Ayatollah Hermione

Still got a huge list of music to get through but here's my "Heard and Liked" list Vampire Weekend - Modern Vampires of The City Uncle Acid and The Deadbeats - Mind Control Daft Punk - Random Access Memories The Knife - Shaking the Habitual Kurt Vile - Walkin on a Pretty Daze Jim James - Regions of Light and Sound Kanye West - Yeezus Justin Timberlake - 20/20 David Bowie - The Next Day William Tyler - Impossible Truth Disclosure - Settle (at least, half of it) Inc. - No World Autre Ne Veut - Anxiety Parquet Courts - Light Up Gold Villagers - Awayland Laura Marling - Once I was an Eagle The Dear Hunter - Migrant is Tropical - I’m Leaving QOTSA - Like Clockwork Run The Jewels - S/T Peace - In Love Thee oh Sees - Floating Coffin Bosnian Rainbows I Am Kloot - Let It All In

This is basically where I am at the minute. Twitter has become unreadable because people can't stop obsessing over the smallest news stories. I'm not going to any matches this season, only went to the European games last year and I'd love to say it's because I work at weekends but there was plenty of times that I was free and didn't bother myself. There's no joy in it anymore; the football we play is plodding and hopeless, there's no new players with a bit of intrigue about them and most importantly, we're run, top to bottom, like a stall selling cheap After Dark tapes on the Quayside. This is where Mike Ashley's Newcastle United has been leading to and we're getting smaller by the day, we're getting overtaken by the teams around us and once the Mackems beat us again in October, you'll see some proper shit hit the fan.

"Yum yum!"

I see Jack Whitehall has just about become ubiquitous with the BBC's consistently awful comedy output btw. BBC3 is basically Student Dorm: The TV Channel.

I'd love to know who they think they're fooling with this shit.

Hungover and this Puppet Game Show thing is on the telly and I'm not sure what's real anymore.

Unbelievable bollocks on them.

2 games played. There shouldn't even be a table to show until 10 games in.

Does WhoScored.com have a stat for "stupid fucking shots from 30 yards for no reason" and how many does Ben Arfa have?

Great page, congrats, Chez.

I thought our 4-4-2 without actual wingers was a ludicrous choice but Sammy got at that full back and he shit himself and it almost led to the winner so what do I know? Ben Arfa looked fitter but was incredibly frustrating.

I wouldn't want Hoddle but he's well regarded in the game itself. How much of it is rose-tinted is up for debate but there's plenty who will defend him as a coach.

We're turbo shit at developing youth players anyway.

Thought we were the better team in the second half but really struggled to break them down. I think their defence played well and we'll play poorer sides at home this year but if we fall prey to injuries, we'll really struggle. I think Sammy did well when he came on and it was the first time Pardew's made a proactive, attacking substitution for a long while and it almost paid off. He had the beating of their RB time and again and it's exactly what we needed. I hope that's a sign of things to come at home; we've got a point today, let's build off it and get a good home run going.

"Yes, Mrs Smith, we have a special joystick in the back for you" I'm assuming this kind of backroom, multiplayer action happens all the time?

Bit of a boy arse in that picture though.

I'd have full on sex with her, if you catch my drift.

I Am Kloot - Let It All In Silly band name, lovely chord changes and nice sparse arrangements.

The outrage over this has been absolutely class btw. Proper nerd rage is hard to top. It should have been Bruce Willis anyway.

I think we'll honestly get a good idea of how we'll be for the rest of the year tomorrow. West Ham will be organised, committed and effective and if we struggle to make chances and deal with their set-pieces, I honestly think we might struggle to win games. If we get a run of results going at home, we might very well get a bit of confidence back, from manager to players.

One that's not on there, that I love and we'll sadly never see again, is the ball getting stuck in the stanchion. Used to be the best part of watching matches on ESPN Classic.

"He looks like a lesbian has tripped through the sales rail at Marks and Spencers" as he was once described as my mate. Never heard a better description for him.

Too right as well. It's lovely to see someone enjoy her art so much.

reminds me of being about 3 year old and getting a Master System for Christmas. I wonder how my dad convinced my mam that it was actually for me and not him.

ah whey, that might work out a bit better since I'm not blown away by the launch titles announced (though, I expect the digital line-up to be pretty good on day one) so I can take a bit of time and see how it all pans out and see what the other 15 or so titles are. I like being an early adopter though. FIFA has been turbo shit for ages, it's a proper battle to get your players to do what they should be doing in the first place. The amount you have to fiddle with the sliders is criminal and the first generation of EA sports games on new consoles are always canny bad anyway. I'll do what I do every year, play it at a mate's house for ages, complain when my player passes to the wrong person for the 500th time and that'll be me until the next year.