Howmanheyman

It's a good job you can't see what the hidden hand is doing.

I took my Dad to this for a treat right next to their fans, they were fucking blotto, obviously been in the toon all day game meaningless but had a laugh. One got hoisted up on his pals shoulders running down the steps in the corner of the east stand/leazes risking hospitalisation where both fans were singing the Albert song at him as he was the spitting dabs of him.

Some Cockney wanker on that sky show, (where journalists sit around a table with croissants and coffee strewn around and look deadly serious talking about whether Harry Kane will be better than Rooney for England and other such shite usually involving mourinho and Wenger), professed to be shocked how bad he was doing at WBA. He thought he'd do a great job DESPITE HAVING A LITTLE BIT OF A BAD SPELL AT PALACE. Do these fuckers live in some sort of bubble?

No, Doddie. (You need a good straight man).

The fatha, what a complete prick. Carragher I can't stand as well.

Can't beat an away day, on the piss with all your mates, laughing, singing, it's fucking great, man.......

First Sunderland, now West Ham. He likes pikey-ish fan bases mind.

'Premier concourse' sounds like the big bus stop at the old galleries in Washington.

I've heard he's a bit of an animal like his mate, Pippa Rani.

Luckily, Sunderland are still in the shit despite the £30m and it's also done Everton no favours either. Only winner in this case is the kids bank balance and his agents fee. Agree it was a joke transfer fee especially in the circumstances. At least Sissoko had two clubs battling it out for him, (for some strange reason).

Some breaking transfer news. A big blow for black cats fans as Billy the fitter said he's busy in the summer and has a family holiday already booked so won't be able to move some of the redder seats down from the empty stand to replace the pink ones. SAFC refused to comment saying they were still in negotiations with Billy hoping he'd accept four season tickets and four £100 vouchers to be spent in the club shop for the work rather than the £5,658 Billy quoted the club. More as we get it.

To be honest, I think it's a strange move full stop to close down any of their stands after Bob Murray said he wanted them to always have at least one more seat than Newcastle. If anything they need to increase their capacity to overtake us not cut back. If he was dead he'd be turning in his grave. FTM.

Knight Ryder: "When I'm in the Stadium of Light covering the derby and need a shite, ah look around at the Sunderland echo boys and say 'Ahm ganna give borth to a mackem'. They alwiz put their heeds doon. Cannit blame the fuckas, I've fried much bigger fish than them in me away days as a toon army foot soldier! Lol."

Looks like our young charvers were ahead of the game getting rid of some unnecessary seats.

Understand the mackems are looking at a loan next season if they go down OR stay up. More as I make it up.

What the fuck?

I fucking hate that phrase by the way, 'our/my understanding' WTF is that supposed to mean? Ashley: "Off the record boys, what I'm looking at for Mitro is over £15 miwl, anda £22 miwl and rhymes wif 'plenty' miwl." Reporter: "My understanding is Mike Ashley is looking for £20m for Mitrovic."

I'm not even going to click and read that. Large Samuel in the shit and trying to deflect the excrement from himself, it's a real lifetime skill of his.

Really sorry to hear about your loss, Chris.

That's because you didn't give him the secret MLF sign of '6' they use when they're in Mag territory.

But was he a brilliant bloke and a top tipper?

Will be the answer in this case.