrot says “China there’s fucking millions BILLIONS of them “.

 

Factualised your post.

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14 hours ago, Dr Gloom said:

 

that joke didn't get a single lol emoji 

 

Shock Omg GIF

 

14 hours ago, Dr Gloom said:

happens to also be what my jamaican drill sergeant mate calls his new regiment of soldiers

 

12 hours ago, Dr Gloom said:

Jamaica’s weather can be unpredictable. Glorious sunshine one month, hurricanes the next. Quite changeable isn’t it…

 

….the climate of the Caribbean 

200.gif

 

:smile:

 

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Julius Caesar walks into a bar and says, "I'll have a Martinus."

The bartender gives him a puzzled look and asks, "Don't you mean a Martini?"

"Look", Caesar replies, "If I wanted a double, I'd have asked for it!"

 

:smile:

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Just now, Dr Gloom said:

I saw a man going up a hill with a trolley full of horseshoes, four-leaf clovers and rabbits feet.

 

I thought: "Wow, he's pushing his luck!

No Way Beer GIF by Busch

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1 hour ago, Dr Gloom said:

I saw a man going up a hill with a trolley full of horseshoes, four-leaf clovers and rabbits feet.

 

I thought: "Wow, he's pushing his luck!

I knew a lad who kept 100 rabbits up his arse. 
 

Called him Warren. 

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He was from a weird family.  
His brother had epilepsy and dressed as a cowboy , called himself Tex Fitz. 
His mother used to go to the local park and hang off the goalposts every day- other than that she was a lovely woman, Annette. 
 

 

 

( I’ve translated these from the Ancient Sanskrit they were first written in). 

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13 hours ago, Dr Gloom said:

I saw a man going up a hill with a trolley full of horseshoes, four-leaf clovers and rabbits feet.

 

I thought: "Wow, he's pushing his luck!

 

paddy mcguinness series 27 GIF by Top Gear

🙂 

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