Ayatollah Hermione

Considering how fucking knackered all the players look, it’s probably for the best

The English who go abroad and will hunt high and low for things they can get at home boil my piss. Was in a beach bar the other day and some grim as fuck Scousers walked in and one ordered a pie and chips with gravy ffs. All I could think was “Fuck off to Benidorm”

OH YEAH BABY

You started this paragraph loving it and by the end, you hate 60% of the show and hate the main star

Getting Sommer for about £5 million instead of paying mad money for Henderson is Ashworth all over. Get another couple of year out of the keepers we’ve got and spend big money on the next young keeper down the line

A massive 180 from the bloke who said he was absolutely desperate to stay

If Howe thinks he can get a tune out of Lewis then let him crack on. He’s got something out of all of the other lost causes

Fraudy Ralph will either start the season well on one of his fluky runs or they’ll lose 8 off the belt and he’ll be gone. I’ll say Lampard. Hopefully following a 6-0 battering off us

Wor lass has fucked off to bed with a bad head so I’m killing time at the bar, Captain Arsehole!

Is that why everyone has left here?

If we were desperate enough to take Hendrick, some other cunt will be.

Free pack of Kodak batteries with every season ticket

Giving a load of, would be, elite athletes a healthy helping of carbonara in the middle of their training week ffs I suppose we can look back and laugh in a couple of years

After however long it’s been since this, time for an update. My workplace got so toxic that it eventually just exploded, ended up with new management but nothing really changed enough to warrant staying. So, today, as I sit in 30 degree Kos heat with a (fabulous) Pina Colada, I’ve just got a call offering me a new job, with a hefty pay rise and more senior position to boot. Happy fucking holidays

10AM Greek time, dick lips! And I’ll have you know I ordered a lager and a glass of water at first. Fuck this, I’m off in the pool.

Two hours ahead here. So I started drinking at 8am your time if you’re keeping track.

Deaf people still make noise, Wykiki. Or at least the ones I’ve shagged

They’re fucking not shy with the measurements here, like. Just asked for a Jack and Coke and it’s blasted my napper off.

Off to Kos in 30 minutes, brothers. Maxed out the credit card after buying a pint of Moretti in the airport but never mind. Catch you later

This is not photoshopped

New special relationship with Reims has begun today

He’s got a track record of fancying donkeys tbf

Lol @ Hungary raising a load of racist kids. What a world we live in

James Justin is about as comfortable at international level as I am

Why we talking about concrete with them? Seems like a waste of time to me