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I think I'm going to end every sentence with "...& of course the Genocide" from now on. Love the way he drops it in there. "My favourite teams? Newcastle, Mainz, Norrköping, Stenhousemuir & of course the Genocide." "I'll have the lamb jalfrezi, pilau rice, garlic naan & of course the Genocide."

"Why don't we have threads dissing U12 girls teams winning the league against boys, Reg?" "Because why would we? We're a football board having a laugh, taking the piss, talking about football. Leave it to RTG for that shite " "Don't oppress me! It's my right as a man to discuss U12 girls teams!" "I'm not oppressing you, but you're not an MLF?" "I want to be one." "What?!" "I want to be an MLF and talk shite about U12 girls teams." "But why? You're a Mag on a NUFC forum, we don't do that shite?" "Why don't we agree that CT, as a man from boldon, has the right to talk shite about U12 girls especially as he's dangerously close to Sunderland even though he's a Mag on a NUFC forum." "But what's the point?" "I want to invest in crypto currency as well!"

“Mission accomplished agent Shearer, getting yet another chomp from a spreadsheet dude, return to base, this is Luddite red leader, over and out”

"This Exile 1968 character knows too much about our match fixing and is also a threat if he puts his football boots back on. Arrange either a car 'accident' with faulty breaks or get the lad who did Gazza's knee in Walkers to come out of retirement and finally put and end to Exile 1968's football career. We can't let this existential threat linger on for much longer."

Do you mean the Guggenheim in Bilbao marra? More proof of the relationship between the cities marra. Anyway, the moron Skylon has a new "insult" for us amongst his inane lies. Newcamel. I mean, if he's really clever he can call us "Poocamel". Chortle.

There, that's fixed it

"Hello Geordie, what do you have to say?" "here, ah dinnit think Steyve did a bad job for them, ah meayn us, marra, ah meayn wor kid. Yi na them, I meayn us mags, wuh expect too much, and hound managers out, and wuh definitely have an infeereeoritey complex when it comes to sun'lin - who Steyve was absolooteley woeful for, marra, ah mean wor kid. And let's not forget, the genocide."

Commentators talking about how good Schär is as the camera pans to him on the pitch as he's chatting away to the Spurs forward.... "I am terribly sorry, my friend, were you thinking of getting past me? Don't mind me as I just move past you with ease and play in our terrific blonde, Liverpudlian urchin fellow on the wing. Ciao."

lol Liverpool

You usually get called by them from birth or thereabouts 👍🏻

Seeing as we're talking about bad predictions...

Couldn't resist.

"Hi Alan, it's sky here, are you available to commentate on the Spurs v Arsenal match day?" "Absoloitely and can oi say it should be an absoloitely tremendous match as the North London matches tend to boi." "Errr, well err, if you could just do the forest v man city game after Gary does the spurs v arsenal match that would be really fantastic." "Hello? Hello? Alan? Are you still there?"

Man who negotiates contract for a living complains about the contract he negotiated. Boris Johnsonesque.

I see Mike Ashley has failed in his attempt to stop us having an exclusive kit deal with JD Sports. So sad.

Like clockwork

As well as all the clear benefits this win gives us re. League position, GD, confidence etc, let’s not forget how pissed off Andrew will be at having to start another match thread.

Not sure what my favourite part of Ballard's performance was against us. Was it the fact he should have been sent off for dragging Isak down? Was it for giving away a penalty? Was it for scoring an own goal? For me it was him claiming offside:

Durham's child 🎵 Athle-tic Bilbao, We formed them The Blay-don races We made it Football documentaries We rocked it 'Cause we depend on fantasy If I wanted the striker that you bought We'd buy him The staydeyum we play in We wreck it The coach we brought in We sacked him We depend on fantasy (I depend on fantasy) All the marras, fucking spannas Throw your hands up at me All the hard cunts sparking Magpies Throw your hands up at me All the amnesty who never heard of me Throw your hands up at me All the Sunlin who truly feel me Throw your hands up at me Marra I didn't know you could make shit up like that Marco, how your marras make stuff up like that Marra I didn't know you could make shit up like that Marco, how your marras make stuff up like that.... 🎶

"Raise warning level to Def Com Brown. We thought we'd gotten away with it after the Black Cats bar blunder, but Grimes has sussed the Frat kid's true allegiance and the placement of the infantry behind enemy lines". "Roger. We'll I instruct the Frat kid to wear an FTM pin badge. Over."

Or EMIL KRAFTH has. It's always the ones you least suspect.

So, had confirmation from MoD that DNA comparison is positive, we've found my Great Uncle Gordon, remains recovery site shown below in red circle (now a major hospital). Next will be his interment service, full military honours etc. Likely next year 110 years to the day after he was killed.

I heard he was allergic to the 5G that Bill Gates put in the “inoculation “. The more you know … … and, of course, the Genocide

I like how he’s just invented these scenarios and then convinced himself it’s just a matter of time until it’s uncovered with massive ramifications. I suppose it’s a bit like convincing yourself you used to be as good at football as one of the best midfielders in the premier league.

Shady Tyneside Cabal Member: Will you do it? The Jackal: Yes. Shady Tyneside Cabal Member: How much? The Jackal: You must understand that this is a once-in-a-lifetime job, whoever kills Exile can never work again... Shady Tyneside Cabal Member: How much do you want? The Jackal: Half a million. Shady Tyneside Cabal Member: What? The Jackal: Half in advance, half on completion. Shady Tyneside Cabal Member: Half a million pounds? The Jackal: No, containers of cheesy chips and bottles of blue pop.

"Ye Gods, the man is out of control! We need to silence him quicker than originally anticipated. He's a dangerous, loose cannon who knows the real truth. Is the 'Jackal' still alive and taking on work?"

I’ve always wondered which of the following they consider to be the classiest? 1- Glassing your chairman when he’s out for a meal with his wife. 2- Racially abusing your striker’s mother 3- Shitting all over your stadium and village. Maybe it’s a cumulative thing?

He was just waving back at Ballard

And of course.

You win some, you lose some.

Looks like Adam Pearson about to walk down the stairs after buying the new shirt. If tattoos moved he'd be about to tap the wall.

Listened to the Athletic Football Podcast episode in Slot, and it sounds like we've got another Dutch genius landing on our shores, to match the fanfare they gave the last one (currently stinking the place up at Man United). Genius communicator, unmatched man manager. And I quote, "the only question mark is around his personality, how he carries himself" - in other words, another cunt. Basically the only way Liverpool could find someone arrogant enough to think they could replace Klopp was to either appoint a Dutchman or a South African, and South Africans don't really do football management.

came for the poppadom story...stayed for the comments

Orkward situation

Thought it was another really good performance from Anderson. He seems more of a physical presence than last season and I’ve been impressed with his energy on top of the technical ability he’s previously shown. I think midfield is his best position

They'd sing Jimmy Savile's name if he was getting them 10 goals a season. There'd also be way more dickheads turning up to the match dressed as sheikhs if they got bought out by the Saudis. Being too classy for owners that will never want them is all they've got left.

I don't have a fanny and it still dried out seeing this.

How the feck are the forums going to work for us dyslexics if there are no more replys?

A Study in Bemusement … ” Mama, why do these fat people keep taking photos of us?” ” I don’t know, mija “ ” Did Papi do something wrong?” ” No, angel, just smile, they’ll go away soon” ” But they don’t, Mama, they keep making us hold flags, and they smell like old churros” ” What is a sunderland, Mama?” ” I don’t know niña, I’ve never heard of it”