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Just don’t do a Belanov and try to nick some jewellery in the KDW in between.

Miley and Sean both cover the same role. The right sided 8, I think the kids call it. Bruno’s current position, basically

I’d go for Douglas Luiz, especially if we get CL football. He is out of favour at Juve.

We’ll have an empty seat on the bench Seriously though, I wish him all the best- it’s definitely the right thing to do, and he’s been a very good servant to the club throughout his entire time here. His purple patch where we didn’t lose if he was playing was at the perfect stage in our club’s resurrection for him to get his place in the XI, we’ve now moved past that and he needs regular games which he’ll get at the sides in the 14-16th place slots like Everton, Man U and Spuds. Good lad, and good luck.

Aye, if we’re apportioning blame here then the post needs to take a long hard look at itself. Craig’s next idea to protect footballers:

They should hire you. You’re better than any physio.

I mean £12m does convert to a £60m deal because he's a home grown player. And with 12months left on his contract, who is going to pay us more than £12mil for our 6th choice CM?

Aye, that’s what I meant. ‘We’ll buy one of your best players in late June to get you out of a hole if you take Longstaff off our hands in early July (start of the new accounting year).’

Heaton Stan v Morpeth Town in the Northumberland FA Senior Cup final tonight at SJP if anyone’s doing nowt. Cash only turnstiles in the east stand

Champion. Go anywhere, wear my USSR 88 top and shit myself in a doorway after 15 pints and 5 curry wursts. Sounds like normal holiday for me

I’ve seen worse players than Longstaff go for more than £25 million. He has been a regular in sides performing at the right end of the table and even chipped in with 8 goals or so last season. There’ll be a few teams who will fancy getting him a run of games. It’s also telling that everyone that plays with him and manages him says he’s a good player

You'd understand better if you took your anti-Longstaff tunnel vision specs off.

Havertz, Rice and Trossard back in training today.

Do a day trip to Potsdam the former capital of Prussia. Don’t be tempted to drink Berliner Weiße and eat as much Currywurst as you can.

Don’t make me fall out with you! 😄

I see Ineos are outperforming Ashley as well with Amorim and others having to make sure staff will be able to watch their final.

Don’t worry, no cunt will be able to watch it.

We're fine with the Chinese. A great bunch of lads.

I had a raptured intestine ten years ago with peritonitis, xL (lethality rate) is more than 1 in 5. Went to hospital thinking it’s just an inflammation of the appendix. Needed to have a life saving operation and made a lot of use of the ability to control the pain killing infusion myself. An induced coma sounds a good idea tbh.

Ruptured intestine. They’re also saying he’s being kept asleep after the first stage of surgery. They normally do this when the abdomen can’t be closed due to swelling etc and therefore patient is kept asleep as they wouldn’t be able to tolerate the pain when conscious. This is really, really nasty 🙁

There was an offside given against Coventry in the second half against the tramps last night that was onside by about 7 yards. When you look at decisions like that it's understandable why this rule is in place. As Toonpack says players are at least as likely to get injured from any other phase of play. I guess it just looks bad when you see there was actually no need for the player to be there.

Apparently we don't have any need to do any deals like that this year though? From the noises I've heard, we're going to be trying to use FFP to our advantage this year by picking players from teams who need to do a deal.

The truth is it’s full of tours and museums, any pub you see will have excellent beer and all the restaurants are brilliant otherwise they don’t stay open. I was there for 2 months in 89 and went for a long weekend in 2008 so my specific knowledge is out of date.

Do what you want