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When xG takes over the traditional 3 points for a win scoring system next season, we’ll be able to see this sort of magic.

Kiss it and remember it!

Christ Gloom, the lengths some folks will go to, to avoid meeting CT post match !! Hope you're ok 👍

I’ll be over the moon if we end up with 68.86 points

Remember, if approached by any marra's to look down at your feet and shuffle away, thems the rewls.

Don’t question the SUPER COMPUTER.

It’s early morning but how do Villa expected to gain more points than Chelsea but their probability to qualify for the CL is worse?

2-0 Isak with a hat-trick

Here you go lads. Hot off the press, just updated 36 minutes ago.

I remember world of sport being on in the house and them cutting to valley parade and just seeing the stand engulfed in flames and shouting my dad through from the garden to see it. Horrific.

I can see us playing the same system we did today, we last rolled it out against them and they had no answer for it and since Joelinton will still be out we may as well.

0-3 - Sol Campbell hatrick

Depends who we have fit, they're going to be desperate to beat us and they did play well in parts against PSG. If we drop off like we have done in games they might get their win but I hope we've already got it done by the time Everton comes around and to paraphrase Delores, 'We're in his heeeeead, in his heeeaaad, Playmobil, Playmobil, Playmobil -il-il-il-il' so could well do the business again. I'll be on holiday when we play the cunts so arsenal fans will need an exclusion zone around me for everybody's sake next week.

It's hard to see how they come at the Premier League next season with the belief that they can qualify for the Champions League again. They've been so far off the pace, have shown no heart outside the of the Europa League and have extremely deep seeded problems throughout the club. They're regressing whilst clubs like us and Aston Villa are moving quickly in the other direction. Man United aren't the drawcard they once were for players so they've subsequently paid extremely high wages to bring players in. At the same time they've failed to get consistent performances from anyone whether they've been more experienced players or players bought on their potential (and paid according to their potential too). They don't have a style or identity in the pitch because their squad is Frankenstein's monster from various manager's tenures. They'll struggle to have anyone that can be sold - noone will pay the excessive wages to unproven players or players past their prime and despite the media's best efforts to promote their young players, the table doesn't lie. A line of managers have failed to fix the intrinsic problems and the owners, despite spending heavily, have managed to all but destroy the relationship with the supporters. Tottenham's problems aren't as deep seeded because they've always been very tight with their wage structure. That said they've run out of cash cows players they can sell to fund other purchases so no European income next season will hurt their rebuild immensely. Having seen them bottle many important games this season I can't see how they will beat Man Utd who have some spammy ability to win stuff.

As ridiculous as it is that one of Spurs or Manu will end up in the CL; I think we're missing how likely hilarious it will be trying to see the winner cope with the CL next season. If it's Manu they will likely throw more money at it and dig themselves deeper into the ground. Their problems won't be resolved by one or two good signings. There's more comedic value to be had from these two next season either way.

Same place as the statement it’ll take 8 weeks- pulling it out of their arse.

“I can only feel two?”

All the best, Gloomy. I'm assuming the docs gave you the all clear. "How many fingers? What position is our #1 priority to improve in the summer?" All the standard questions.

Mind you, if we beat them a fourth time this season I genuinely think it might break Arteta. We might watch a man completely come apart in real time.

That poor bloke walking around on fire is just horrific. It does seem to be the forgotten football disaster

All the pressure is on them to turn around a rotten run of form. Of all the teams for that pressure to lie on, Arsenal will probably not handle it well

I mean I know, but at the same time I just thought it might be interesting to review the permutations I always back us against Arsenal but at the same time, we shouldn't panic if we lose.

I’m at Supergrass on Tuesday night so fingers crossed I come out, check my phone and see some real embarrassing scenes on Wearside