Howmanheyman

"I fancied nice cup of that famous, luvveleh carpaccio but when it came it wa just a thin strip of sorreh lewkin meat and it wa raw! Bloody Italian wops trying it on with honest folk visiting their country! You don't get this shit in Harrogate tea shops I tell thee! And don't me started on brass they wanted for their foreign muck!"

Knowing Eddie he's got something lined up for arsenal and doesn't want to give it away.

It's bad enough as it is.

Those opta percentages made me laugh but at those giving them much credence, they veer dramatically after every week so by nature are going to change by results so I'd love to see our percentage chance pre villa to now? Not saying we won't do it but some of the crack you heard from some people, particularly from some of the pundits, that had us already qualified was fucking bizarre, again, especially from pundits who rarely mention us and normally have half our squad sold off. It was never going to be as cut and dried as they made out.

I'd also chuck in @Howay. Miss his mackem rants and unusually, his macron/Palace ones.

I was too young for the 83-84 season, my dad took me to the first home game which I loved even though we managed to get beat and that was my first and last glimpse of KK in a NUFC shirt for a proper match. I'd have loved to have went to the aways but it was about five years after that season I went to my first. A completely different environment to what there is now and that's not always a bad thing but I'm just glad I got to see football raw and uncut for a few years anyway. Obviously there's rose tinted glasses a la gemmill which I wouldn't deny but I read someone saying not too long ago that the SJP clientele is more Jesmond than Walker, more Darras Hall than Cowgate and whilst that's an exaggerated point it's not that exaggerated.

The trophy should make it the best and it was immense but if you're not there to see it plus if you're no onger a young buck? I always say my joint favourite seasons were 92-94 promotion plus 3rd in the PL. A young man in my prime enjoying the KK feast after the famine of division two. Amazing. I loved the cup win, who couldn't as a NUFC fan but it's at a distance so different.

How much did they pay fiorentina for Vloahavic? €80m? I wonder how much the chubby cheeks yank McKinnie cost? Kelly needs to respond by saying 'nee good starting looking at my signing, amici!'

Just seen the score, fucking Scouse - it means more - cunts. I didn't fancy a result going our way at 'the bridge' at all today so zero surprise here. I'm sure there was hell on a few years ago with a side resting their players where they actually got fined, (wolves?) but obviously there'll be fuck all said in this case. I'd have took a point today but really wanted the three as a buffer, we'll be absolutely fucked if we get beat by those cheating, cockney shithouses next week. Nothing less than a win because if we're lethargic against arsenal it's Europa for us next season.

It's Sue Smith's twin, Lee Hendrie.

I've had two days of sorting out old bedroom furniture and putting up new IKEA stuff for the daughter's room, I've cut my finger, my back is fucked, I can't even have a can when I'm done as I'm on antibiotics, I hate Sweden now so Isak better score a hat trick the Swedish cunt.

Here's another one then... A sparkie gets a call out jerb in an Ashington working men's clurb. He walks in and asks the steward, 'where's the mains, mate?' bar steward replies, 'through them doors on the right, next to the ladies.'

I'd watch that but I've seen the presenter a couple of times and if I was stuck in a lift with him only one of us would walk out alive, what a prize prick he is and worse than that, thinks he's funny and debonair, so a bit like that Irish placca mackem on the guardian.

Your territory tbf.

My in-laws live in North Tyneside, the FiL has been in hospital and the MiL is disabled so they asked me to post their votes for them. They almost always have GB News on so no prizes for guessing which way they'll have voted. I was very tempted to chuck their postal ballots in the bin but I didn't in the end. Farage would have them fucked for their medical needs but they'll be conviently hidden away from those views by the cunts gaming the system.

Gloomy looking to see where he can purchase the tickets for the kids ad hoc 'shall we go to the beach' event messaged amongst themselves on Instagram or whatever ..... When he gives up looking and just goes there anyway.....

It would do my head in if they were right on my doorstep and unfortunately you get the scotes with the decent kids so I do see your exasperation if they're a pain in the arse.

"Time gentlemen, please! See your drinks off!" Fish: "But I've only just walked into your establishment, ordered my Pimm's with tonic and a slice of lemon cut just a little thicker, the place is empty and it's only quarter past eight?" "Right! You're barred. Get out!"

The daughters and their mates have sometimes went down to the coast with their mates when it's been nice weather for an evening on the beach. They probably had a little drink, they lit some small fire for the anniversary of their friends death by suicide, they all work. None of them live at the coast though so should probably have went somewhere rough just like we all do if we want a break or go on a holiday. We live in a society full of cunts and people who probably ok but not bright enough to not be hoodwinked by the likes of Farage. The young are the ones being shafted by and large and the thick ones now will be the thick ones in middle age. It's just what this country is, haves, have nots, thick cunts, reasonably intelligent people and a media and social media poisoning the well in an ever more opaque way.

I'll take average, TBF.

🎶Wissa matta you, hey, got-a no respect What do you tink you do, why you look-a so sad It's-a not so bad, it's-a nice place Ah, shaddup-a you face🎵

If that's us qualifying for the CL in 16th place you'd never hear the end of it being 'through the back door'.

Forest owner not looking a happy chappy. I could almost see him sacking Nuno the mental cunt.